We realize journalists are underpaid, but when we see headlines like this we wonder if they’re underpaid enough

And John Driscoll's 5th-grade teacher wishes she could roll over in her grave.

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26 Responses

  1. Ha! I wondered who else would notice that. Circumnavigation is a complex concept (for idiots).

  2. Who is more stupid? Driscoll or…..??

  3. …take the long way home.

  4. Is Driscoll too tough on the Marina Center? Doesn’t print the Security Natonal press releases verbatim?

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

  5. There there, Anonymous. Nothing to cry about. The only thing that really stands out about Driscoll’s reporting is how uniformly awful it is.

  6. Bwah hah ha that’s awesome.

  7. As long as the Muslim population remains around 1% of any given country they will be regarded as a peace-loving minority and not as a threat to anyone. In fact, they may be featured in articles and films, stereotyped for their colorful uniqueness:
    United States — Muslim 1.0%
    Australia — Muslim 1.5%
    Canada — Muslim 1.9%
    China — Muslim 1%-2%
    Italy — Muslim 1.5%
    Norway — Muslim 1.8%
    At 2% and 3% they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs:
    Denmark — Muslim 2%
    Germany — Muslim 3.7%
    United Kingdom — Muslim 2.7%
    Spain — Muslim 4%
    Thailand — Muslim 4.6%
    From 5% on they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. They will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature it on their shelves — along with threats for failure to comply.
    France — Muslim 8%
    Philippines — Muslim 5%
    Sweden — Muslim 5%
    Switzerland — Muslim 4.3%
    The Netherlands — Muslim 5.5%
    Trinidad & Tobago — Muslim 5.8%
    At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islam is not to convert the world but to establish Sharia law over the entire world.
    When Muslims reach 10% of the population, they will increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions (Paris — car burnings, etc.). Any non-Muslim action that offends Islam will result in uprisings and threats (Amsterdam — Mohammed cartoons).
    Guyana — Muslim 10%
    India — Muslim 13.4%
    Israel — Muslim 16%
    Kenya — Muslim 10%
    Russia — Muslim 10-15%
    After reaching 20% expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings and church and synagogue burning:
    Ethiopia — Muslim 32.8%
    At 40% you will find widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks and ongoing militia warfare:
    Bosnia — Muslim 40%
    Chad — Muslim 53.1%
    Lebanon — Muslim 59.7%
    From 60% you may expect unfettered persecution of non-believers and other religions, sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels:
    Albania — Muslim 70%
    Malaysia — Muslim 60.4%
    Qatar — Muslim 77.5%
    Sudan — Muslim 70%
    After 80% expect State run ethnic cleansing and genocide:
    Bangladesh — Muslim 83%
    Egypt — Muslim 90%
    Gaza — Muslim 98.7%
    Indonesia — Muslim 86.1%
    Iran — Muslim 98%
    Iraq — Muslim 97%
    Jordan — Muslim 92%
    Morocco — Muslim 98.7%
    Pakistan — Muslim 97%
    Palestine — Muslim 99%
    Syria — Muslim 90%
    Tajikistan — Muslim 90%
    Turkey — Muslim 99.8%
    United Arab Emirates — Muslim 96%
    100% will usher in the peace of “Dar-es-Salaam” — the Islamic House of Peace — there’s supposed to be peace because everybody is a Muslim:
    Afghanistan — Muslim 100%
    Saudi Arabia — Muslim 100%
    Somalia — Muslim 100%
    Yemen — Muslim 99.9%
    Of course, that’s not the case. To satisfy their blood lust, Muslims then start killing each other for a variety of reasons.

  8. Hey, gang, if we go THIS way it’s shorter!!!!!!!!!!!
    Seriously, are we sure Driscoll knows the Earth is roughly spherical?

  9. Oh shit ponder z, you just stepped in it. Watch the shit storm start now.

  10. Reporters don’t write headlines. In the antiquated dead-tree realm of newspapering, a desk editor gets the story and has to fit it into the hole created by whoever dummied up the page. Said desk editor then has to write a headline that fits.

    I have to admit I didn’t see a problem with the headline until I read Dork’s comment. And I worked in journalism for more than 20 years.

    On the web, because there is no space restriction, the editor will just use the reporter’s suggested headline. I looked and found the web version of the story. The headlline reads: “Watching Egypt half a world away,” which is what Driscoll submitted I’ll bet. It was the desk editor who added “from over,” is my guess, perhaps cuz he/she had to make it a four-deck head.

  11. Fuck you Bird the TS fired your ass and Rosso is a great source as to why. OMFG.

  12. C’mon, Andy. You know there’s no joy at all in picking on some nameless copy editor. Just go with it, will you?

  13. Too awesome.

  14. I agree with Andrew (oh, God, is this twice in one week?) reporters DO NOT write the headlines, they usually hate the people who do, for exactly this reason. And they generally aren’t too fond of editors either, because so often so much of their story gets left on the cutting room floor, often changing the entire focus of a story and leaving them to explain to people who are quoted out of context.

  15. Who cares who did it? It’s awesomely stupid.

  16. I would never allow a mistake like that. As a Silicon Valley insider, and a hundred and some thousand dollar a year former major market reporter, I can tell you I know what it takes to succeed in business and how far half a world is, in miles, kilometers and furlongs. In fact, I wrote a little song about it that Judy and I are going to surprise everyone with the next time things aren’t going our way. Put that in your brilliant mobile app and smoke it, assholes.

  17. Tom should ask John if he has stupid readers.

  18. Hey and speaking of Tom, little humbug, what’s your take on the management switcheroo over at the North Coast Journal?

  19. Hank’s deep-seated fear of being considered pro-Arkley hindered his objectivity, and I think at times he was unable to see past his own ideological biases. But for all of that, he was funny and obviously enormously intelligent, and he had a very broad sense of Humboldt County, if from a very narrow point of view.

    Tom, on the other hand, appears to have spent much of the last few years cultivating a keen interest in Tom, and seems genuinely surprised that the rest of us don’t care about his brief stint here 30 years ago with his ex-wife and paid-for house, or the long list of all the things he knows, or his singing career or pirate impersonations or any of it.

    Where Hank listened, Tom won’t shut up. Where Hank recognized and encouraged the intelligence of his staff, Tom participated–gleefully, by all accounts–in what was essentially a hostile takeover of the NCJ’s newsroom.

    In Tom we have all of the same biases with none of Hank’s humanity. What I think, ultimately, is that Judy Hodgson just went to great lengths and considerable expense to shit down her own throat.

  20. Spank!

    I usually come here just to argue, but when you’re right you’re right.

  21. Damn, Bugs. From, “he was funny,” on, I think you’ve nailed it.

  22. You’ve heard of Bumfuck Egypt? Well this is dumbfuck Egypt.

  23. I didn’t even waste time reading the article when it came out.

    No decent story has come from the T/S in a very long time. Try or not they are just lame. They can copy some tidbits from a press release but that’s about it.

    Investigative reporting? No way. How about an article about how much the Eureka chief of police has cost the city! Cost from investigations, legal fees, car accidents, law suit pay offs, lost work productivity from investigations, and bad morale?

    An article on how much money Pierson has donated to keep Home Depot out of Eureka.

    A follow up article on former Eureka Councilman Chris Kerrigan, what he is doing now? Has he finished college? What are his plans for the future?

    There are so many possible stories to chose from.

  24. Today’s paper has, once again, the “Squireses”.
    shouldn’t that be “Squires”?

  25. QP – it’s awkward as hell, but adding es to pluralize proper nouns that end in s is correct Associated Press style, which most newspapers use. I just checked by battered old AP style guide to make sure.

  26. 9:06 has a good idea. An article on an ex city council member, his recent hairstlye, involvement with “medical” marijuana, and how it all relates to an ex supervisor. Enquiring minds want to know, but we end up with the same regurgitated AP stories posing as news.

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