Governor could appoint own penis to fill Second District slot

Okay we totally made that up, but it’s somewhat more plausible than the fuck-witted scare tactics being trotted out on another local blog. Please, already. Shut up and trust the voters. Isn’t that what Democrats are supposed to do?

Bugs give themselves fat pay raises

In a 2 – 0 vote, the Humboldt Mirror bugs voted Wednesday to give themselves gazillion percent pay increases. The move came on the heels of a unanimous decision Tuesday by the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors to grant large pay raises to some of the highest paid people in the county. “It’s true that [...]

Shit happens–elsewhere

After a long string of controversial police shootings in Humboldt County, little Del Norte County has one of its own. A 27-year-old Brookings, Oregon, man, who led sheriff’s deputies on a vehicle chase, was shot and killed by a deputy nine days ago on the Hiouchi Bridge. The investigation has revealed thus far that Eric [...]

Blind item

Which shotgun-wielding failed harbor commission candidate is actively working to subvert the will of Second District voters while campaigning for Clif Clendenen? Could it be the one handing out Clendenen for Supervisor fliers and instructing Rodoni supporters to write in Johanna’s name on the ballot? It’s worth noting that we have not endorsed, and will [...]

World’s largest oyster found by world’s biggest dork

A Eureka man who set out to break one world record may in fact have broken several. The Times-Standard reports that after two years of searching, Richard Mesce, a retired Navy pilot, found a potentially record-breaking 13-inch oyster near the Samoa Bridge. The previous record holder was a 12-inch oyster plucked from Chesapeake Bay. While [...]

Eureka Standard mildly amusing today so Humboldt Mirror doesn’t have to be

Who can blog in weather like this? Let that Carson Park Mofo do the heavy lifting today. Hugs!

Gundersen got way more action than previously believed

Former Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen was charged Monday with 14 additional counts of spousal rape, bringing to 24 the total number of rape charges against him. According to documents filed by Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos, Gundersen has officially, albeit illegally, gotten laid twice as often as anyone we know. We’d be [...]

A brief note to new fathers

Imagine how excited you would be if the Super Bowl were played by two teams of naked supermodels. Throw in free chicken wings and all the beer you can drink, and that’s the sort of Mothers Day celebration your wife is expecting tomorrow. Sure, on Fathers Day you’ll still be expected to mow the lawn. [...]

Something new to argue about

Governor Schwarzenegger Appoints Johanna Rodoni District II Humboldt County Supervisor Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger today announced the appointment of Johanna Rodoni to the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors representing District II. “Johanna is deeply rooted in Humboldt County and has been an active member of the local community for years,” said Governor Schwarzenegger. “She is a [...]

Good grief

Ah, the privileges of elected office. You can return phone calls if you feel like it, attend meetings if you want—and “work from home” for weeks at a time. Supervisor Bonnie Neely hasn’t spent a day in her office since Roger Rodoni’s untimely death almost two weeks ago. When asked for an explanation—not that she’s [...]

And now for a little perspective

Yesterday, while news outlets around the world trumpeted reports of 10,000 deaths from the Myanmar cyclone, the most-read story of the day on both CNN and MSNBC was a piece about a team of scientists attempting to fit a bald eagle with a prosthetic beak. Today, we are told, the death toll from the cyclone [...]

Bugs hold Third Annual Undercooked Chicken Contest

It’s that time of year again, friends, and as a public service to both of our readers, the bugs are revealing for the first time their secret recipe for family fun in the sun. Ingredients: 1 chicken (see below) 1 handful of soggy briquets left over from last summer Not enough lighter fluid 1 12-pack [...]

Deepest condolences from Carlos Quilez

April 29, 2008 Dear Governor Schwarzenegger, … I do not believe being the wife of a deceased Supervisor to be a qualification for an elected position. … Sincerely, Carlos Quilez So tasteful of him to have dated the letter one day before the unqualified widow was able to lay her husband to rest. We’re sure [...]