We could fuck up his campaign for half of what she’s making

In this week’s North Coast Journal, Team Gags’ high-priced fake campaign manager learns what reporters do for a living.

Originally thought to be a priceless work of art, this photo turned out instead to be, like its subject, a total and complete fraud.

Arts Gallegos

Inside District Attorney Paul Gallegos’ campaign headquarters — 321 3rd St. in Old Town Eureka — Arts Alive! patrons were exhibiting their native behavior: milling about, socializing, vaguely gazing at paintings while gnoshing delicate mouthfuls of crackers and oily salami. At the counter of the former coffee house, a woman absentmindedly ran her fingers through a basket of campaign buttons while chatting with the volunteers on the other side. In the course of their banter she offered an endorsement as tepid as the San Pellegrino orbiting the room in clear plastic cups: “Regardless of personal feelings,” the woman said blithely, “I don’t think we have another candidate who’s a better option.”

Impassioned, full-throated endorsements have fallen off a bit since 2004, when Humboldt County’s DA fought off a recall challenge bankrolled by villainous Texan Charles Hurwitz’s Pacific Lumber Company. Such an enthusiasm decline is to be expected, argued Gallegos’ campaign manager Natalynne DeLapp. “It’s the nature of the job,” she said after side-stepping some new arrivals. “If you’re in the court system, you’re not going to be happy.” And with roughly 12,000 cases prosecuted each year, that makes for plenty of unhappy voters. Still, as the campaign swings into full gear (phone-banking sessions are now happening four days per week) DeLapp is cautiously optimistic — though with four candidates in the field, she admitted that a runoff is very likely. “It’s gonna be between Allison Jackson and Gallegos,” she predicted confidently.

DeLapp casts challenger Paul Hagen in the role of potential spoiler. The former environmental prosecutor could split the progressive vote, she said before launching into a litany of reasons why he shouldn’t. “I don’t know who told him to run,” she said bitterly. Regardless, Gallegos has more than seven years of experience. “Paul’s grown into this job,” DeLapp said. “We’ve trained him on our dime, [and] he needs to be able to continue.”

Gallegos himself stayed busy pressing palms and greeting supporters as they filed through the room, which was adorned with paintings of ocean waves. DeLapp pulled him from a jovial huddle to speak to a reporter. Yes, he said, a November runoff is likely inevitable. “Numerically you’d have to expect that.” And he agreed that whether his experience serves as an asset or a liability will depend largely on each voter’s experience with the court system. Personal grudges are unavoidable, though. “That’s part of the job,” Gallegos said, “which is why I focus on doing [the job] rather than keeping it.”

– Ryan Burns

26 Responses

  1. Classic! The Graphics Department outdid itself on this one.

  2. Yeah thanks, Peaches. When they sober up we’ll let ‘em know. Hey so we’re experimenting with not allowing nested comments any longer. Some hot chick asked us a while back to discontinue the practice, so that pretty much sealed the deal. If nothing else, it’ll give y’all something new to bitch about. Not that there’s been any particular shortage lately….

  3. Salzman must be lovin this shit. If he wasn’t such a douche , he could be publicly fucking this up himself.

  4. (Instead of just fucking it up behind the scenes.)

  5. I especially love this:

    (Paul Gallegos’ ‘Campaign Manager’ Natalynne) DeLapp said. “We’ve trained him on our dime, [and] he needs to be able to continue.”

    Really? Only a dime?

    Maybe more like a million something, if you calculate the salary, benefits and everything else over the last 7 years…

    And what about
    Zach Bird
    DDA Ed Borg
    Kathleen Bryson
    DDA Worth Dikeman
    DDA Frank Dunnick
    DDA Eamon Fitzgerald
    DDA Heather Gimle
    DDA Paul Hagen
    DDA Nicole Hansen
    DDA Shane Hauschild
    DDA Andrew Isaac
    DDA Allison Jackson
    DDA Harry Kassakian
    Jose Mendez
    Kelly Neel
    DDA Elizabeth Norton
    DDA Murat Ozgur
    Patrick Pekin
    DDA Amanda Penny
    Jeffrey “yougofree.com” Schwartz (no loss admittedly)
    DDA Gloria Albin-Sheets
    Davina Smith
    DDA Tim Stoen (no loss there either)
    Jennifer Strona
    DDA Andy Truitt
    DDA Nandor Vadas
    DDA Rob Wade
    Bill Rodstrom
    DDA Kelly Neel
    PLUS:
    Investigator Chris Andrews
    Investigator Chris Cook
    Investigator Jim Dawson (retired)
    Paul’s secretary Gail Dias
    Office Manager Linda Modell
    Investigator Eric Olson
    Investigator Kathy Philp (retired)
    Investigator Dave Rybarczyk
    Investigator Dave Walker
    PLUS from CAST:
    Child Interview Specialist Gillian Wadsworth
    Child Interview Specialist Laura Todd
    Senior Legal Secretary Melissa Arnold
    Alternate Child Interviewer Jennifer Maguire

    all “trained on our dime.” Funny, now it’s supposed to matter?

    Excuse me?

  6. didn’t electing paul result from the brilliant strategy of “anybody but farmer”? i believe “anybody but bonnie” could net the same outcome. all style and no substance.

  7. I’m willing to risk it.

  8. $3,800 a month just doesn’t buy as much shitty campaign management as it once did.

  9. I’ll bet Salzman’s rolling over in the political grave he dug himself…..

  10. If you really want to go berserk, get the salary numbers
    for the lost DDA’s above, and see how much they were paid. Maybe just the ones PVG hired. Lots o’ dimes gone missing.

    Or, just add up how much Stoen and Yougo were paid after PVG hired them , because that money was purely wasted. Between the two of them, each making top dollar, not one single trial won. Not. One. And the memorable Mendez, Penny, Hauschild, Pekin, all our dimes.

  11. Is that a Gallegos bobblehead?

  12. He’s toast and good riddance, and even better if it happens during the primary. With Allison Jackson, we have someone to vote FOR District Attorney, not just against Gags.

    I swear, I was ready to dump Farmer when this guy first ran in 2002, but after watching the KEET debate back then, I couldn’t bring myself to vote for such a lightweight who knew little about the office and even less about prosecution in general.

    Nothing has changed in eight years, except perhaps he is even less impressive and less knowledgeable.

  13. Ever hear the story about Gags going in to sign up for a judge position, finding out he did not qualify and asking ” what else you got”. Only thing is the we the people got hosed. In Allison
    we have a good candidate that knows the job, has an excellent record, and even the dems should be supporting. With all the attacking Salzburger is doing you know he is running scared on DA, 4th and 5th district supe races. What a lovey place Humboldt would be again without that asshole and his acorn style political garbage.

  14. Even this woman cannot match the damage that the commerical featuring Patty Berg is doing…..have you seen it yet? She has a new hair style, but she still talks like she has a mouthful of marbles and has that rictus grin! Yikes! Talk about something to scare your kids with.

    I am thrilled at the chance to support an actual experienced prosecuter for DA! Go Allison!

  15. Oh yes and this….
    correct me if I am wrong, but “trained him on our dime…” I do believe he was supposed to come to this job fully assembled.

    I do appreciate that the wisdom and sagacity of Tim Stoen was essential to complete his seasoning as a ‘public servant’, however, one would hope that at the very least basic lawyer skills were present.

    Sadly, history has demonstrated that this was not even close to reality for our boy Paul. But, hey, got some quality bud and some excellent waves for our money did we not?

  16. Don’t even get me started on Tim Stoen’s “wisdom and sagacity” – yechhh

  17. Go ahead and criticize Natalynne. But you’re overlooking what’s really important: she is drop-dead gorgeous. The best thing about being a Gallegos supporter is all the babes who hang around his campaign.

  18. We knew there had to be a reason. This one is almost as substantive as Gallegos himself.

  19. Having to look at Allison’s face for four years won’t be easy.

  20. Salzman is sure to fuck this one up, just like he did when Gallegos first ran and again with the recall attempt. And then he fucked up Jill Geist’s election, followed by Chris Kerrigan’s re-election, Larry Glass’ election and then Mike Wilson and Pat Higgins for Harbor. The only one he got right was Peter LaVallee’s and that was only by a hairs breath. I hear he went to Ohio in ’08 and fucked that one up for Obama! He’s just a fuck up.
    Glad he’s not helping Bonnie.

  21. Oh just sign your own damn name for once.

  22. He can’t sign his name Rose. He’s on heraldo spewing how looking at jackson’s face for four years will be bad. How progressive? What a small pecker. Oh yeah, someone who is fair and will actually follow the law.

  23. The expression is a hair’s breadth.

  24. Oh my god, please don’t make us look at Allison Jackson’s face. Please, please, not that!!!!

    Really, all kidding aside, even Humbug has to admit, she’s got a face made for radio.

  25. Capt Buhne seems to disagree 8:00. Ah, swimsuit model was on his video.

  26. Hagen is the best candidate by far.

    Smarter, fairer and more experienced than Jackson and Gallegos put together.

    Jackson has no real following and Gallegos has succeeded in completely alienating most of his former supporters.

    We are all voting for Paul Hagen.

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