Fat Guy on 44??

While we hope His Fatness is not literally on the 44th president of theses United States, as that might qualify as an assassination attempt, word around town is that one oversized half of our very own Fat Guys has scored an invite to the hottest event in U.S. history.

Sources say James Faulk, Times-Standard assistant editor, father of three, and all-around bon vivant is the proud recipient of a ticket to Barack Obama’s inauguration. How awesome!! Move over, Mr. Chips Goes to Washington. This is Mr. Chips and Dip with a Bucket of Chicken and a Case of Pork Rinds Thrown In for Good Measure.

But James–a word of advice, from us, because we like you: Hold off on that inaugural funnel cake, and maybe show some restraint around the PBR booth. Turns out that you and your 239,999 fellow invitees will have exactly zero toilets available to you during the ceremony. Fortunately, the 3 million or so also-rans who crowd the cheap seats in the back will be able to share one porta-pooer for every 600 attendees.

Don’t know about you, but we think those odds are crap.

Oh, and by the way: From whom did the Fat Guy get his invite?

That, friends, is a secret.

17 Responses

  1. Way to go bugs – Last post, I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself. Now you subject me to crapping myself in laughter. I would suggest that you leave your medical marijuana at home though. Airport security and the feds don’t take kindly to stoners.

  2. I hate crowds.

  3. I think the Reflecting Pool is in big trouble here.

  4. pfffft!

  5. the potty is going to become even more crowded in the obamanation / enjoy the party your great grand kids will still be paying the bill

  6. Would that be the bill Bush ran up, or the bill Obama will need to run up to fix the problems he will inherit? One way or the other, I say let’s get this potty started. Buh-Bye, Bush.

  7. By the way—-fat Bon Bon is so hot she sizzles, like bacon in a hot fry pan.

  8. Who is the lower half of Supervisor Neely’s face, Humbugs?

    Enjoy the trip to Washington, D.C., James! Bon Voyage!

  9. GREG DEBACKER is a LUNATIC . There i said it . Where he gets that , Jerry D. ever said anything bad against him or his house makes him a ” sheer lunatic ” .
    I think Mr. DeBacker needs to go back to his home State . He’s just not making any sense here in , California .

  10. BonBon looks as tho she got a bad batch of botox!
    No one could pay me to be in DC for this inaug event.Whoptdeefuckingdo.Can that area provide enough watermelons and ribs to feed the masses of wanna be Democrats?Come on Pa-lets pack and getter going to the Whitie House!
    I like being paranoid about that District. Too much shit has occurred there, and as mentioned in another comment above, yet more post Xmas pooh to flow from the “chosen ones’” a.. holes. With those odds of pooping in me shorts, I’d take a doggy bag,some towletts,and rubber gloves and rip’er right there in the crowd. Trash receptables are gonna overflo.It’ll smell like Korea in the Summer!
    Totally right this event is going to cost the taxpayers millions.
    Nope-I’m staying right here in my Honey Hole -Humboldt County.This Republican is just gonna watch the fiasco from the other end of the Country. Yahoo!

  11. Rose wrote, “I hate crowds.”.

    So do I, especially something as ridiculous as this inauguration thing. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to go to a mess like that.

  12. Welcome back. You were a day later than I predicted.

    By the way “Celelia” about is the lunatic Jerry Droz. Every other blog in town has him blocked or at least deletes his ravings. You might want to do the same.

  13. That should be “Cecilia” above. Fingers are not working well this morning.

  14. Mmmm … PBR booth !!

  15. Come everybody,add your comments!. Were dying here and the “Titanic PBR in the sky” is sinking due to LOI (lack of interest). Slam a PBR,sit your fat ass to the computer and bla bla bla til the sunrise.Getter on.

  16. Hayduke is the lunatic Chris , Omni 425 & all the other names he uses . Every blog in town has him blocked but , oh well………..he changes his name again and off he goes into cyperspace again .

  17. Ron Kuhnel Says:

    ” I AM A FANATIC BEER GEEK and beer taster. I am rkuhnel on BeerAdvocate and Hayduke on Ratebeer. I am also Hayduke on The Beer in Me, a one year old start-up web site on craft beer where I serve sa the Review Moderator .”

    As you can see , Hayduke admits being the drunk lunatic called , Ron Kuhnel and this obese alcoholic who through his ignorance is anti – marijuana . He states” his fingers aren’t working well this morning ” Well ,
    from all the liquor he gulps down he’s lucky his fingers even work ” .

    …….and don’t tell me i am too dwink to dwive . I only had 7 beers tasted and i am toasted from beer tasting so quit telling me i am dwrunrk .

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