Employment outlook dims for one Graphics Department staffer

hot to not

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28 Responses

  1. Best looking politico in recent history? Polly Endert wins by a landslide-

  2. Dear Graphics Department,

    Don’t fall for the Siren’s song of K8- remember, she is pure evil.

    BTW, how in the world did you get laid five weeks ago?

  3. Virginia’s not bad either.

  4. Which brings up the question, how do bugs get laid?

    Feelers up? Looking at pics of local bureaucrats? Time for a novel, bugs. Or a song…

  5. In a Milfy sort of way.

  6. McDaddy, we assure you five weeks is a fantastical underestimation.

  7. Oh Board, please appoint me a milf for a friend
    My feelers are tingling, I must to them tend.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So Board, please elect me a milf for a friend

    Oh Board, please appoint me a hot bureaucrat
    I’ve been lusting for Admin since her hair went like that
    I even want a bit of that baby fat,
    So oh Board, please provide me a hot bureaucrat.

    Oh lord, won’t you buy us a night on the town ?
    It’s been quite awhile since the power went down.
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
    Oh Board won’t you buy us a night on the town ?

    Everybody! Thats it!

  8. Oh Turtle. You’re fucking KILLING us. Possibly your best effort to date.

  9. You must be an admirer of the equestrian arts 8:38

  10. The X- Arcata mayor Mamory Grooves had the hottest rack and roundest tush in recent political memory. She was not only crazy liberal but reported to be crazy hot in the sack. That’s mouth watering representation. A “dog” fight between Bon-Bon and Katlow would just be UGLY!

  11. Did we say five weeks? We meant never. Sorry for the mistake.

  12. easy there anon…let’s keep the dogs out of this. Dogs fight in packs. A fight between Bon Bon and……wait a minute……….

    You could be right after all.

    Nevermind

  13. Oh and turtle….masterful as always!

  14. Masterful? Thank you. It’s an odd talent, really– inspired by witty blog posts from a pseudonymous bug and Bennett Cerf. If you ever stumble across a copy of Houseful of Laughter, buy it.

  15. Heh I detect a dash of Ogden Nash in your poetic hash.

  16. dog and humboldt turtle are very entertaining – funny stuff!

  17. But girlfriend! What about us??

  18. You bugs quack me up, too!

  19. We were going to do something about how Loretta Nickolaus is so hot, but the Graphics Dept. got there first. Damn it!!!!

  20. Get back to work assholes.

  21. You guys crack me up. I don’t read a lot of blogs, but I like to check this one out.

  22. Thanks Carol

    I can’t speak for Turtle but unlike a lotta bloggers, here in the doghouse we like to go for the funny bone (with a little meat on it) instead of the jugular. At least most of the time.

    Oh and bugs…. don’t fret we love you too. Of course in a totally canine way.

    Note to Graphics Dept: We do NOT mean dog style

  23. Jugulars, yum.

  24. Nah, I’m a lover, not a fighter.

  25. I think I learned something today

    If bugs, turtles and dogs can get along, then there is no hope for the world according to Kaitlin the green. It would defeat the fundamental enemy context upon which she and the corn man rely, for persuasion. But for you and for the moment, Turtle, I offer this Kristofferson relic…

    He’s a poet
    (he’s a picker)
    He’s a prophet
    (he’s a pusher)
    He’s a pilgrim and a preacher
    and a problem when he’s stoned

    He’s a walkin’ contradiction
    partly truth and partly fiction

    Takin’ every wrong direction
    on his lonely way back home.

    Now, turtle….see what you can do with that. An operatic Heralda reference might be good.

    Just a suggestion

  26. Such awesomeness!!!

  27. Humboldturtle clicks and types his own brand of jive
    through a window lit up by the moon.
    Sharing some laughter with dog and the bug
    using fun to appear we are cool
    But I’ve wandered much further today than I should
    and Kaitlin Kristofferson doesn’t seem goood…

    So, help me if you can I’ve got to get
    back to the house at Humboldtia by one.
    You’d be surprized there’s so much to be done,
    count all of D-U-H-C,
    piss off some supes righteously…
    Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror and dog…

    The anonymous dog doesn’t know what to do,
    got a turtle and bug up his nose.
    He came to me asking help and advice
    but Kristofferson, who would have known?
    So I sent him to ask of the bug if he’s there,
    how to choose the best tunes to plagiarize…

    So, help me if you can I’ve got to get
    back to the house at Humboldtia by one.
    You’d be surprized there’s so much to be done,
    count all of D-U-H-C,
    Make tragedy com-edeeee
    Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror and dog…
    Back to the days of The Humboldt Mirror,
    back to the ways of doooggggg…

  28. Hmmm I always thought it was DUH

    But, the memories will be sweet
    the prepositions scattered
    ’round our toes
    Gerunds exhausted
    allegiances lauded
    ‘neath paws, claws and tiny
    insect feet

    rhetorical litter in our path

    miles

    miles to go before I sweep
    and miles to go before I sweep

    Yikes this doggerel may yet unite us
    If we can get past the detritus

    that noble and anonymous scree
    Let’s get back to what will someday be

    (You play sax bugs?…I think we’re on to something here. )

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