Filed under: Humboldt County Tagged: | Bonnie Neely, clueless, haven't gotten laid in five weeks, Hot to not, Larry Glass, Loretta Nickolaus, Morticia Sopoci-Belknap, shameless and combustible
Employment outlook dims for one Graphics Department staffer
Posted on August 29, 2009 by The Humbug
Best looking politico in recent history? Polly Endert wins by a landslide-
Dear Graphics Department,
Don’t fall for the Siren’s song of K8- remember, she is pure evil.
BTW, how in the world did you get laid five weeks ago?
Virginia’s not bad either.
Which brings up the question, how do bugs get laid?
Feelers up? Looking at pics of local bureaucrats? Time for a novel, bugs. Or a song…
In a Milfy sort of way.
McDaddy, we assure you five weeks is a fantastical underestimation.
Oh Board, please appoint me a milf for a friend
My feelers are tingling, I must to them tend.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Board, please elect me a milf for a friend
Oh Board, please appoint me a hot bureaucrat
I’ve been lusting for Admin since her hair went like that
I even want a bit of that baby fat,
So oh Board, please provide me a hot bureaucrat.
Oh lord, won’t you buy us a night on the town ?
It’s been quite awhile since the power went down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Board won’t you buy us a night on the town ?
Everybody! Thats it!
Oh Turtle. You’re fucking KILLING us. Possibly your best effort to date.
You must be an admirer of the equestrian arts 8:38
The X- Arcata mayor Mamory Grooves had the hottest rack and roundest tush in recent political memory. She was not only crazy liberal but reported to be crazy hot in the sack. That’s mouth watering representation. A “dog” fight between Bon-Bon and Katlow would just be UGLY!
Did we say five weeks? We meant never. Sorry for the mistake.
easy there anon…let’s keep the dogs out of this. Dogs fight in packs. A fight between Bon Bon and……wait a minute……….
You could be right after all.
Nevermind
Oh and turtle….masterful as always!
Masterful? Thank you. It’s an odd talent, really– inspired by witty blog posts from a pseudonymous bug and Bennett Cerf. If you ever stumble across a copy of Houseful of Laughter, buy it.
Heh I detect a dash of Ogden Nash in your poetic hash.
dog and humboldt turtle are very entertaining – funny stuff!
But girlfriend! What about us??
You bugs quack me up, too!
We were going to do something about how Loretta Nickolaus is so hot, but the Graphics Dept. got there first. Damn it!!!!
Get back to work assholes.
You guys crack me up. I don’t read a lot of blogs, but I like to check this one out.
Thanks Carol
I can’t speak for Turtle but unlike a lotta bloggers, here in the doghouse we like to go for the funny bone (with a little meat on it) instead of the jugular. At least most of the time.
Oh and bugs…. don’t fret we love you too. Of course in a totally canine way.
Note to Graphics Dept: We do NOT mean dog style
Jugulars, yum.
Nah, I’m a lover, not a fighter.
I think I learned something today
If bugs, turtles and dogs can get along, then there is no hope for the world according to Kaitlin the green. It would defeat the fundamental enemy context upon which she and the corn man rely, for persuasion. But for you and for the moment, Turtle, I offer this Kristofferson relic…
He’s a poet
(he’s a picker)
He’s a prophet
(he’s a pusher)
He’s a pilgrim and a preacher
and a problem when he’s stoned
He’s a walkin’ contradiction
partly truth and partly fiction
Takin’ every wrong direction
on his lonely way back home.
Now, turtle….see what you can do with that. An operatic Heralda reference might be good.
Just a suggestion
Such awesomeness!!!
Humboldturtle clicks and types his own brand of jive
through a window lit up by the moon.
Sharing some laughter with dog and the bug
using fun to appear we are cool
But I’ve wandered much further today than I should
and Kaitlin Kristofferson doesn’t seem goood…
So, help me if you can I’ve got to get
back to the house at Humboldtia by one.
You’d be surprized there’s so much to be done,
count all of D-U-H-C,
piss off some supes righteously…
Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror and dog…
The anonymous dog doesn’t know what to do,
got a turtle and bug up his nose.
He came to me asking help and advice
but Kristofferson, who would have known?
So I sent him to ask of the bug if he’s there,
how to choose the best tunes to plagiarize…
So, help me if you can I’ve got to get
back to the house at Humboldtia by one.
You’d be surprized there’s so much to be done,
count all of D-U-H-C,
Make tragedy com-edeeee
Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror and dog…
Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror,
back to the ways of doooggggg…
Hmmm I always thought it was DUH
But, the memories will be sweet
the prepositions scattered
’round our toes
Gerunds exhausted
allegiances lauded
‘neath paws, claws and tiny
insect feet
rhetorical litter in our path
miles
miles to go before I sweep
and miles to go before I sweep
Yikes this doggerel may yet unite us
If we can get past the detritus
that noble and anonymous scree
Let’s get back to what will someday be
(You play sax bugs?…I think we’re on to something here. )