Conditions prime for bullshit on the North Coast

Preschool teacher hands Girard his ass

A quick word of advice to (current) Community Development Disservices Director Kirk Girard: Don’t piss off the smart people.

An example thereof is one Hilary Mosher, a woman whose attempt to open a preschool in McKinleyville reads like something from a Kafka novel. Her story, which she tells in a Times-Standard guest op, goes something like this: She asks planning staff if she needs a permit, the planner doesn’t know, asks two other planners, one says yes, one no, the original planner says she trusts the judgment of the one who said no, so Ms. Mosher begins construction.

Easy enough! So let’s just go to the game film and see how that worked out for her:

When I contacted Girard after a “stop work” order was posted on the school gate, and told him that I was following the direction I’d been given by his staff, he said: “If you were a professional, you would’ve gotten that in writing.” Appalled, I said, “I am a professional educator. I pay taxes and should be able to expect that when I contact my government office for crucial information, it will be correct.” Girard retorted, “You know, I could reverse the decision for your penalty fee [he levied thousands in penalties] if I found that my office was at fault … but I won’t because I don’t believe that’s what happened.” Then he said that he had ordered a training for all his junior staff to “avoid the situation from recurring.” I said, “Wait–you don’t believe that it happened, but conducted a training to prevent it from happening again?” and he laughed. It was obvious that he knew I was telling the truth and was enjoying unfairly exerting power over me.

Girard would subsequently say that there were “zones she could set up her facility in without requiring a permit and she did not choose one of those zones.” Mosher says the only problem with that answer is that there are no zones for preschools in Humboldt County.

After spending thousands of dollars, Mosher finally got her permit–along with a condescending reprimand from the Planning Commission for intentionally building outside a zone that didn’t exist.

Yeah. That story’s likely to leave a mark on the ol’ performance eval. So good luck with that, Kirk.

Times-Standard Paradox

Permanent override for times-standard.com paywall

Are you tired of those irritating subscription pop-ups? Do you have to delete your cookies several times a day? In your opinion, is “delete your cookies” one of the most annoying phrases in the English language? Do you wish there was a more enjoyable way to steal content from the Times-Standard online?

Well, we did too, and let’s just say the da Vinci code it wasn’t. Ten minutes and two below-average IQs are pretty much all it took to defeat the paywall of one of the biggest media conglomerates in the world.

Here’s how to do it:

  • Using Internet Explorer, click “Tools” and select “Internet Options” from the drop-down menu that appears.
  • Under “Delete temporary files,” etc., click “Delete,” check the top three boxes on the new page that appears, and hit delete once more. This gets you started with a clean slate.
  • You should be back at the “Internet Options” page again (under “Tools” if you get lost). This time select the “Privacy” tab at the top. About halfway down the page is the option “Sites.” Click it.
  • In the “Address of website” box, add the following, in no particular order. After each address is typed into the small text box, hit “Block” and that address will be added to the larger text box.

2o7.net (that’s number 2, letter o, number 7)
ppjol.com
atwola.net
yieldmanager.net

  • Hit “Okay,” then hit “Okay” again, and you’re welcome!

For tomorrow’s trick, we will piss up a rope. It looks kinda complicated, but since everyone keeps telling us to do it we might as well give it a try.

Hugs!!

Imperial Douche Lovelace plots overthrow of Humboldt Mirror

EMPIRE FALLS: Kirk Girard out at Building and Planning?

Inside sources say longtime Community Development Disservices Director Kirk Girard will no longer run the Building and Planning Divisions. He will retain control of Economic Development and Natural Resources, at least for now.

No specific reasons were given for the change–probably because the list is too damn long. Girard’s recent cock-up over the multifamily housing rezone was likely just the last straw.

So what does this mean for the Community Development Disservices Department? Will Girard continue to draw a full salary for half the job?

And who will run the Building and Planning Divisions? Will those functions be outsourced to the private sector as some have suggested?

Most important–What will become of the General Plan Update? No one’s ever accused us of being very smart, but the answer to this one seems obvious even to us:

It’s game on, bitches.

Update:

The matter might be tied to this item on the Supervisors’ closed session agenda for Tuesday:

“It is the intention of the Board of Supervisors to meet in closed session to consider the Public Employee Performance Evaluation for the position of Director of Community Development Services pursuant to Government Code Sections 54954.5 and 54957.

New and Improved Update:

After hearing two McKinleyville and Cutten residents remind the Supervisors of their personal experiences dealing with a rude Girard and his inability to actually hear the people he is forced to listen to, County Counsel Wendy Chaitin reported in the afternoon meeting that the board met in closed session to discuss Girard and unanimously voted to punt the issue to the Oct. 11 meeting.

 

Neely for Congress, Gallegos for Assembly, Clendenen for Mayor McCheese?

Humboldt County politics: McFucked as usual.

Congresswoman Neely? Assemblyman Gallegos? Get ready for your election gossip roundup.

Word around town is that Bonnie Neely is itching to get back into the political game following her  ignominious defeat by Virginia Bass in November. But will she try to go from failed county supervisor to First District U.S. Congresswoman? An endorsement from Mike Thompson, who has announced his intention to run in the redrawn Fifith District, would be crucial.

And when Wes Chesbro term-limits out of the first Assembly district, what fresh young face do you think the Dems will put forward to take his place? We’re hearing it’s none other than District Attorney Paul Gallegos, empty-headed tool and possibly the worst thing ever to happen to the administration of justice in Humboldt County.

The good news is, he can’t possibly be a worse assemblyman than DA, and maybe we could then elect someone to the DA’s Office who wants more out of life than a well shined knob. We can hope for that, anyway.

As for Clif Clendenen, he said he would already be the head of McDonaldland except that in the last vote the Hamburglar stole the election.

Okay, not really.

From the “When Journalism Actually Grows a Pair Department…”

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