Blue Lake Casino teaches whitey important principles of natural selection

$ Milk Money $

Great news, crazy people!! It just got even easier for you to become a burden to society.

Unpasteurized milk is now for sale at the Blue Lake Casino Play Station 777 convenience store, despite reams of scientific data linking viruses, parasites and bacteria from “raw” milk to illness and death.

The sale of unpasteurized milk is illegal in Humboldt County. The Blue Lake Rancheria, as a sovereign nation, is not subject to the ban.

Rancheria spokeswoman Jana Ganion characterized the decision to sell the milk as “just the latest example of the Blue Lake Rancheria’s rich tradition of giving.”

Ganion explained,

The council decided to offer raw milk because many of the tribal members were raised on raw milk, and they wanted to make it available for those who wish to drink it.

For the same reason, she said, Play Station 777 has begun selling 40s of Steel Reserve to 8-year-olds.

Ganion went on to say that the tribe operates a casino to teach young adults remedial math and improve the hand-eye coordination of seniors on fixed incomes.

But the spokeswoman bristled when asked if the Rancheria would take responsibility for the expenses and public health consequences associated with consumption of unpasteurized milk. The tribe, she said, would provide a “complete package” of support, including bingo discounts, drink coupons, and a complimentary trip through Alice’s Buffet.

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56 Responses

  1. This oughtta bring the crazies out of the woodwork. Like hanging raw meat next to a wasp nest.

  2. I don’t want to tell you your business, mighty humbug, but allow me to humbly suggest that Alice’s Buffet may more often be the cause of than the solution to bacterial outbreaks.

    Trust me on this.

    Really.

  3. This is so damn funny.

    I wonder if Bob Doran’s wife drinks raw milk.

  4. “because tribal members grew up drinking raw milk’

    Oh, that’s right. The indigenous people of Blue Lake were renowned for being cow herders …oh, wait a minute. Cows were introduced with the Europeans in the mid 1850′s? There were no dairy cows on the reservation and they bought pasturized milk like everyone else at the Blue Lake Market? Oh nevermind.

    The truth is, McAfee found his moo-chinger. And, true to form, the odds are with the house. Ramsey gets more bucks into casino hands, and if you get sick, look forward to presenting your case in federal court because the tribe is sovereign.

  5. If she doesn’t, I hope she starts drinking it and serves lots of it to her dumb ass husband. Maybe drink it with some raw cookie dough too for a gastronomically fun filled evening.

  6. What’s with your obsession with my wife? Are you permanently offended because she thinks you should have access to affordable health care?

  7. No we are permanently offended by both hers and your stupidity Bob. Now go drink your milk like a good troll.

  8. Bob, we’re all very ambivalent about you’re wife’s stand on affordable health care. She’s entitled to her two cents.
    We do take permanent offense to your lack of journalistic ethics that allows you to lie to people and hide her identity so that you can craft and article that you find more persuasive.
    But now that Tom’s running the show, you’ll be back writing slanted news and misrepresenting the facts.

  9. Abe, Bob supports plagiarism too. You forgot that tidbit. I cannot tell a lie. Bob you just plain suck. Maybe you should try flipping burgers because writing something that is honest and credible is beyond your reach.

  10. You assholes don’t get it. We Blue Lake natives were milking and drinking any raw milk we could get from all of the Earth’s creatures. Raw deer and elk milk is the best.

    In fact, one of the rites of passage to become a man is to milk a lactating bear mother.

    Times have changed. Now we prefer to buy in cartons at the gas station.

  11. I’m permanently amused by your usage of her to further your own political agenda. Do we need to review your utter lack of journalistic ethics?

  12. Oh sorry, Abe. I should have read your comment before restating its high points.

    So yeah, Doran. What he said.

    Loser.

  13. Yeah Bob if you didn’t want your wife in the middle of things, you shouldn’t have put her there.

  14. Bob, my name says it all.

    Although I realize names are kind of a sore subject with you.

  15. I think a review of Bob’s history of demonstrating his utter lack of ethics is in order. Lest anyone ever forget!

  16. Bob, let me offer you some advice: You’re seriously outnumbered here.

    And our obsession with your wife isn’t nearly as great as your ego and need to come here to attempt to defend your serious lack of ethics. “Journalists” who do those sorts of things at real newspapers lose their jobs and careers.

  17. Hey impostor! Please stop commenting using my name. There wasn’t such a thing as identity theft when I was president.

  18. Anyone comes near my teats and they’ll pull back a bloody stump.

  19. Well there obviously is some type of Id theft now. If someone tries to use my name Lactating Bear mother’s teat protection will be the last of their worries. Hey Bob, is it true that you have no penis? Bummer for your wife man.

  20. So Bob’s wife has penis envy? Hey Ben, hide the family jewels from Doran’s wife.

  21. I don’t see what all the animosity is about. It’s just raw milk.

  22. I have “known” Bob’s wife and believe me she has no penis envy.

  23. There is no animosity regarding raw milk. There is just admiration of natural selection. Hey Dynamohum, were you on top or on the bottom. Inquiring minds want to know.

  24. Hey, will Playstation 777 open a chinese buffet now to go with that raw milk? I hear that the Casino got a great deal on Japanese spinach too specially imported for a one of a kind recipe of spinach pie guaranteed to have you glowing in the dark in no time.

  25. I think the issue is the tribe citing some bullshit tradition as a way to make a bunch of money while assuming none of the liability for putting public health at risk. Sovereignty shouldn’t be used to evade responsibility.

  26. all it will take is one, just one child getting sick from raw milk and Hello! trouble for the Soveregin Nation of Blue Lake. Also, waiting for the progs to trumpet this as a bold move for self-determination and bad food choices. I guess they are too busy trying to get the midget on the CCC.

    Since Chris has the pot industry covered, I guess the Bon-Bon will take up the dairy cudgel as her next ‘big thing.’ I fully expect to see her quaffing a glass on a podium next to Marky!

  27. Drinking raw milk is a double edge sword for the BonBon. E coli can easily kill the elderly.

  28. I just read we’re going to bomb Libya. Yeah, that will fix the problems in this country. Sorry for being off topic!

  29. Just so you know, we don’t drink milk. You’ve been watching too much TV.

  30. Uh, that guy before me is lying. We drink milk. That’s all we drink. Raw, rancid and curdled milk. All the live-long day.

    Thank you for your time. Now I must go attack Charlie Sheen.

  31. This may be a bit off-topic too, but I am glad we’re bombing Libya with cruise missiles. I heard that they go bad after a few years.

  32. If you want to have a good time, Google “Charlie Sheen Winning Recipes” and behold pure comedic genius (super high on cocaine.)

  33. What did Bob Doran do NOW?

  34. WINNING!

  35. I love all of you. So much. What did we use to laugh about before the Bugs came along?

  36. Don’t know about you Girlie,but before the bugs came I laughed at Larry the Cable Guy.

  37. I was the first to build my own rocket ship to Cassiopea using only my mind tools.

  38. You have to be fucking killing me.

  39. Look out, Bugsy. You just called bullshit on the tribe. They don’t usually allow that. Big fragile egos and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. No back-talk allowed, just get in line and march in step or Ramsey will find some reason to cut your money off. As for you, they’d burn down your house if they thought they could get away with it. That’s who you’re dealing with here. A group of savages that have bought a thin veneer of respectability with the money they take from suckers, like the people who think this milk will cure their cancer.

  40. Qu’est-ce que tu fais ? Nom d’un nom.

  41. Gambling and tainted food is tribal heritage? I think not. Its just capitalism. Selling this shit will get them sued when (not if) someone gets paralyzed or dies. Sovereignty won’t protect them on this one. Its just plain stupid. But stupid is as stupid does. But hell what did mama know anyway? She liked her spotted owls nuked and deep fried in Exxon oil.

  42. Hey Louis. Get a grip. Who are you asking the question of? Bugs or the tribe or the posters? And if you are goung to swear, just do it chicken boy. non d’un nom is I think it’s a Frenchman’s way of avoiding saying a specific swear word and its boring. Probably why I was such a hit in Paris. I tell it like it is!

    Hey Bob, how’s the wifey? Is she still frustrated by your lack of man equipment?

  43. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m WINNING television.

  44. Nothing personal, Charlie, but I think those of us who no longer have to hear about some crank-head pulling down $2 million a week are WINNING this round.

  45. You bugs realize that Charlie Sheen modeled his bizarre behavior and insane rantings after Plain Jane, Mitch, tra and Heraldo. It was in the NYT. They did a whole half page on it in the entertainment section last Monday.

  46. We don’t read the NYT any more because of their new digital subscription policy. I guess it’s probably more affordable for former presidents. Even dead ones.

  47. I wouldn’t care if stupid people offed themselves by drinking poop particles in milk, but when they don’t die right away the rest of us are left to pick up the tab.

    I would like to hear the casino describe in detail what it plans to do for people who become ill from the products they sell. If you get sick from the sovereign nation, certainly the sovereign nation will want to take care of you, right?

  48. This milk thing is kinda different. For over a year I lived in a tent in the high desert. Bought a gallon of milk every few days from a lady in a gallon glass jars. It was from several cows she keep in a large pasture. Because the cream was on top and she did not have any equipment that I saw, I believe it was raw. It was great milk. Myself and lady living with me never had a problem. Also others who bought milk from her never suffered any harm.

    As I understand it, Humboldt is one of only 3 counties that outlaw its sale. Casino saw a marketing opportunity and seized on it. As far as them taking care of folks who buy it, is it not up to the consumer to make their own decisions. What is the danger from infection that a hunter faces. Or a fisherman. This strikes me as a rather silly issue.

  49. Only in America can authority be so juxtaposed.

    Jeffrey Lytle
    Mckinleyville – 5th District

  50. I told bob’s wife I was a cow with one teat…….she milked me raw and apparently has no health problems other than staying with a douchebag, but then that’s a mental health thing that can’t be blamed on raw milk.

  51. CTD, if our govt let stupid people suffer the consequences of their decisions, I would totally agree with you. But in this country, someone gets sick and 20 agencies are gonna spend my money getting to the bottom of it (so to speak). I think if the tribe is gonna make the money, the tribe oughtta pay the price for any public health problems.

  52. So its ok to ban transfat and plastic bags but milk that is marketed for kids to drink that could kill them is a No? Really?

  53. Don’t forget they were going to outlaw Cheerios.

  54. Rose, that’s the least of our worries. They want to outlaw free thinking and outlaw the opinions of all that differ from the whackaloon ultra left proggies.

  55. Tell me about it!

  56. Want to bring out the real whackadoo’s talk about fish. Or excuse me not fish.

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