1986: Kind of a crap year

Bon Bon Jovi: Living on a prayer.

The space shuttle Discovery blew up. Chernobyl melted down. Halley’s Comet was a major bust, and the Bears beat the living crap out of our Patriots in Super Bowl XX. Closer to home, something called MAXXAM purchased the Pacific Lumber Company, and Bonnie Neely was elected Fourth District Supervisor.

Now PALCO is gone, of course, as is the Soviet Union. The shuttle program isn’t far behind. Somehow the poor Bears ended up with that jackass Cutler, and then there’s the Patriots of which WE SHALL NOT SPEAK.

Which brings us to the Bon Bon.

In the 23 years that she’s been feeding at the electorate’s trough, she has valiantly campaigned against lousy jobs and low wages and given us instead no jobs and no wages.

She helped defeat one Big Box on the Balloon Track, in order to preserve the waterfront for light industrial and harbor-based business. In its place she has given us no industry and no business.

She fought a partial cleanup of the property, and in 23 years there has been no cleanup of any property.

In 1999, she thanked the voters of Eureka for saying no to Walmart because “they had a vision for a better project.” In the 10 years since, she has supported no vision for any project.

She called the previous proposal for the Balloon Track “the laziest, most uncreative use for the coast” she’d ever seen, but has since provided nothing in the way of viable alternatives.

In fact, Neely’s defining quality through these many years has been her startling proficiency at making sure things don’t get done.

But hasn’t she heard?

Just saying no is so 1980s.

43 Responses

  1. Bon Bon Jovi? I might lose urine over that.

  2. You guys are brutal…funny, but brutal.

  3. Shouldn’t that be “living on a prayer”?

  4. Oh hugs, Dynamo. And btw–the Graphics Department is working on that last request of yours.

    *Ahem* Graphics Department….

  5. That’s not brutal. That’s factual.

  6. I’m sorry but I can’t get past the Bon Bon Jovi thing. Hysterical!

  7. It’s like we can almost hear Peter Gabriel singing “In Your Eyes.” The distinct smell of too much hair spray is flooding the senses too.

  8. This request is posing more significant challenges than was initially realized. IT’s NOT DOABLE as INDICATED in the e-mail. BTW, we tried really hard until the beer set in. And don’t forget that this crew has pulled off some near miracles of Biblical proportions.

  9. Randy Gans and co. should had commissioned the graphics department for their latest TV commercial

    Well done guys!

  10. Bon’ Bon looks like her hairdo is the same sported by “Dog the Bounty Hunter” to me.

  11. Aquanet Rules!

  12. No need. The Bon Bon set herself up nicely for that all on her own.

  13. Tiger Rules! Charged with “careless” driving, $140 fine and 4 points on his license. Can’t decide if Tiger in a “snuggie” (coverup – get it?) or a picture of him peaking out from under a rug (cover up – get it). I know you geniuses will decide wisely.
    Oh wait how about him sitting on top of a stream of water from the fire hydrant. That historically has been a comedic image.

  14. You can kiss your Employee of the Month plaque good fucking bye.

  15. The Bon Bon has created a monster that will grow to be much worse than SHE. Her little butt boy markie mark is flexing his wee weeeee today. As his wee grows our property rights will go the way that cliffie appleseeds wee did.

  16. Oops, I meant (swept under the rug – get it?) for the second image. I got too excited.

  17. She is not done yet, she wants Cleary in the 5th.

  18. Bugs, love ya, every time Bon Bon, her butt boy, and clif-fie are mentioned I spiral into an intense depression. Why can’t we get rid of them once and for all? I need a hug.

  19. Sorry DynamoHum. We didn’t understand the magnitude and importance of your request until our tongue lashing by the Humbugs a short while ago. We have mobilized the crew and your wish is our command. Stay tuned for your graphic…..

  20. Not to worry… It’s 5:00 o’clock somewhere. Where’s my PBR (and shot of JD)? I know I left it around here someplace

  21. Totally. Way better. We’ll change it.

  22. Thanks for cutting them some slack DynamoHum. None of them have any formal education, they survive off of public assistance money and routinely make horrible life choices. But we put up with their idiosyncrasies, for the most part, because they are the only ones who are willing to stay up all night and actually look at large resolution images of Bonnie and her lame-ass ilk.

  23. Don’t you mean she wants the “tribe” who gave her a ton of bucks to have that seat? That’s who Cleary is owned by.

    Follow the money friends.

  24. Tiger Woods is the best golfer ever, hands down. Even though the only times I’ve played golf have been when I was high as fuck, with no intention of paying, sneaking onto the course, and “borrowing” some clubs and balls… I appreciate the discipline Tiger puts into his game. It just shows that white boys are inferior at every sport and I commend Tiger for further demonstrating that fact. Now all we need is some more Grant Fuhrs and Jarome Ignilas… and for Ray Emery to step it up and stop being all about tats, boxing masks, and Hummers…

    I’m not even going to try to hate on Tiger Woods even though he is married to some face-scratching, gold-digging, window-smashing, dumber-than-usual Swede.

  25. 23 years and she still doesn’t know the difference between assessor parcels and legal parcels.

    Mark was the real star of today’s how though.

  26. Well, I take that back, Mark takes a second to Denver Nelson. I’m going to need a transcript of his setting the record straight bitch-slapping the PeteNicholsNECdisaster.

    (Nelson in the white hat, Mark in the black with the snidely whiplash moustache.)

  27. you actually listened to him? Shit, he talks incessantly with nary a pause for breath!

  28. Word.

  29. Please don’t take that photo down. I’m definitely beating off to it tonight!

  30. Blanche, they banned me again from heraldo. I tried to reply… I like Larry with long hair too! I have Virginia and Bonnie too in the same pose (help me here bugs).

  31. Tonight’s city council meeting was a true spectacle of bon bon’s true agenda. As our “representative” on the coastal
    committee, again she is for no clean up, no jobs, and no
    growth. First, let’s get rid of Larry (Garth, from Wayne’s
    World).

  32. Rose, with moose and squirrel? And Arkley could play Dudley Dooright!

    As far as 1986 goes, if you can remember it, you weren’t there.

  33. So effing wrong

  34. We’re way grossed out.

  35. Was it not Bonnie that got Tom Conlon canned for actually enforcing the surface mining act on the river bars? If so, she has come a long way!!

  36. It’s really only about being honest or dishonest. Does anyone believe that Bonnie or Mark are honest? If you do I’m sure Rob has some swamp land in La. to sell you.

  37. Not that there’s anything wrong with swamp land. Hell,where would gattors,chiggers,snakes,and Bon Bon wallow in the slime ? CORECTION: where would gattors,chiggers,snakes wallow in the slime ?

  38. Oh, and don’t forget about Clif. Is this guy for real? These are his constituents for Christ sakes. Everyone in Sohum should be calling him up and giving him an earfull.

    At least Bonnie said she would like to see it move forward. Honestly, without her motion, it could have died in the water for lack of 4/5.

    Here is the quote of the week from Lovelace…”…the fate of our industrial timberlands are at stake”. Rich!

  39. Flash! HCD did not certify the County’s Housing Element, which is very serious. Bonnie and Kirk have thumbed their nose at the law for years and now have the consequences dropped in their laps. Unfortunately this will cost Humboldt millions in grant funds. Unfortunately both Bonnie and Kirk refused to listen to the chior of people telling them that this would happen and now we get the shaft because of their arrogance and incompetence.

  40. Got the docs bugs?

  41. Word yo. On it now.

  42. Shit’s a stiring, stinks a risen, the bowls of hell are shaking and it’s only Bon Bon and the Kirkster passing by. The prince of midgets can only dream of such power.

  43. Um… that’s “my” hair and “my” photo… but that’s not my face. What gives?

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