Humboldt Herald: Desperately seeking originality

Help Wanted: Progressive with great adequate writing skills to produce content for a local anonymous blog political think-tank following the sudden departure of key personnel.

Must hate Rob Arkley, Frank Jager, Virginia Bass, Rob Arkley, Dave Tyson and Rob Arkley. Must find a way to also hate Ryan Sundberg despite having to pretend to give a shit about his heritage in order to keep the casino cash flowing.

The ideal candidate would be articulate English-speaking, divisive and able to suspend disbelief for extended periods of time, possibly forever. Must also be able to steal crap graphics from other crap blogs think-tanks, since we’ve never established even a baseline competence at creating our own. A sense of humor would be nice, but you know. Why start now.

Job involves having to listen to Elizabeth Connor and regularly Windexing to a streakless shine the mirror at which Mark Lovelace admires his tiny self.

Salary: Whatever Bill Pierson has left after that whole pre-nup thing falls through.

24 Responses

  1. I thought that graphic looked familiar. That’s okay, Bugs. Imitation, flattery, etc.

  2. Thanks for the laugh RobArkley

  3. Pick Me…Pick Me!

  4. I thought it was a nod to the disposability of everyone they use and abuse. Also to the hypocrisy of Pete.

  5. Thanks for proving the point, 7:48.

  6. When is Security National going to present their project to the Coastal Commission? DIdn’t they ask for it to be fast tracked on a future CCC agenda?

  7. We nearly went Heaven’s Gate here at Mirror HQ when we saw Heraldo “sample” our hard work. Bounty Pete was intended to highlight his amazing ability to soak up lawsuit money, not suggest he’s tough on spills.

    It was all the Bugs could do to pry the cyanide and arsenic out of our mouths and talk us down. But we are coping better now and are only trying to drink ourselves into a deathlike stupor with beer.

  8. Thanks for proving the point again, 12:02.

  9. Is SCRob still looking into suing Heraldo for slander?

  10. Is SecurityNat still looking into suing the H blog for slander?

  11. Are you still looking into therapy for your Rob Arkley obsession?

  12. Is Hank Sims next on the list?

  13. No apology?

  14. Tell you what. We’ll pass on the apology and instead accept a week’s worth of hookers and blow. Come on now, friends. Fair’s fair.

  15. How pathetic is it that you do a post about progs needing to hate Rob Arkley, and half the comments are from progs writing about their hatred of Rob Arkley. It’s really the only thing that unites them anymore, now that they can’t put forward a single issue anyone cares about.

  16. Half the posts maybe, cake, but it’s only one reader. One with whom we have a history, and one who this time left behind a fascinating clue.

    Thanks, friend!! Let’s talk real soon!

  17. I can not tell a lie. Brother am I interested in that “talk real soon”. Sounds a little like an early Christmas. Whoopie doodle.

  18. I have been in moderation now on several posts even though I love you little bugs (not kiss, kiss bugs but I still love you). Don’t know why but I gave you a “clue” on another post re something that was coming up but that stayed in moderation too.

    Little love bugs – anything about the “fascinating clue” that was left behind?? Are you teasing us about someone that has posted? Like who is??

    Have I been spanked or what? I am not really into spankings maybe I but could get over it or maybe just have to drink a couple of PBR’s.

  19. Sorry, friendly Anon. We’ve been having a lot of fun lately trapping a troll, and that has caused a couple of readers’ comments to go to automatic moderation. That also happens occasionally for no discernible reason, but we try to check in regularly to fish out the non-troll comments and get them posted. Our apologies for the inconvenience.

  20. Conference with Legal Counsel – Existing Litigation pursuant to Government Code section 54956.9(a), Humboldt Sunshine, Inc. v. County of Humboldt, et.al.; Humboldt County Superior Court Case No. CV070159.

    Go get em!

  21. Your identity will be exposed soon Mr. Humbug.

    Watch the Herald in the next two weeks buddy ol’ pal!

  22. Another guy apparently doesn’t understand the english language

  23. Wait a minute! He’s been hiding the location of his property all this time?! Damn him! Now he’ll kill the railroad so that he can sell his farm property for high end development – you know, the people with lots of money who don’t want their freeway noise being drowned out by the sound of an occasional train.

    But his role is derailed because, ….. some guy filed a complaint.

    I love your satire Humbug. This may be one of your best!

  24. Oops. Wrong thread.

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