Arkley, Glass autograph baseballs to raise money for Eureka Reporter

Citing declining circulation and ad figures, billionaire and Eureka Reporter owner Robin Arkley II and Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass held a joint press conference Friday to outline an aggressive new revenue partnership to turn the tide on what they called “those smug bastards” at the Times-Standard. The plan involves auctioning authentic Major League baseballs [...]

Kirk Girard attains enlightenment

Maybe this is one of those things like string theory or Wonkavision that makes a shit-ton more sense when you’re drinking. But we’re between cocktail hours at the Humboldt Mirror–and frankly, we’re confused. Our favorite Community Development Disservices director, Kirk Girard, provided a positively zen explanation Tuesday of that whole TPZ planning commission report dust-up [...]

What the hell—it’s 4:20 somewhere

A bill co-authored by Eureka Assemblywoman Patty Berg would prohibit California employers from firing medical marijuana cardholders for smoking pot away from work, even if they test positive for the drug at work. The bill would mark the first expansion of Proposition 215, also called the Compassionate Use Act, which legalized the production, distribution and [...]

Someone’s got some ‘splaining to do…

An interesting letter delivered to the Humboldt Mirror mailbox over the weekend states that the residence of a certain Community Development Disservices Director may violate the codes and ordinances he is charged with enforcing. The story goes that the unidentified appointee lives on a seven-acre parcel with an 800-foot driveway—and no secondary access road. A [...]

Ralph Nader: Are we sure he’s not from here?

Who doesn’t love a “progressive”? As expected, Ralph Nader, the former consumer safety advocate and one-time political spoiler, announced on Meet the Press this morning that he will mount a fifth failed campaign for president. Nader is still despised by many mainstream democrats for siphoning off 2.7 percent of the Democratic vote in the 2000 [...]

Proposed ordinance would require Kirk Girard to just shut the fuck up

The Humboldt County Board of Supervisors will consider a proposed ordinance that would require Community Development Disservices Director Kirk Girard to abstain from using any form of verbal communication. According to the text of the proposed ordinance, Girard would be prohibited from “the expression of any thought, idea or opinion about anything, in any medium, [...]

Just think how pissed off you’ll be when that’s your money she’s wasting

In another sign that Hillary Clinton is perhaps not the best candidate to serve as leader of the free world, recent campaign finance reports made public Wednesday show that she blew millions of dollars of campaign contributions on party platters, luxury hotels and a revolving door of overpriced consultants. The New York Times reported Friday [...]

Ordinance would restrict military recruiting in Arcata, so those less fortunate can die instead

A small group of residents of the largely white and affluent city of Arcata announced Wednesday that they plan to circulate petitions in support of a proposed ordinance that would prohibit military recruiters from speaking to Arcatans under the age of 18. The ordinance would allow recruiters to focus their efforts in poorer, more ethnically [...]

Dead guy’s health only slightly worse than when he was alive

The Humboldt County Coroner’s Office is looking for additional clues to assist in the identification of human remains found Sunday in a creek bed off of Myrtle Avenue in Eureka. “The deceased appears to be an adult male with an old leg fracture, a three-inch-by-four-inch healed bone flap consistent with recent brain surgery, half of [...]

Carson Park Mofo goes ahead and steps in it this time

Oh it’s on now, bitches. It. Is. On. And someone over at the Eureka Standard better be scared. He Whose Name We Shall Not Speak has given the Humboldt Mirror additional unwanted publicity, and even gone so far as to suggest we might be more popular than Fred, the undisputed king of Humboldt blogdom! In [...]

Neely resigns from board; names brother Raúl as successor

In a letter published overnight on the Times-Standard’s website, six-term Humboldt County Supervisor Bonnie Neely announced her immediate resignation from the county’s governing board. The letter stated that the 81-year-old Republican’s younger brother, Raúl, would assume Neely’s Fourth District seat. Specific reasons for the sudden resignation were not provided, but county staffers said advanced age [...]

‘Fat Guy’ missing; Google Earth joins search

Remember Christ Durant? We do too. For years the grammatically-challenged Times-Standard reporter stumbled and hacked his way through the police beat like an elephant on ice skates. But when he goes missing, we feel the loss. Why this Ryan Burns? And Donna Tam? Please. Impostors both. We want our Fat Guy back. Whether you liked [...]

1980s-flashback party culminates in abortion clinic arson

Police have linked a pair of small fires believed to have been intentionally set Sunday at a Eureka abortion clinic to a group of local revelers wistfully celebrating a bygone era. “It’s all so quaint, so thoroughly 1980s” said Debbe Hartridge, education director for Six Rivers Planned Parenthood, as she surveyed the minor damage caused [...]

Lovelace mulls run against equally distasteful rival

Mark Lovelace confirmed Thursday that he is considering tossing his oversized hat into the ring in a Third District supervisor race that could pit the unpopular Humboldt Watershed Council President for Life against Harbor Commissioner and fellow far-left egomaniac Mike Wilson. “I think when Supervisor (John) Woolley announced he was stepping down at the end [...]

What’s this in our mailbox?

If you guessed “turds”—you’re wrong. We have mail! Hooray for us. It certainly has been a heady two weeks. The Humboldt Mirror began on February first, and only eight days later, the lovely Redheaded Blackbelt discovered our quiet existence. She was kind enough to give us a shout-out on her delightful blog, and for this [...]