The Church of … CRUST? With Update (and link to not entirely reassuring MySpace page)

Really? How totally … awesome!!

The Times-Standard reported yesterday that little Bridgeville, sad Bridgeville, the tiny town everyone wants to buy but no one wants to own, has a possible new buyer called the Church of Creative Reinvention Uniting Spirituality and Technology.

According to the news report, “The church lists among its goals a ‘showcase of integrated platforms for sustainable living,’ a vision the church thinks can help solve the problems of those in the Sudan region of Africa, and one that is closely aligned with the Bridgeville community’s ideals.”

Unfortunately, the Church of CRUST is having a hard time uniting a $1.3 million real estate transaction with a down-payment—so it’s accepting donations to offset the costs.

The family of the 25-year-old most recent former owner who offed himself shortly after buying the place is said to favor the deal, but they’re still holding out for the cash, or a much better batch of grape Kool-Aid.

Think of the possibilities!! If these guys come to town, we could have battle of the cross-county cults! Finally someone could give those freaks at the Adidam Revelation on Patrick’s Point Drive in Trinidad a flipping run for their money.

What’s not to love??!

UPDATE: Church of CRUST leader Robert Morse himself stopped by the humble Mirror to share his thoughts with both of our readers. Meet your new neighbors here. Enjoy!!

Robert A. Morse said:
April 8, 2008 at 9:54 pm e

Hello everyone!! so I know it does sound nutty, my friends and family secretly think its nutty as well im sure lol…
Let me introduce myself, my name is Robert A. Morse. I am the guy at the head of this organization which is allegedly “nuts” lol..no really… As we are no different than you, we, are merely sick and tired of being tired and well..sick..! as i have stated in other blogs; (http://www.topix.net/forum/source/
eureka-times-standard/T1H15VCF6754UA5PF)
We are neither polygamists, scientologists, nor do we wish to deal in the much prolific “drug trade”..
Truely I do understand the concerns of the local community.. growing up myself in a small closely knit community, with a graduating class of 63, i do understand… as a senior our football team took nor-cal AAA championships…(ok here’s a little quid pro-quo.. class of ‘91*), that experience taught me that i could in fact HELP change the world…
A 10+year veteran of the Bay Area music scene I now value having the opportunity to see life from its many alternate perspectives.
Bridgeville is beautiful.. much like the town i grew up in a river runs through it… growing up a family of campers, hunters and fishermen, Somehow there in that beautiful little town, the simplicity of life was brilliantly renewed. As i stood on Sky’s back “look-out” porch(a bridgeville resident we had the pleasure of meeting during our last visit to Bridgeville..Hi Sky!!)..I knew I wanted to live there..
Our motivation… to prove, by improving the lives within Bridgeville and it’s surrounding community, that lives world wide can be improved as well…
Thank you all for posting your comments.. We look forward to the opportunity to meet and hear all of your concerns, hopes and dreams!!

Regards,

Robert A. Morse
Church of Crust

About these ads

30 Responses

  1. Thank you for blogging about this. With realtors writing letters to the editor proclaiming now is the best time to buy, and folks like this solicitating funds for a downpayment to buy overpriced real estate, it is nice to know I have company thinking this scheme is nuts. Hey maybe the bloggers could pool their resources and buy the town? Imagine free wi-fi and laptops – naw. What will happen to Bridgefest?

  2. I’ll still go and toss crap off the bridge!

  3. We thought those were UFOs….

  4. Out of fairness, I too would have trouble uniting a $1.3 million real estate transaction with a down-payment.

  5. True that, Comber. But that would lead us to believe that perhaps we shouldn’t be in the market to buy a town we can’t pay for.

    But you know. That’s just how we roll.

  6. I remember when Bridgeville was for sale in the 1980′s for $80,000. That was before the new bridge was built. There was a cafe next to the highway that served delicious meals. One time while dining, I got a horrible pain in my stomach. It turned out to be a tic had lodge itself in my navel. The gal at the restaurant helped me try to get it out, but the tic’s head got stuck, so I had to go to the doctor to get it out. Wow, that was a long time ago.

  7. We thought those were UFOs…

    What do you think those UFO’s are made out of? You get extra points for using trashrecycled material

  8. So they’re Poo-FOs?

  9. How about…Pew-FOs?

  10. It is art.

  11. Carol, it’s nice of you to say so, but Pew-FOs are hardly art.

  12. I am liking your idea Auntie Mayme.

  13. Hello everyone!! so I know it does sound nutty, my friends and family secretly think its nutty as well im sure lol…
    Let me introduce myself, my name is Robert A. Morse. I am the guy at the head of this organization which is allegedly “nuts” lol..no really… As we are no different than you, we, are merely sick and tired of being tired and well..sick..! as i have stated in other blogs; (http://www.topix.net/forum/source/
    eureka-times-standard/T1H15VCF6754UA5PF)
    We are neither polygamists, scientologists, nor do we wish to deal in the much prolific “drug trade”..
    Truely I do understand the concerns of the local community.. growing up myself in a small closely knit community, with a graduating class of 63, i do understand… as a senior our football team took nor-cal AAA championships…(ok here’s a little quid pro-quo.. class of ’91*), that experience taught me that i could in fact HELP change the world…
    A 10+year veteran of the Bay Area music scene I now value having the opportunity to see life from its many alternate perspectives.
    Bridgeville is beautiful.. much like the town i grew up in a river runs through it… growing up a family of campers, hunters and fishermen, Somehow there in that beautiful little town, the simplicity of life was brilliantly renewed. As i stood on Sky’s back “look-out” porch(a bridgeville resident we had the pleasure of meeting during our last visit to Bridgeville..Hi Sky!!)..I knew I wanted to live there..
    Our motivation… to prove, by improving the lives within Bridgeville and it’s surrounding community, that lives world wide can be improved as well…
    Thank you all for posting your comments.. We look forward to the opportunity to meet and hear all of your concerns, hopes and dreams!!

    Regards,

    Robert A. Morse
    Church of Crust

  14. So not so much with the Tom Cruise sightings then? That’s probably just as well. But Reverend Morse–come on, man. What’s with the name. Church of Crust? Really?? That’s all you had? We’ll do our best to look past it, because you sound like a completely decent guy. But don’t expect us to act like we’re not just a little disappointed about your no-polygamy stand. That’s a major bummer. But hey. We’re almost thinking about throwing a few bucks your way, simply because it sounds like you folk would make interesting neighbors. Best of luck to you.

  15. Hello everyone!

    Yeah, sorry guys, Senior Pastor Robert Morse looks nothing like Tomcat and won’t be jumping on any couches soon…unless Oprah calls with some cash! lol…but I am a bit surprised that not one of you has asked what kind of music this ministry plans to put out. So…lucky day! Here’s a link to his last project–and a picture!

    http://www.myspace.com/worldwidesickness

    Toastmaster
    Church of Crust

  16. Gee thanks for that Pastor Ravazza!

    Ok so whats with CRUST? Honestly that was my very same response when given the proposed name by the “Toastmaster” Ms Pastor Toni Ravazza. After much debate i decided to take on the challenge of turning the “tongue&cheek” name into an worthy acronym.
    C – creativity (the artistic mind and body)
    R – re-invention (of self and life)
    U – utilizing (the tools given to us)
    S – spirituality (the belief in a moral goodness)
    T – technology (for the betterment of humanity)

    …I know ur thinking… so… thats it??… Yep…8-/
    lol… gotta admit though… not bad for what we started with;)
    Have a good night all..

    regards,

    Robert A. Morse
    Church of Crust

  17. Not too complicated. Thinking it’ll grow on you.

  18. If someone would start a church with the name Untied Dyslexic Church of Dog I would convert.

  19. But then we would have a Dog Running At Large and he doesn’t even come to this blog.

  20. Thank you, Rose! It was a random idea.

    I tried to listen to your song, toastmaster, but the guitar intro was too long.

  21. She’s right, and it’s a little helterskelterish, but maybe that’s your intent.

    Oh well, I think it would be fun to buy a little town like Bridgeville, and fix it all up, keep life simple, warm summers, lazy days… in the right hands…

  22. The right hands are the hands that deliver the cash Rose. We’re in America.

  23. Ya know what? When you use “church” in your organization’s name that immediately brings to mind crackpot fuckwads who think jeebus is coming to save them, no one else, just them.

    If you want Bridgeville, buy the fucking place, but expect constant and caustic ridicule because creepy-sounding church names are the number one tip-off to assholes who think god orders them to [molest] children.

    Officials are right now clearing out another compound full of pedophiles and small-dicked men who think it’s OK to [molest] little girls.

    Not saying your crackpot outfit likes to [molest] little girls, but what the hell, if the history of churches in this country tells us one thing, it’s that churches are where the sick motherfuckers go to ask god’s permission to [molest] little girls, or little boys if you happen to believe that a fucking nazi can speak directly to god, or jeebus, or whomever is in charge at this point.

    Welcome to the county, fuckwads.

    Oh, and as for hoping to hear about all of our hopes and dreams, just promise me this, don’t [molest] the kids, OK?

    Can you promise us that much?

    Go ahead and fuck consenting adults until your cock falls off, just don’t touch the kids.

  24. Uh, okay.

  25. Sorry, Blue. We have only a PG rating, and our raters thought there was a wee bit too much child-[molesting] in that comment. We retained your cocks, dicks and fuckwads, and the general spirit of your remarks, but not so much with the child-[molesting], ‘kay? Maybe you can console yourself with the fact that our new possible neighbors don’t appear to be mother[molesting] Republicans.

  26. I’m with Humboldtblue on this one….like Humboldt County needs MORE sex offenders?

  27. Ok, Ok, Ok! Humbug you are right, we are not Republicans, but as a church we are not allowed to endorse any party over another. We do intend to express our views on many issues we feel are important in politics through our music.

    As for molesting your children, you can rest assured knowing that it will NEVER happen in the Church of CRUST…it would be hypocritical because our t-shirts state:

    Church of Crust
    “We don’t f*@% kids–we feed em!”

    Feedin kids, bread, crust…name making more sense now? We’re simply a group of musicians looking to buy land tax free and do something good with it that will improve the quality of life of the people living there and that everyone will enjoy.

    Just glad GOD hasn’t told me to build an ark…although bringing Bridgeville back to life may take just as long.

    Toast out.

  28. toastmaster,
    good luck….i tried getting a tax-free church exemption too. you will need to be endorsed by an “accredited world religion”……

    i thought that i could just make up my own religion, but the IRS wouldnt go for it….so much for religious freedom in america. if you dont believe in jeebus, you might as well be dead..

  29. We’ve got it. jeebus is relative. http://zeitgeistmovie.com/

  30. Photo: Charlescheap jerseys for sale is starting to change,
    most movie theaters use passive polarization technology.
    Glasses can currently be used in most ofCheap Jerseys For Sale’s plastic framed sunglasses. These sunglasses help in looking into the water clearly in broad day light on water and solid surface. Anyway you look at it from one side, I’m four months ahead of schedule on the knee.

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 54 other followers