Ken Miller calls for wipees, fresh underpants, as completely normal guy enters Third District race

Far-left string-puller and perennial sore loser Ken Miller deposited a massive load of stink in his chinos Wednesday upon learning that mainstream Democrat Bryan Plumley would challenge enviro-fascist Mark Lovelace for the Third District seat on the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors.

“All of Mark’s supporters should be shit-their-pants scared of Plumley,” said MIller, who characterized the late entrant into the race as “a guy we’re going to have a hard time smearing, pardon the pun.”

“He’s like human Olestra,” Miller said. “He’s from Arcata, he’s a Democrat, he’s worked for years to create jobs in the county, he actually makes sense, and he hasn’t already alienated half the voter-base. If that doesn’t cause a little fecal urgency among his competitors, I don’t know what will.”

As of Wednesday afternoon, six candidates had filed the requisite paperwork to run for the post that was put up for grabs when John Woolley decided to step down at the end of his current term.

Candidates included Plumley, Lovelace, landscaper and former Arcata City Councilman Paul Pitino, former Sacramento politico Christopher Lehman, Harbor Commissioner Mike Wilson, and carpenter and Humboldt Coalition for Property Rights rep Lee Ulansey.

But by Wednesday night, after Miller rolled the major deuce in his drawers, the field had unexpectedly narrowed to three.

Ulansey withdrew to throw his support behind Plumley, while Wilson and Lehman dropped out for reasons unknown.

Only Plumley, Pitino and Lovelace remained.

Plumley, 40, an Arcata business leader, told North Coast Journal Editor Hank Sims that he had no particular agenda but was interested in “economic development” and “competent management,” both of which Lovelace opposes.

Miller said he plans to sue Plumley’s campaign for the cost of having his slacks cleaned replaced, plus a few hundred thou for the emotional distress and lingering stench the nearly foot-long stink-pickle left behind.

32 Responses

  1. Jeezus bugs. Gonna have to put a sticky on my computer screen reminding me to swallow coffee before reading Mirror headlines. Y’all are KILLING me.

  2. I just can’t wait for Mark to show us his platform printed on newly recycled 215 perscription pads. Certainly better than it’s prior use as wallpaper in over 1000 Arcata grow houses. Apparently, Dr. Ken has donated the pulp as part of the settlement of his pending investigation by the state medical board.

  3. Here’s what I love about Miller and Lovelace. They’re always going on about how much they love us Palco workers, holding seminars and every thing to show how much they care. But when you get them one on one, what did Ken Miller say to a Palco forester last week? ‘I despise you. I despise everyone you work with and everyone you work for. I hope you all burn in hell.’ It wasn’t the first time he said it, but I didn’t see any mention of their true feelings in those press releases of theirs about the bankruptcy. No, in public Miller who pays Lovelace has him speak the message of love and support. Don’t believe it. Don’t believe anything they say. They don’t care about anyone but them selves.

  4. To “Palco Employee”: Thank you thank you thank you! I for one am SOOOOO sick of the enviro-fascists (“doctors” or not) claim love for the people of this County that they clearly HATE – enough to take away your jobs, your rights, your independant thoughts and rights of self sufficiency all the while claiming to be upright, moral, concerned citizens on behalf of the environment…RIGHT. Kinda like Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Tito, …

    They want to only perpetuate a sheep mentality (easiest to control) in the lazy public whilst sponging off of the rest of us that are brave enough to actually work for a living…maybe under the guise of being an employee of a “non-profit” or working for the “social good”.

    Keep pushing down hard enough on folks and DANG, they might just start doing the unimaginable: THINKING FOR THEMSELVES!!!!

    Look out all of you environmental fascist whackos; your over-inflated, uniformed arrogance has finally awakened the sleeping dog that is gonna KICK YOUR ASSES!

  5. It looks like the fake Yo is at it again.

  6. Holy crap!! The birdie pulls off a simultaneous reductio ad Hitlerum, Stalinum, Titoum and Mussolinium all in a single sentence fragment!! Is this some kind of record?

  7. It looks like the fake Yo is at again at 6:20 am.
    (sorry for the double post, I hit submit before I finished – premature e-postulation?)

  8. Right you are, 8:47. Deleting Faux Yo comments now. He, she or it is free to express opinions anonymously, but not under another blogger’s pseudonym. Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

  9. OMG you have to hit the ‘rolled the major deuce’ link in the post. It takes you to a poo-catching game. Move the stool around with your cursor to bounce the turd into the toity. It’s unparalleled awesomeness (for losers like me).

  10. I hope one if not both of the democratic candidates has a union bug printed on their campaign materials.

  11. or at least..a bug.

  12. No a union bug. Campaign materials printed by a union company. As far as I know, Times Printing is the only union shop in town.

  13. Carol,give it a rest. This was funny shit. I lmao and you can’t damper my “high” with your phony support union bull shit. I’ve been a union member my whole working life and although I do laugh at you this post still has me lmao. Extra TP anyone?

  14. ad nazium….

    and Carol: DO give it a rest.

  15. We love the Carol!! Without her this blog would be completely insincere.

  16. Stopped in at the HCDCC the other night. Carol’s a regular there. I like to use their head. The one that flushes. It works. Bye the bye they have lots of extra TP.

  17. Was anyone aware that part of dr. Kens’ periodic presentations to the medical club at HSU is a assertion that medical mojo will cure cancer. No shit, thats what he tells impressionable students. Apparently these kinds of mental lapses are what happens when you over self perscribe, along with delusions of political power and a weak bowel.

  18. Carol,

    I hope you and Greg only use union made products in daily course of running your business…

    To do anything else would be…insincere.

  19. NO to Bone’r,Birdie, and especially NO to Yo-yo

    Thank you, my Humbug blog FRIENDS! You are very funny, but nice blog hosts. I love your senses of humor

    BTW, Estelle Fennell’s campaign materials are 100% union made with the union bug.

  20. Yo, you seem like an intelligent person, and I am indeed insincere.

  21. Come on, blog friends! Big group hug!!

  22. *puts on her mommy voice*
    Now, children…….
    LOL.
    This post was hilarious.

  23. All the posts on this blog are hilarious and the ever-changing header.

    kisses and hugs to all!

  24. Next time I go to the HCDCC I’ll bring my hip boots and poop-er-scooper.

  25. Lol, Greg….good one. The only thing more certain than death and taxes is Greg riding in on his trusty steed to rescue his fair damsel in distress when her credibilty is, uhmm, challenged by the inane statements she makes…

    Greg, Carol, I invite you to take a look back at ekovox’s post from a couple of weeks ago where a Carol was saying she “didnt get” eko’s post (see link, if I can get the gawd dayum thing to work…

    http://299opine.blogspot.com/2008/02/shout-it-from-rooftops.html

    See, Carol, you make a little feel good quip abuot the signmaker being a union shop…and I call you on it…what about the little shops that exist here in Humboldt where it’s just the owner and his family? I know of one right off the top of my head…

    And my tongue in cheek comment to you questioning whether or not you use “union” branded stuff in the course of running your business met with a resounding “no” from you, Carol…yet you want to hold others to standards that you and Greg dont hold yourselves to…

    Having said all of that, I appreciate you are both good people…a bit full of yourselves (but really, who isnt – I know that I luv me some Yo…), but still, good (misguided)folk…

  26. So long bugs – I am taking a hiatus from writing. I really don’t feel much wasting my time with the snidely Yo. I think the blue bugs are cute, but the company here is not.

  27. Carol,if you take a healthy dump you will feel better. You may not think any clearer but hey,your a Lib so we can handle your imput.

  28. The thing is, Carol, and Yo, alot of candidates use the Union Bug (which usually means they print at Times Printing) as an indicator of respect for Unions, OR as a means of pandering to the Unions, and pretending to care just to get a few extra votes. Deciding which is which is the important thing if that issue really means something to you. And Unions used to be a key issue for democrats, a key reason why they registered as democrats, and a huge part of their value system.

    Is that still true in Humboldt County?

    Well, look at the Ollivier/Higgins race. Bill Bertain arranged a huge press conference with all of the Unions represented. One of the most impressive I have seen. They all stood up to support the one candidate who truly supported Unions, was a Union man himself, a Longshoreman, understood the critical importance of jobs, and the role industry plays.

    Two – TWO – reporters showed up. The Humboldt Democratic Central Committee did not back the Union man, the lifelong democrat, they backed a crony.

    What has Higgins done for working people or Unions? Maybe something. Let’s hear it.

    That’s where the rubber meets the road in this discussion. I don’t know where Carol or Greg really stands on this issue so I am not pointing fingers, please don’t take it that way. But lip service is not enough. Using a Union bug and not standing up for Union people is disingenuous and disrespectful.

    If Humboldt County is truly moving away from caring about that historical issue – it probably won’t matter whether you have a Union bug or not.

  29. Rose: The Union bug is important. Good for Estelle.

    Charles was just not in line with the voters. Higgins campaign caught the wind of the voters and sailed that message to a huge victory.

    Those “union leaders” that stood with Charles are old school union people who did not ask their membership who “they” (The ones who pay union dues and actually work for a living) wanted in office.

    Signed,
    Working Union man who backed HCDCC crony.

  30. Union Members prefer candidates who eliminate their jobs…in a recent development The Mirror has learned that local unions will no longer focus on keeping jobs for their membership, increasing the number of jobs, and raising wages. “Our new plan involves eliminating shipping opportunities, ensuring rail transportation is gone, and closing schools,” says local union rep. “Our old school union people held those values high, but the new school believes we don’t really need jobs for a strong union. Those old guys tend to be blue collar workers, while the new unions are progressive, white collar environmentalists,” the press release stated. “Besides, who needs jobs, money, health care, and schools when we have a trail and the most scenic coastline for 30 miles?”

  31. Yep, newsflash (smile!) – and you add to that Unions who themselves don’t take their endorsements seriously, saying in recent years, well. he approached us so we endorsed him, did we ask them all to come in? No. did we evaluate their record with respect to workers? No. Did we think seriously about the value or meaning of our endorsement? No.

    So, you know, I’d say that Union Bug has lost any value in Humboldt County, and Unions are partially to blame. Times Printing is a great place to get your campaign materials printed under any circumstances, but don’t be puttin’ that Union Bug on your campaign materials unless you mean it.

  32. Unless you mean it?

    You think everyone who supports organized labor agrees on all issues?

    Jill Geist says that she supports unions, but everyone knows she will choose management over the workers every time.

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