Posted on October 30, 2010 by The Humbug
Hey. No one ever said maintaining a monopoly would be cheap.
After weeks of declining to state publicly his opposition to the Marina Center, Third Ward city council candidate Ron Kuhnel made his stance refreshingly clear when he accepted a $2,000 campaign contribution from the man who stands to gain the most from the project’s continued obstruction.
Bill “the Big Hammer” Pierson previously ponied up two large for First Ward incumbent Larry Glass who, when he’s not lying about his support for the project, studies some of the finer points of American history and tells everyone how he’s chased around town by rich people in Cadillacs, or some such shit. Who knows. Fucker’s nuttier than squirrel crap.
Regardless, so much for the ol’ $500 contribution cap, yes? Apparently the only contributions these two are interested in limiting are their opponents’.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Bill Pierson, Larry Glass, nuttier than squirrel crap, rich people in Cadillacs, Ron Kuhnel | 14 Comments »
Posted on October 28, 2010 by The Humbug
"Someone bring Abe Lincoln back. I swear this guy's eyes are following me around the room."
Remember our old friend Jeffrey Schwartz? The boob who practiced law as http://www.YouGoFree.com before carpetbagging his bad self up here and taking up space in the offices of our very own Humboldt County District Attorney’s Office–where he, without actually trying cases or any of that employment-related nastiness, managed to get himself paid more than anyone else in the office, before deciding he was made for even better things and becoming a part-time hostess at Sizzler?
Yeah we made that last part up, but what fun we had doing it!
Anyhoo. This same Jeffrey Schwartz wrote in a letter to Paul Hagen supporters some of the most intellectually dishonest shit we think we’ve ever read, including equating a vote for challenger Allison Jackson to a vote for mega-stores, clearcutting and nuclear power plants, none of which Jackson is believed to support, and none of which actually falls under the purview of a district attorney anyway.
The mild-mannered Hagen–fittingly–went nuclear. His must-read response to Schwartz, from the Arcata Eye website, describes Gallegos as “congenitally unqualified” for the position and lists just a few of the many ethical lapses that have defined the Gallegos administration.
One of our favorite bits comes toward the end:
Based on my direct personal experiences, my knowledge of Paul Gallegos’ utter lack of what I consider true ethics, courage and honesty, as well as his now-proven political campaign-trash tactics, I believe these things fundamentally disqualify his being a progressive. Or a district attorney.
Yeah. That’s gonna leave a mark.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Allison Jackson, District Attorney, genitally unqualified too (but that's another story), Jeffrey Schwartz, part-time hostess, Paul Gallegos, Paul Hagen, www.YouGoFree.com | 61 Comments »
Posted on October 25, 2010 by The Humbug
- Democracy No! Progs tell Eurekans their votes don’t matter.
When opponents of Measure N were unable to fund and field a team, they decided that instead of participating in any sort of exchange of ideas they would simply tell Eurekans that voting to rezone the Balloon Track would be meaningless.
Tom Peters did his best to make the Progs’ case against democracy in a letter to the editor of the Times-Standard, in which he called the measure “a popularity contest bought and paid for by Security National.”
Which makes it quite a bit more pallatable, in our view, than the popularity contests known as Measure T, Measure F and Measure J, all of which were actually bought and paid for with public funds–which, from what we hear, are, like, in short supply or something.
But remember those ballot measures? Measure T in 2006 promised local control, and instead got us a bunch of local legal bills to defend the piece of shit. Measures F and J from 2008 promised to get military recruiters out of public schools in Arcata and Eureka, but instead got Eureka’s City Attorney pulled off of real work so she could work on this snipe hunt instead. Not to mention the thousands of dollars it cost to put the measures on ballots in the first place.
Opponents of all three said from the start they would never pass consitutional muster, and indeed they didn’t. None of which stopped every prog in town from telling us it was our democratic duty to vote for them anyway.
So when Tom Peters tries to get his moral indignation on and tell us “SN must go through the regular lawful process like everyone else,” we have but two things to say. One, this is a lawful process, moron. And two, if SN went through the same process as everyone else, the only difference we see is that the taxpayers of Eureka would be picking up the tab instead.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Democracy No!, Measure N, Security National, Tom Peters | 31 Comments »
Posted on October 20, 2010 by The Humbug
Imagine our happiness the other day when we returned to the door of the plush offices we call Mirror HQ to find a brochure asking us to help re-elect our good friend Paul Gallegos. It was like effing Mardi Gras, only without all the Catholicism.
Paul Gallegos with another example of artistic borrowing.
The brochure itself is classic Gallegos. In it he takes credit for a lot of things he hasn’t actually done and promises to do a bunch of other things he’ll never actually do. The usual.
But our very, very, very most favoritest part was the photo on the back with him posed in front of a portrait of Abraham Lincoln. Because, really. When we think Gallegos, we think the 16th president of these United States who emnacipated the slaves and never told a lie, not even a little one like to his wife or something about, say, a certain surfing companion, ever. That’s just the kind of reputation Paul Gallegos has.
Our souls were stirred! We were having a moment. And just like that the Graphics Dept. had to come along and ruin everything.
Those experts of crap Photoshop work took one look and knew right away that the Honest Abe pic was as crap as crap can be.
But anyhoo. Little known fact: His artistic license is valid in more states than his law license. True story.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Abraham Lincoln, Carol likes him and that's all that matters, Paul Gallegos, Pinky and the Brain, the latest post on our lame blog | 51 Comments »
Posted on October 15, 2010 by The Humbug
Re-elect Larry Glass, because entrusting our future to a semi-literate bumpkin has worked out brilliantly so far.
As support for Eureka Ward 1 challenger Marian Brady continues to grow, some are wondering whether the political aspirations of the great Larry Glass may have hit the skids.
How could that be? It seems like only yesterday he was voted the county’s most popular public official. Although by stupid people. Who never met him.
But after his rental ordinance debacle, his breathless support for massive rate hikes, his hopelessly convoluted position on the Balloon Track cleanup, his public–and private–displays of immaturity and his general boorishness, Brady might just teach Glass a lesson he sorely needs.
While it’s far too early for a eulogy, just the thought of a Glassless city council has us waxing nostalgic for 2006 when the CREG spokesman was gearing up for his first run for office.
That’s when he said fun stuff like this: ”We think there’s a better way to provide good jobs without handing over control of our future to wealthy elitists.”
Four years later, he still hasn’t figured out what it is.
And this: “It’s time for our City Council to follow the leadership of Peter LaVallee and demand that cleanup” of the Balloon Track.
Four years later, he’s still doing everything he can to stop it.
But our absolute favorite is this: If the Marina Center were built with a Best Buy, Glass said, “I’d be like Davy Crockett at the Alamo.”
Four years later, we wonder if anyone’s told him how that whole Alamo situation ended.
Oh well. Maybe next month he’ll find out.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Balloon Track, Davy Crockett at the Alamo car-rental counter, Larry Glass, Marian Brady, Marina Center, the county's most popular douchebag | 43 Comments »
Posted on October 12, 2010 by The Humbug
DA Dodo and his grow hos sing to the choir in Neely Country.
Who knows where the Graphics Dept. finds this shit, but it looks to us like it could be a shot from a fundraiser–for Bonnie Neely.
As John Osborn notes on the NCJ Blogthing, Ms. Neely finally managed to round up some campaign cash from inside Humboldt County–particularly the southern part thereof.
While one might expect a District Four race in Eureka to get a big ho-hum from SoHum, this particular District Four race is generating a lot of–shall we say–buzz.
Consider the following list of donors and donations from Neely’s most recent filings:
Trim Scene Solutions
J Burger Enterprises
A Patrick Woods
Sylvandale Gardens, Inc.
Just Rent It
Acme Rocket Bike
Sandra Collier Clark
Molly Hickey Singway
Redwood Garden Supply
We’re sure there’s nothing weird about this. It couldn’t possibly be related to the Bon Bon’s curiously belated interest in the issue of marijuana legalization, could it?
Nah. Probably all of these people are just avid raw milk enthusiasts.
(“Trim Scene Solutions”? In Redway? Really?)
But one insider remains mystified. “I didn’t know she had so many supporters in SoHum,” said he. “Too bad she doesn’t have as many in the Fourth District.”
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: avid raw milk enthusiasts, Bonnie Neely, Graphics Dept., grow hos, Paul Gallegos | 11 Comments »
Posted on October 6, 2010 by The Humbug
Photo credit to Kevin Hoover, just to be on the safe side.
Filed under: Humboldt County | 41 Comments »