Attack of the killer tomatoes!

It’s practically summer, and we can’t eat tomatoes? Really? What the eff is this world coming to?
Next we’ll be told to stay away from Mrs. Baird’s Buns and Mommy’s Bliss Nipple Cream.
Unacceptable!!
(Is there any way we can blame this on the Chinese?)

Shit happens–elsewhere

After a long string of controversial police shootings in Humboldt County, little Del Norte County has one of its own.
A 27-year-old Brookings, Oregon, man, who led sheriff’s deputies on a vehicle chase, was shot and killed by a deputy nine days ago on the Hiouchi Bridge.
The investigation has revealed thus far that Eric Jones, [...]

A brief note to new fathers

Imagine how excited you would be if the Super Bowl were played by two teams of naked supermodels. Throw in free chicken wings and all the beer you can drink, and that’s the sort of Mothers Day celebration your wife is expecting tomorrow.
Sure, on Fathers Day you’ll still be expected to mow the lawn. But [...]

And now for a little perspective

Yesterday, while news outlets around the world trumpeted reports of 10,000 deaths from the Myanmar cyclone, the most-read story of the day on both CNN and MSNBC was a piece about a team of scientists attempting to fit a bald eagle with a prosthetic beak.
Today, we are told, the death toll from the cyclone has [...]

Oh sweet. Now’s our chance.

For those of us who have waited decades for the opportunity to pry firearms from the cold, dead hands of longtime National Rifle Association front-man Charlton Heston, it looks like our time has come.
Heston died last night at the age of 84 with his wife Lydia, and his massive gun collection, by his side.

Gas prices hit highest level since yesterday (or, The Humboldt Mirror solves another of the world’s vexing problems)

We bugs aren’t prudish. Not even a little. We tell off-color jokes and link to porn sites and sometimes throw eff-bombs into headlines just for fun. We, in short, have nothing against a little screwing.
But even we couldn’t help feeling a bit miffed about the unceremonious pounding we took at the pump yesterday when we [...]

ELF suspected in blaze that liberates tons of carbon into atmosphere

A sign left at the scene of a series of house fires believed to have been intentionally set near Seattle has led investigators to suspect the Earth Liberation Front, a radical environmental organization blamed for numerous similar fires across the country.
Apparently releasing tons of pollutants into the air, destroying the natural resources used to build [...]

Just think how pissed off you’ll be when that’s your money she’s wasting

In another sign that Hillary Clinton is perhaps not the best candidate to serve as leader of the free world, recent campaign finance reports made public Wednesday show that she blew millions of dollars of campaign contributions on party platters, luxury hotels and a revolving door of overpriced consultants.
The New York Times reported Friday that [...]