Where would Jesus shop?

Happy Jesus Home Depot

"A Home Depot in Eureka? Now that's worth coming back for."

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29 Responses

  1. Wow, that orange color is about as ugly as they come

    Atleast they sponsor college gameday on ESPN

  2. Ohhh, so close. Joseph would have loved Home Depot. He was a carpenter.

    Jesus was a jobless, homeless bum who survived on handouts from people who were the real contributors to society. If you want to find Jesus today, head to the Endeavor.

  3. Oh come on now, Jesus could be a greeter at Wal-Mart.

  4. Not okay.

  5. So true. Jesus would make an awesome Wal-Mart employee. Teens would buy gallon jugs of water, being sure to get into Jesus’ check-out line.

    “Hey Jesus, wassup?”

    “Hello, my son. Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    “Thank you for asking Jesus. Now that you mention it, we came to Wal-Mart to buy supplies to rejoice in the Lord. You know, ‘eat your bread with enjoyment and drink your wine with a merry heart,’ like instructed in Ecclesiastes 9:7, but the store is all out of wine. Could sprinkle a little J-magic on these water jugs?”

    “Of course my son.” *twinkle twinkle twinkle* “This is my blood of the covenant. Pour it out for many for the forgiveness of sins, and have a nice day. Please come again. Thank you.”

    “You da man, Jesus!”

  6. Wait, which part of Jesus’ history as told in the Bible are you suggesting isn’t true?

    Jobless? Check.
    Homeless? Check.
    Took handouts of food and water? Check.

    Oh yeah, and..
    Had no money? Check.

    Where would such a person survive in today’s world? The Endeavor.

  7. While the comments being moderated?

    WTF?

  8. Like Jesus would ever go shopping. Come on Bugs, Jesus was a magic man, he didn’t need to shop he just said “abracadabra” and poof, appeared a house with food and a jacuzzi for those nights when hanging with a bunch of sandal-wearing hippy dudes was too much and he needed some ladies to change things up. Plenty of foot-washing going on if you get my drift …

  9. Good point. He did consort with hookers.

  10. Maybe he could get a job as a greeter at the Humbooldt Library then.

  11. JESUS LOVES PIERSON’S and their pricing. Thats where you’ll find da man shopping or at SN, trying to convert da devil,
    robbie da devil jr.

  12. WordPress does its own thing sometimes.

  13. AACK … you people are all going to H-E-Double-hockey-sticks

  14. do you mean Security Nat’l or to Rob’s place?

  15. What would Dean Glaser Do?

  16. Hookers where a normal part of the society. They were not tweekers and heroin addicts like today. Not that that represents all hooker today. Maybe Jesus would have a gardening job at the Playboy Mansion today. Hugh might send him to Home Depot for duct tape or ????? do they sell the little blue bill there?

  17. Jesus would have shopped at the Hebrew Hammer, which was a very popular family owned home improvement center in Galilee about 30 AD.

  18. What sorts of products does a homeless possession-less prophet buy at the Hebrew Hammer?

  19. Before Jesus became a homeless and penniless vagabond preacher, he was a carpenter. The family of Piram owned the Hebrew Hammer. Jesus was fiercely loyal to the Hebrew Hammer because the Piram son who inherited the Hebrew Hammer gave generously to Jesus’ thousand and one social causes. When an evil empire tried to build one of their monolithic chain stores – The Rome Depot – on the shores of the Sea of Galilee circa AD 25, Jesus led the fight against it.

  20. I like how your blog is laid out I have bookmark this look forward to seeing more.

  21. Don’t encourage them.

  22. Too funny

  23. The Rome Depot – now that is funny.

  24. We think we loveth thou a bit.

  25. We don’t need encouragement, just more beer.

  26. Amen to that sister. Hugs!!!

  27. I get it. A year or three after Hum Depot goes out of business, we can turn the building into a giant mega church!

  28. If he can turn water into wine he is welcome in my house any day.

  29. HAHAHAHA

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