Babydaddy Edwards to admit paternity?

Edwards, left, and Kerrigan share a passion for politics, integrity and hair design.

Edwards, left, and Kerrigan share a passion for politics, personal integrity and hair design.

As a former aide prepares for publication of a tell-all book, national media outlets report perennial presidential candidate John Edwards has suddenly discovered a possible link between all that sex he had with former mistress Rielle Hunter and her previously baffling pregnancy.

Readers may recall Humboldt’s own Chris Kerrigan, himself no stranger to sexual intrigue, was so enamored of Edwards that he abandoned his position as a Eureka city councilman so he could assist the philanderer’s latest campaign.

After all that, Edwards, whose wife was and is dying of cancer, has finally succeeded in making a name for himself: Whether he acknowledges his paternity or not, he will long be remembered as one of the great schmucks in U.S. history.

23 Responses

  1. “well, she said”….oops, can’t print that. “I heard that her promised her…” Nope, not that either. Lets just add up the points:
    1) lying consistantly and egeriously during a presidential campaign: 42k
    2) purposely deceiving your wife, while she undergoes chemotherapy for her recurrent cancer: 65K
    3) getting caught with the wife of a promient local cardiolgist: priceless!

    Could only get better, if one of them (doesn’t really matter which) was caught in flagrante delicto with [edited].

    [Jo: We appreciate your enthusiasm, but sometimes less is more. Dial it back just a touch, if you would. Thanks.]

  2. Wait, Wait, Wait, I did think of something better…..Young Mr. Kerrigan gets busted for [edited] in the back of [edited] shop.

    [Jo: See above. Let's tone things down enough that our bug asses don't end up in court. Thanks.]

  3. While Larry [edited] Cobb in the corner.

    [lowblow: Verbally artful, but a little much. Thanks.]

  4. Edwards deserves a national douchebaggy award. Maybe we should start one?

  5. All right. Some of this is getting a bit rude even for this blog!

  6. Yes this is a bit much. Leave a little something to the imagination, will you?

  7. Maybe that’s what I meant to say???

  8. No, silly Fred. We meant for the others to leave a little something to the imagination. Sorry we weren’t clear, friend.

  9. Maybe Kerrigan can now admit he and his dim political future are shilling for a pot dispensary.

  10. Hey, I didn’t get the right picture up. What happened?

  11. Oh I know. I forgot my e-mail address. Okay. This should work.

  12. You realize I hope that infidelity is commonly found all along the idealogical spectrum.

  13. Oh totally, Sue. There’s proven widespread bipartisan support for cheating on spouses. But maybe we can agree that what Edwards did goes beyond any of the previously established categories of wrongdoing–fathering a child he denies is his with another woman he initially denied he slept with while his wife dies of cancer. In his defense he says she was in remission at the time. Now that’s just classy.

  14. It would be interesting to hear what Chris Kerrigan thinks of him now.

  15. I’ve been moderated on the mirror my first time out. Great day.
    Who cares what Kerrigan thinks about anything.

  16. Edwards is a plain old everyday piece of shit.

    Sure cheating is a “bipartisan” deal, but Edwards elevated it to new heights and he is just plain disgusting.

    Cheat on your wife of a gozillian years.
    WHO IS DYING OF CANCER (truly a prick here!)
    While you are running for president.
    Father a child.
    Deny that the child is yours.
    Try to get a staffer to say the child is his.
    Funnel campaign funds as hush money to your gal pal.

    Truly a effing asshole.

    Dear John: Stay out of politics you scum.

    Sincerely,
    Aunt Betty

  17. We hate to do it, low, and rarely do, but this thing was racing headlong toward nasty and beyond. We’re tasteless as hell, sure, but we try to stay away from stuff that gets us sued–even when we find the comments amusing.

    As an aside, our records show that it wasn’t actually your first comment, although it was your first comment under that screen name, and it was the first comment of yours we moderated.

    Hugs.

  18. So sad…

  19. Anyone else notice that Shane Brinton looks like a young, even shorter John Edwards. Was Susan Brinton fooling around with John Edwards about 20 years ago, or what?

  20. Shane Brinton and Chris Kerrigan are both pathetic embarrassments to the local Democratic Party. Or in Shane Brinton’s case, I suppose Communist Party would be more accurate.

  21. “our records show”

    Tracking your visitors huh?

    No wonder so few progressives participate!

  22. Yes, and ours is the only website that does so.

    Now. Repeat that three times, and click your heels together.

    There. Don’t you feel better?

  23. Technically, we’re pretty sure Shane has moved away from some of his youthful enthusiasms. Credit where credit’s due and that sort of thing.

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