This just in from the hollow victory department

Sequoia Springs Senior Living is holding a sweepstakes that will award one winner with free room and board for a year.

Like in a Senior Living facility. In Fortuna. With old people and the faint but inescapable smell of Lysol and urine.

No, that’s the prize.

Not exactly a million dollars and a trip around the world. We wonder if even Fred will enter this one.

The news release goes on to state that two runner-ups will be beaten with pimp-sticks until tender, then cut neatly in half and served with a side of canned peas.

Okay, we made that last part up.

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23 Responses

  1. I guess you would find this article funny if you never have to face your mom or dad going into a care facility.
    How sad and sick and twisted people have become.

    May you never know the emotional pain and financial hardships that go along with putting your parent in a home.

  2. Hee Hee Hee! Excellent post. Complete snark without even a hint that the Bon Bon has been entered in this contest and that the aforementioned facility would be a truly wonderous place for her to spend her retirement years.

    TM King, please unbunch your panties, Sequoia Springs is actually a rather posh address, particularily when you stack it up against the competition. Can’t wait to see what Fred has to say about this.

  3. Wah, wah, wah, TM King. It’s a satire blog. If you want someone to dry your tears you probably shouldn’t have come here.

  4. Hey does anyone here know how to spell “doomkopf”?

  5. No, but I can spell Schistkopf.

  6. You folks might call it “satire”.
    Just sounds sick and sad to me.
    Cold, tiny people who would find this amusing.

  7. I think they do the best they can here at the Mirror.
    I mean, what do you expect? It’s right wing comedy. Only a few right wingers are very good at comedy, Dennis Miller, Rush and Beck come to mind. Without a college education, Dennis Miller isn’t very funny and with a college education, Rush and Beck aren’t very funny.

  8. Are you kidding me? This is the funniest blog in Humboldt. Hands down. Who else is trying to be funny? People compare it to the Herald as its “nemesis,” but honestly, it’s apples and oranges. Heraldo attempts humor, but Bug IS funny. Some of it’s tasteless and harsh, but so is life. And so are many of the political and elected around here.

    I’d hate to not have it around.

  9. Oh, you lefties are so smart. Tell me Tom is your degree in plant relationships or under water basket weaving. Fucking elitist progys. Keep your bullshit thought at H blog.

  10. Tom’ so nice of you to check in, especially since I know how very busy you are, helping Jane find some acceptable places to shop, recycling Larry Glass and Bonnie Neely signs, preparing your sack cloth and ashes for the ground-breaking at the Marina Center.

    Jan; get some midol and a life, in that order.

  11. I so fucking love you Josephine! And Tom, blow me. I am a dem who loves this blog because it IS funny! I love to make fund of the elitist whack jobs that thought they hijacked my party. And just to part in love and jest…fuck you too!

  12. Dear friends,

    Can’t we all just get along?

    Love,
    the sick, sad, cold, tiny Bugs.

  13. No bugsy. We can’t all get along. The progs are too demented not to make fun of. And they melt down when they are made fun of. Sooooooo.

  14. Well. Tom’s a good guy. We frequently disagree with him, but he listens and unlike many of the rest of them at least believes the shit he says.

    It’s okay to have people here who disagree. That’s part of the fun. Hell, we disagree with a lot of the comments. But if we chased away everyone who saw the world differently, this would become one more blog echo chamber, and aren’t there enough of those already?

  15. Ohhhhh you cold hearted sick sad bugs.
    I can only shake my head, actually. Know why? Because THIS is what “business” is all about.
    And Sequoia Springs is pretty darn posh and can do with a little tongue and cheek poking at. It won’t hurt ‘em.
    It IS a little odd to have a sweepstakes for something like this. I mean, wouldn’t that be like St. Joseph’s advertising a “Half Off” sale?
    “Have your surgery for half off the retail price! Just schedule it between….”
    Sorry. I couldn’t resist.

  16. I gotta say Jennifer, totally dig your political views, but your writing is trash. My wife made the mistake of buying one of your books.

    May I offer some advise- if you are going to write a steamy romance novel, don’t include your photo in the the book unless you look the part.

    Another strike against the “buy local” movement

  17. EB is an old sour puss!

  18. Wait–Jen writes trash? Ho-ly shit! Just when we thought we couldn’t love her more than we already do!

    Get some, girlfriend!!

  19. Ok, bugs, let’s tack into the wind

    Larry is decent guy, He is smart and resolute within the narrow flashlight of his vision. On his own, he makes a hell of a lot of sense. When he is a part of the strange progressive picnic, he brought ants to the table.

    I guess there is a downside to being the flavor of the month, champion of the wannabe “progressive majority.”

    While I don’t agree with him much, I respect him. He showed up for many things. I just think he was more about making a statement than he was about making a difference. That’s way too bad because he could have.

    The single minded movers and shakers are trying to figure this one out. They won’t. Nope, not ever.

    If Larry had embraced the interests of whole community instead of his little cabal of political arrogance, I think he could have been around for a good long time.

    I do not mourn his passing. I mourn the difference he could have made if he had the backbone to stand up to the singularly minded status quo.

    There is a lesson in this. The object of the game is to go beyond the game.

    Larry missed that part.

    He brought a lot to the journey, he just never understood the territory

    .

  20. Larry only listens to those who drink from his cup. If you don’t agree with his position he labels you as the enemy. This was his biggest mistake and most likely the reason the voters wanted someone new to represent them.

  21. Insightful and well reasoned, dog and JG. Dog you’re spot on about Glass never getting beyond the game. It was all game, all the time with him. What a waste.

  22. Larry’s biggest problem was that he could not play the game with Arkley. He tried very hard, but could not compete. In the end, it cost him the council seat.

    Good riddance

  23. Its Unanamous then…

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