Health Impact Assessment demonstrates Health Impact Assessment proponents are unhealthy

As expected, a grant-funded Health Impact Assessment presented Thursday to the Planning Commission demonstrates that the most restrictive development option before the commission is by far the healthiest choice for Humboldt County.

The HIA, presented by Public Health Officer Dr. Ann Lindsay, shows that Alternative A, which would allow only minimal urban infill—a maximum of 6,000 additional housing units over the next 25 years—would reduce childhood obesity, improve access to vital services and lower greenhouse gas emissions.

The enormous health benefits that naturally accrue from living in crowded urban centers would increase even further if builders skimped on design and materials costs, according to the HIA.

The number of Planning Commissioners who nodded their heads approvingly while listening to this shit?

All of them.

The number of commissioners, supervisors, medical doctors or other HIA proponents who volunteered to live in the low-quality, high-density housing projects the assessment recommends?

Uh, yeah. That would be zero.

According to the results of an internet search, Dr. Lindsay herself, who oversaw the study, is said to live on North Bank Road, a low-density rural interface between McKinleyville and Fieldbrook.

Mark Lovelace, infill proponent extraordinaire, is listed as living on Buttermilk Lane in the unincorporated Bayside area. One of his neighbors, living on Coffey Lane, is our very own Community Development Disservices Director Kirk Girard.

Anti-sprawl supervisors Bonnie Neely and John Woolley are no better at living their high-density values.

Neely is listed at two addresses, one on Brindle Lane and the other on Glendale Court, both along the outer edge of the unincorporated Myrtletown area, while Woolley resides in a coastal zone on Melvin Road in the unincorporated Manila area.

As for the planning commissioners themselves, only one or two of the seven live within the boundaries of any incorporated city in Humboldt County.

We’re just asking, but does anyone else here ever grow weary of listening to people who live one way telling the rest of us we ought to live another? If ghettos are so wonderful, why aren’t they living in them?

15 Responses

  1. What a total crock of shit. Did you hear them say that living in the country makes kids fat? Must be all that fresh air and recreational activity. It’s hard to believe they can deliver these lines with a straight face.

  2. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I can’t wait for a chance to crowd into a high-density infill development in the crappiest parts of the urban centers of the county.

    With crime increasing and the money for law enforcement dropping precipitously, you can be assured that I’ll be doing a lot of walking around my neighborhood…especially at night when I get off from work, which is when I do most of my shopping.

    Stupid bastards.

  3. County Planning to take role in health care…Citing recent comments by Dr. Ann Lindsay, Kirk Girard has decided he will be in charge of the county’s health care. “Obviously, the healthcare community needs my special kind of help,” said Girard. “With sound planning, we can eliminate heart disease, cancer, and diabetes.”

    Girard stated he will have the Board Supervisors approve a new department for him to oversee, Dr. Girard’s Mysterious Marvelous Healthy Planning Liniment Department. “With a daily dose of Mysterious Marvelous Planning Liniment, all of your ails will go away,” he said. “It has been know to cure cancer, frost bite, chicken pox, hunger, and most importantly, fat.”

    When asked about the role heredity, exercise and and a healthy diet played in community health, Girard stated those were factors, but not as important as design. “The important thing is to replicate the lab rat conditions that produced our statistical results.”

    Funding will magically and mysteriously come from the prop 50 money Girard is overseeing, “Somehow, If I can tie this to water…water, hmmmm, yes, healthy people need water, water comes from watersheds, healthy people need healthy watersheds! Voila! Funding solved.” Jimmy Smith was overheard saying, “Wait….um, Kirk” but was silenced by a quick look from Supervisor and Irish Pirate, Bonnie Neely.
    More information here

  4. Newsflash blows first attempt at a link. More info here:

    http://www.csicop.org/sb/9812/snakeoil.html

  5. Newsflash!! Friend. Always so nice to see you. Now go outside and play in the unhealthy rural interface area. We wouldn’t want you to get fat!!

  6. No chance, I live in town. Fat is for country-folk.

  7. Great and hilarious post. It would be funnier still if it wasn’t so true. Apparently, HumCPR is having a meeting in Ferndale, we need to make sure there are evil rural homeowners there to hear what Jimmy Smith has to say about the issue in front of his constituents. He might actually have to take a position, nah never mind, he doesn’t actually have a position, except bent over in front of Bonnie Neeley. Maybe there will be a boat ramp to inaugurate that night.

  8. What the F#*K these folks worry’n about. Soon the sea level will be at 28+ feet so all these lazy fat assed kids will be swinning to and from school. No more need for sports fields,hell we’ll all be playing water polo. Now have you ever seem a fat swimmer? Ann you go girl or the Bon Bon’s devilish little brain child will show you his pitch fork.

  9. Jack Lalanne to testify at next planning commission hearing see sneak preview here:

  10. Certainly children that live on a 5,000 sq ft lot (or less) get a lot of exercise. Mom takes them to grocery store where they run around and they get to pick out their sodas, twinkies, chips, etc. as all that running around has made them hungry. They can play in the street as their backyard is not big enough for their small dog, that is if the CC&R’s allow that.

    Lindsay, Lovelace and Girard all have theirs and they don’t care what the rest of us get. Lindsay is touting fluoride for all too. Wonder what kind of osmosis filter she will buy if she gets her way.

  11. The newspapers should cover this angle. Housing density is a fair question to ask advocates of these asinine plans. To my knowledge only Sef Murguia on the planning commission lives within municipal boundaries, and none of these hypocrits live in high-density digs. Lovelace is the biggest hypocrit of all. I hope third district voters remember this in June. Good story, bug.

  12. By sef murguia you mean Raul the one term night mare from the 2nd dst. Now which numb -nuts allows this jerk-off to have control of anything more involved than a flush toilet?

  13. Miss manners–Easy there. We deleted a comment, which required way more effort than we wanted to expend today! Friends forever and all that, but try not to say things that will get us sued or result in warrants for our arrest should anyone come up missing. We’re far too lazy for any of that shit.

  14. But I just got an inter office meno from Pearly Gates Inc. God to JC,” get to Humboldt and do something about that planning comish.” I’m on my knees ready to reply. So tell me.

  15. This is possibly the funniest shit I’ve ever read in my life. Who are you guys? Or who cares, I guess, as long as you KEEP WRITING.

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