Bugs thrilled to learn they’re in the economic elite

Yay us!!

The things you learn in the Times-Standard these days. According to a letter to the editor today from Pam Service, we’re effing rich! Check this out.

Pam says:

  • People voting for someone other than Linda Atkins are “moneyed.” This is terrific news! We thought we were kind of middle class, what with the blue-collar jobs and just squeaking by. But obviously that’s about to change. Does anyone know when we’ll get our checks?
  • Candidates able to quickly muster support are “questionable.” I’ll say. Remember how long it took for anyone to give a shit about Atkins? She must be the real deal.
  • Anyone who wants to vote for a candidate other than Linda Atkins is a power-crazed control freak who is subverting the democratic process. I know, right? The obvious solution is for no one to run against Atkins, so that through the absence of a democratic process Democracy itself can be saved.

Get with it, Eureka! Keep Democracy alive by stopping people from voting for candidates they support.

Thank you.

Dean Singleton honored in Harper’s Magazine for being a complete douche

The September issue of Harper’s Magazine contains a fascinating story about Dean Singleton, owner of MediaNews Group, the privately held media behemoth that currently owns 56 daily newspapers including our very own Times-Standard.

According to “The Only Game In Town,” David Sirota recounts instances when Singleton:

  • Ignored or killed stories critical of candidates he supported
  • Concealed evidence that would hurt his friends and allies
  • Strong-armed endorsements from his editorial boards
  • Ran competitors out of business and then gutted staff

The article states that Singleton also, “without a hint of modesty,” allowed the Denver Post which he owns to run an article labeling himself “the Superman of the American newspaper industry.”

Aw, shucks!

Since forcing the Post‘s competitor the Rocky Mountain News out of business, Sirota writes, “Singleton has become even more blatant in his embrace of Charles Foster Kane’s famous dictum: People will think ‘what I tell them to think.'”

What a guy. While he cuts newspapers to the bone, Singleton brags about how many ranches he has, and how good the view is from his new $85 million headquarters building in Denver.

Meanwhile, we’ve got three news reporters at the Times-Standard, an editor determined not to stick her head out of the hole for any reason, and a citizenry that knows almost nothing about what goes on around it.

As for prospects for the future, Sirota holds out little hope:

But with newspaper monopolies hanging on for now, using their trusted brands to tilt the political and cultural terrain, things will almost certainly get worse before they get better.

Times-Standard editorial even dumber than most

It’s amazing the things we can learn from the Times-Standard. Take the editorial from the Sunday edition, in which we are informed that the problem with prosecutions in Humboldt County is not that Paul Gallegos is a dumb, unethical pile of butt-stink–it’s that his office doesn’t have enough money, so we should give him more. Great idea. Maybe while we’re at it, we can give bad drivers more cars, and lousy farmers more land. Hey–let’s give child molesters more dicks, because for sure that’ll make everything better.

Previously we’ve been told that all Gallegos needed was time. Then it was experience. Then it was staff. Now, evidently, it’s money.What Gallegos actually needs is 50 IQ points and a conscience. What he has that serves him almost as well is the editorial board of the county’s only daily newspaper spending a full decade making excuses for him.

Times-Standard staffers forget what city, state they live in

Yoo-hoo, friends! Remember Humboldt County? That place with the burgeoning pot industry and crap daily newspaper?

There’s no place like… wherever.

Some rain, mostly Mark Lovelace contain Trinity’s Flat Fire

Third District Supervisor Mark Lovelace announced Tuesday that the low pressure system that moved across Northern California that dropped nearly 1 inch of rain contributed somewhat to his efforts to get the upper hand on the Flat Fire in Trinity County.

The wildfire burned 1,688 acres and interrupted east-west traffic on U.S. Highway 299.

As of the Board of Supervisors’ meeting start Tuesday the fire was approximately 80 percent contained, according to the Times-Standard.

The Flat Fire was sparked last Wednesday and its cause is still under investigation. Lovelace believes it is most likely the result of severely unregulated development in Timber Production Zone lands.
In related news, Lovelace also helped the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad recover and destroy a 60-year-old 155mm artillery shell found on Eureka’s waterfront yesterday. Lovelace, who recently handily defeated challenger Karen Brooks in the far-left leaning Third District’s June primary, said he will remain vigilant to respond to and vanquish any emergencies in any jurisdiction during his term in office.

Court rules Caltrans not planning to go all crazy on big trees

If the Progs felt the end of the world was nigh when Walmart opened in the area’s largest retail mall last month, today’s revelation is all four Horsemen of the Apocalypse giddyupping right over their tree-hugging backs.

Although there is some federally ordered remapping of trees to be done, the Humboldt County Superior Court ruled in favor of Caltrans and gives the go ahead for the Richardson Grove Improvement Project to move forward. It might be the final straw that forces the environmental and job-hating groups to commit a Heaven’s Gate-style mass suicide. Oh no, slightly larger trucks are coming!!!

We kid. But seriously. In his 30-page decision,¬†Judge Dale Reinholtsen said the court determined that Caltrans isn’t the Devil and doesn’t hate trees. Particularly really big, old redwood trees. And not surprisingly, he found that Caltrans followed California’s environmental laws just fine. Desperate appeals from oddly named people or groups to follow no doubt.

Times-Standard likely to suck even more

It’s official. (Well, it’s probably official. It’s coming from the North Coast Journal, right?)

Rumors are afloat that the area’s longstanding daily newspaper the Eureka Times-Standard, only a wispy shell of what it was a few years ago, will be outsourcing more of its content or production. Or both. Local jobs might be lost.

Will the last one out please turn the lights off?

It’s a sad day for newsfolk and yet another blow from the T-S’s corporate schmucks.

This means many Humboldt County residents will probably have to get vital news and important information in the near future from the area’s next two biggest media outlets: Charles Douglas’ Humboldt Sentinel and Humboldt State University’s The Lumberjack newspaper.

Both are stoked, but couldn’t be reached for comment. The Lumberjack’s editor graduated in May and Douglas’ mom had the phone in her basement removed because of budget cuts.

The Arcata High Journalism Club will also jockey for a piece of the pie.

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