Gallegos chokes on latest crime statistics report

Well, this little article seems to have put a damper on the Gag’s notion that crime is way down under his leadership. Oh well, there will be plenty more opportunities to just make up more shit as it gets closer to November.

Humboldt Gothic

Yes, Dynamohum, in truth you could benefit from a PhotoShop class. But so could we!! Regardless, we’re glad the spirit is willing, even if the technical skills are, shall we say, weak. Thanks for sending this along!

SHOCKER: Prog blog reports Larry Glass is right about something else

In a development sure to set the blogosphere ablaze, the Humboldt Herald announced that, once again, Larry Glass was right about something, while everyone Larry Glass dislikes was wrong. This most recent incident comes hard on the heels of previous Humboldt Herald reports that Glass knew something no one else knew, said something no one [...]

In a word: Douchepickle

That is a word, isn’t it? No matter!  Here’s another classic from our good friend the six-term pachyderm courtesy of www.twitter.com/BonBonForever: Now the Marina Center’s gonna be on the Nov. ballot? Resorting to democracy was kind of a bitch move. Oh well. She’s been in office for 24 effing years. You can’t expect her to [...]

How many times can Gags’ campaign lie about a job that never even existed?

Hoo-wee this is getting fun! Not to be left out, Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos’ ridiculously hot “campaign manager” has now officially joined the rest of the campaign staff in lying about Paul’s impressively spotty work history. And how’s that working out for her? Really not all that well. Maybe that’s what you get when you [...]

Gallegos experiences cache-flow problems

Aren’t the internets a wonderful thing?  We certainly think they are. Because now, when an incumbent district attorney lies about his resumé to a local newspaper, then is found out and publicly castigated, so he tries to scrub the lie from his campaign website–the lie never really goes away!! Isn’t that neat? Here’s an example. [...]

Campaign photos we were never intended to see–Part I

Ruh-roh. Not sure how these damning campaign photos ended up in our in-box, but bygones, right? Let’s enjoy! Here’s today’s offering:

Step away from the keyboard! Please!! For us!!!

The Bon Bon’s new Twitter habit is officially out of control! Over at her new account, www.twitter.com/bonbonforever, girlfriend is saying what’s on her mind–and that can’t be good at all for her already nonexistent chances in the November runoff. Below are a few examples of what she probably should not have said after losing a [...]

BREAKING: The Bon Bon takes to the twittersphere!

And she’s not looking all that happy! Humboldt County’s version of Robert Byrd unveiled her latest social media project–the BonBonForever twitter account! No really! It’s her!! At least it sure sounds like her. For example, check out her very first tweet: I spent $113,000 and got 1,455 votes. That’s $77 each! Should be able to [...]

Meanwhile, in the Fifth District, democracy breathes its last

A couple of e-mails purporting to originate from the amply fed bowels of Team Cleary state that the popular District Five candidate is “in a state of shock and disbelief” over his crap election results. Says one: “None of us can figure out how you hire the kind of professional management we had and lose that badly to someone managed by [...]

For a good time call 1-213-202-7777

Uh, yeah. That would be the phone number for the nice Human Resources people at the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office. Why would we list that? So you can call and confirm for yourselves that DA Paul Gallegos lied about his previous work experience to the Times-Standard’s Thadeus Greenson. In a May 22 article Greenson wrote: After [...]

O Captain, our captain: Way to show some sack

Despite our fake rivalry with Eureka Now’s Ryan Hurley, all of us here at Mirror HQ want to give the former Capt. Buhne big ups for the fearless and frequently hilarious campaign videos he has produced over the past few months. It’s easy for anonymous bloggers to throw stones at the temple, safely ensconced as we are behind [...]

Funky Cold Desperation

After getting a lock on the grow scene folks’ vote, DA hopeful Paul Gallegos is now pandering to the people who listen to gangster-turned-crappy-rapper music. “Sometimes, some things that don’t normally sound like a good pairing end up being fantastic. Examples: a 24-hour restaurant that serves both chicken and waffles, a depressant like alcohol and [...]

Admittedly, no one ever said he was smart

Or honest, for that matter. Over at the Humboldt Herald, the absence of both qualities is once again on proud display, today’s example being a hysterical headline screaming  about “abused babies” being used as “political footballs”–something only Heraldo appears to be doing. At issue is a horrific child abuse case current DA Paul Gallegos botched [...]