In quest for world domination, Lovelace proves he’s not afraid to ask the big questions

"Where are the epaulettes? I alway thought there would be epaulettes. And sweet chocolate Jesus, how can we possibly be out of ascots and spats?"

46 Responses

  1. Awesome. He needs one of those hats with the big plumes on them worn by African dictators and marching bands.

  2. Actually what he needs is five more inches, in more than one place.

  3. Too funny. I bet Bob Doran’s wife thinks so too.

  4. KILLing me! Great pic.

  5. Hey Bob. Come out, come out where ever you are.

  6. Awesome graphics – from the belt buckle to the computer screens. Suck up the PBR graphics dept…..we are not worthy.

  7. Another question:
    “But enough about me. How hot do YOU think I am?”

  8. How’d you get a camera in to Humboldt Herald HQ?

  9. Your endless politically motivated character assassination is getting tiresome. Can’t you come up with something new? Same with the penis jokes in the comments. Sorry, Ha Ha, it just ain’t funny any more.

  10. Sorry Bob, for most of us they are still very funny. Perhaps little penis jokes just hit a sore nerve for you. Please believe our total sincerity when we say that neither you nor the Mrs. Bob should worry, dispite the rather obvious physical similiarties there is no intention to make you the brunt of any little bitty penis Lovelace jokes. Frankly those are all reserved for Markey Mark.

    But not to fear. We do have a whole volume you and the Misses will love. Thay all have to do with Journalistic echics, making shit up, your sweetie making shit up, and then misrepresenting the whole overflowing shitbucket as your own. But nothing at all about your little pee pee.

  11. There is almost too much to subtlety to absorb. Rob Arkley in the background. The Marina Center map. Mark’s Anit-Arkleyville belt buckle. Heraldo’s headquaters. Nazi uniform and tactics. Weren’t Nazi’s clean shaved? Where is the Head of Propoganda? Gerbles???
    Brillant piece!!!!

  12. Bob, you seem a little complexed and sensitive about the “Bob” jokes. Bob, smile, enjoy and be grateful for what little you have.
    This is great. What a nice way to start a Monday.

  13. Bob. How is that “promotion” going bro? I am actually lmao that you are checking the Mirror at 11 pm on Sunday night. Is it an obsession or a google alert?

    Can your wife even find your penis? That would be a No, huh?

  14. For Christ’s sake don’t get me started on tiresome. I know the topic only too well.

  15. Well, Bob, I got tired of your hack writing and insipid opinions years ago. Does that mean the North Coast Journal should cease to exist?

    Good god but you’re not so much in the smarts department, are you. If you don’t like it here, grow some self control and tear yourself away.

  16. Bob, thanks for being such an avid reader of the Humboldt Mirror, but aren’t there some political groups you and your wife wish to pseudonymously disparage?

  17. Yeah Bob, seriously. Get help.

  18. What’s smaller?

    1. Bob’s penis?
    2. Bob’s sense of humor?
    3. Bob”s integrity?
    4. Bob’s ability to write coherently?

    Tough call.

  19. People–he’s not playing your game. You’re playing his. He comes on here with his dick in his mouth to get everyone to talk about him instead of whatever the thread is supposed to be about. This probably stems from some early childhood experience involving his sister, but anyway. Leave him alone. It’s what he fears most.

  20. We know, but we love small penis jokes. I just figured that’s why Bob digs Mark. No ethics, small pee pee and another extremist.

  21. Awesome, just plain awesome. Bugs, can I ever thank you enough for such a wonderful Monday, sunshine (for a while), and the image of Marky-poo channeling Peter Cushing from Star Wars (the original, not the CGI).

    And yes, Marky, since you are a complete butt-head the belt buckle does make it look big!

    As to the status of Bob Doran’s penis, could not care less….I think that his recent efforts in the SubStandard and the Eye offer ample evidence of his deficits, all of his deficits.

  22. Anon 7:32, In answer to your question about what I was doing checking the Mirror at 11 at night, I was up late working on some story you won’t like and took a break to check the Journal’s RSS feed, which links to this blog and probably sends a fair amount of traffic this way. I offered my opinion, as is my right under the First Amendment. So what?

    Anon 3:02 a.m. (clearly an insomniac) You accuse me of “making shit up” and complain about my “sweetie making shit up.” What exactly are you referring to? The shitstorm that got y’all riled up was an account of a Tea Party meeting on healthcare. I didn’t make anything up, didn’t have to, it spoke for itself. I quoted my wife quoting Teddy Kennedy. Do you think she made his quote up? Somehow I doubt that you even read the piece.

    Josephine: “recent efforts in the SubStandard and the Eye”? What the hell are you talking about? I have more than enough to do writing for and editing my own paper.

    As to the general obsession with penises on this forum, well, I guess that says a lot about who hangs out here.

  23. Plain Jane says:
    March 28, 2011 at 8:56 am
    Oh, I was still stuck thinking about local manufacturing. :D

    Arnie is a good name for them, but not quite as descriptive.

    Heraldo says:
    March 28, 2011 at 9:09 am
    PJ, please check your email.

    Heraldo comment deleted. Hmmmmm

  24. So sad to hear about Chris Crawford. He was intelligent, articulate and energetic. He will be missed.

  25. Oh, and Mr. Doran, a thousand pardons, I keep mixing you up with Hank Sims. Must be that libral hack thing. Please accept my apology, I will try not to do that again.

  26. Josephine, while I’ll accept your backhanded apology, I have to disagree re: Hank – he’s not a hack, nor is he a “libral.”

  27. Bob,
    You called your wife by a name she doesn’t otherwise use in an attempt to conceal the fact that the person you quoted in the story was married to you. This was described by your employer as an egregious ethical lapse. Do you now dispute this?

  28. Bob, if I were you, I wouldn’t get too uppity about what you think things say about people who hang out here. Demonstrably, you hang out here.

  29. WTF? Can we just start Bob his own thread to poorly defend himself on so I can have a place to tear down Lovelace in peace?

  30. CC, My wife goes by her maiden name, that’s what I used. I should have noted that I am married to her, I did not. I honestly believe that the furor was blown out of proportion, but at this point it’s water under the bridge.
    What I don’t understand is why some Mirrorites now assume that my wife is symbolic for all prog thought. If you knew her at all, you’d realize that she’s not a political person at all. She has strong opinions on the healthcare issue for personal reasons – her best friends are doctors and nurses. I’m not really that political either for that matter. I’m the A&E editor, not the political news guy.
    At any rate, if the readers here want to call me out – and if you follow this thread from the top you’ll see that’s what happened last night – I’m not going to roll over. I’m a real person as opposed to the trolls and dittoheads who post here. My wife is a real person, too. The one positive thing is she doesn’t know any of you exist, and truth is, you barely do.

  31. Hey Rob, how is the Marina Center CCC proposal going? Think you’ll be able to get them to buy in? Now that Bonnie’s out, does Bass have a chance to grab the NC seat?

  32. Some people are so touchy. Trolls and dittoheads? Surely a erudite, literary individual can extrapolate more acurate descriptive terms.

  33. Bob, people talk about you because you’re dumb enough to keep coming here and being a complete moron. No one cares what you believe. They’re just made breathless by the persistence of your stupidity. As am I.

  34. Ooh Bob, what a big man you are. Not going to roll over. I think I might be getting wood. Not to ruin the moment or anything, though, have you considered that if you just went on about your life elsewhere, no one here would remember you exist? So that whole need to not roll over would, you know, be irrelevant?

  35. Bob’s like one of those high school bitches who can’t stand it when people don’t talk about her.

    So okay, Bob. There you are. You exist. Hurrah. Feel better?

  36. C’mon, Bob. Still lying? Your wife doesn’t go by her maiden name. You forget how small this town is, and how effective Google is at disproving people’s horse shit.

    Google “amy wahlberg” + arcata (the name you used in your story)

    Then Google “amy doran” + arcata (the name she uses in real life)

    Okay? You good now?

    You just can’t help digging the hole deeper, can you. Every time you come here, you give us all another swing at the pinata. This time, with the fresh batch of lies, all you’ve done is make the pummeling that much more enjoyable.

  37. Bob seriously. I think there’s something wrong with you. You’re here trying to get people to tell you what a cock you are because of your constitutional rights? I’m not a fancy writer like you are or anything, but I know what “self-defeating” and “counter-productive” both mean. You might try looking them up. Or maybe ask your misidentified wife what they mean. Really. Because this moved some time ago from funny to pathetic.

  38. Bob’s WINNING!

  39. This exercise in humiliation was brought to you by Bob Doran. Do you think he’s smart enough to be embarrassed?

  40. Hey Bob–a little heads up here. I wasn’t trying to be funny. I just want you to remember that we all now know what kind of “journalist” you are. I want to get under your skin and then lmao at you charging over here like the thin-skinned pretender you are to try to defend yourself. The only thing truly funny about it is that it works every fucking time. Idiot.

  41. Bugs, I think we may need an open Bob Doran thread so he can humiliate himself without hijacking posts. Funny that he calls other people trolls…

  42. Why can’t Judy Hodgson keep her people from showing how dumb and arrogant they are in public? News flash, Bob: This is your KSLG interview!

  43. Small pee pee. Told you so.

  44. I am the chair of the itty bitty pee pee committee. We rule and mark and Doran are small pee pee gods.

  45. It’s awfully quiet on this thread. Does that mean Bob Doran got into an in-patient program?

  46. Bob’s been grounded by his wife. She goes by her maiden name and wears the pants in this family, dammit. He’s proven to be an embarassment and a liability, so it’s off to the dog house for little Bobby.

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