Times-Standard staffers forget what city, state they live in

Yoo-hoo, friends! Remember Humboldt County? That place with the burgeoning pot industry and crap daily newspaper?

There’s no place like… wherever.

Some rain, mostly Mark Lovelace contain Trinity’s Flat Fire

Third District Supervisor Mark Lovelace announced Tuesday that the low pressure system that moved across Northern California that dropped nearly 1 inch of rain contributed somewhat to his efforts to get the upper hand on the Flat Fire in Trinity County.

The wildfire burned 1,688 acres and interrupted east-west traffic on U.S. Highway 299.

As of the Board of Supervisors’ meeting start Tuesday the fire was approximately 80 percent contained, according to the Times-Standard.

The Flat Fire was sparked last Wednesday and its cause is still under investigation. Lovelace believes it is most likely the result of severely unregulated development in Timber Production Zone lands.
In related news, Lovelace also helped the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad recover and destroy a 60-year-old 155mm artillery shell found on Eureka’s waterfront yesterday. Lovelace, who recently handily defeated challenger Karen Brooks in the far-left leaning Third District’s June primary, said he will remain vigilant to respond to and vanquish any emergencies in any jurisdiction during his term in office.

Court rules Caltrans not planning to go all crazy on big trees

If the Progs felt the end of the world was nigh when Walmart opened in the area’s largest retail mall last month, today’s revelation is all four Horsemen of the Apocalypse giddyupping right over their tree-hugging backs.

Although there is some federally ordered remapping of trees to be done, the Humboldt County Superior Court ruled in favor of Caltrans and gives the go ahead for the Richardson Grove Improvement Project to move forward. It might be the final straw that forces the environmental and job-hating groups to commit a Heaven’s Gate-style mass suicide. Oh no, slightly larger trucks are coming!!!

We kid. But seriously. In his 30-page decision,¬†Judge Dale Reinholtsen said the court determined that Caltrans isn’t the Devil and doesn’t hate trees. Particularly really big, old redwood trees. And not surprisingly, he found that Caltrans followed California’s environmental laws just fine. Desperate appeals from oddly named people or groups to follow no doubt.

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