Neely for Congress, Gallegos for Assembly, Clendenen for Mayor McCheese?

Humboldt County politics: McFucked as usual.

Congresswoman Neely? Assemblyman Gallegos? Get ready for your election gossip roundup.

Word around town is that Bonnie Neely is itching to get back into the political game following her  ignominious defeat by Virginia Bass in November. But will she try to go from failed county supervisor to First District U.S. Congresswoman? An endorsement from Mike Thompson, who has announced his intention to run in the redrawn Fifith District, would be crucial.

And when Wes Chesbro term-limits out of the first Assembly district, what fresh young face do you think the Dems will put forward to take his place? We’re hearing it’s none other than District Attorney Paul Gallegos, empty-headed tool and possibly the worst thing ever to happen to the administration of justice in Humboldt County.

The good news is, he can’t possibly be a worse assemblyman than DA, and maybe we could then elect someone to the DA’s Office who wants more out of life than a well shined knob. We can hope for that, anyway.

As for Clif Clendenen, he said he would already be the head of McDonaldland except that in the last vote the Hamburglar stole the election.

Okay, not really.

New Coastal Commission chair fired for being as big a prick as the last one

Keep in mind this is Sara Wan's official portrait, which means it's a picture she wants people to see.

Coastal Commission chairpersons might have to put themselves on some kind of endangered species list.

First, Humboldt County voters remove one–former District Four Supervisor Bonnie Neely.

Now her successor, Sara Wan, loses her political appointment for double-crossing a former aide to John Burton–who just so happened to be the man who appointed her to the commission these last 16 years.

Oopsies!!

We quote:

Wan’s appointment as chair became controversial in January when former Senate President pro Tem John Burton sent her a profanity-laced letter on State Democratic Party letterhead (he is the current chair) accusing Wan of having “screwed Mary Shallenberger (a former longtime aide of Burton) out of the chair of the commission in order to gain it yourself.

(The “profanity” wasn’t all that interesting by Burton standards. One little bullshit, as in “No need to respond to this because I have no need to hear any of your rationalizing bullshit on this issue.” That barely counts.)

Importantly, Shallenberger had also been one of Wan’s staunchest defenders, a position that could easily have been a full-time job given Wan’s reputation as an obdurate, conniving, power-hungry ass.

Arnold York, publisher of Wan’s hometown daily the Malibu Times, describes Wan as follows:

Wan was never an easy appointment for a politician. She has many fans in the environmental movement, but she has also made many enemies along the way. Anyone who has ever sat at a Coastal meeting and watched Wan, as chair (she has served as chair once before), juggle the speaker slips so causes she favored came up early and the opposition usually put off to the end of the meeting, couldn’t help but come away with a feeling that they had been railroaded. Most politicians try to hide their power, but not Wan. She loves power and loves people knowing that she has power. She delights in rubbing everyone’s nose in her power and wants you to know that she’s doing it, which is one of the reasons Wan is detested by many, as, I certainly would venture, a significant portion of Malibu’s residents does.

Now who does that remind us of?

For those so inclined, see the news bit announcing word of Wan’s removal.

Photo credit: Wan family

Good thing we don’t have tornadoes around here

This particular storm was accompanied by hot air and golf ball-sized bullshit.

Someone told her, right?

One former elected official's Twitter account is in serious need of an update. Probably she's just been busy doing, you know, stuff.

How do you figure?

Am I the only one who wonders what was happening in the moments immediately preceding "Hey I know! Let's Google it!"?

WordPress comes equipped with all sorts of helpful information as part of its blog hosting service. We especially like the list of search terms it provides that show which words and phrases people typed into their computer to land at the Humboldt Mirror. Really? Light testicle spanking?

Patriot games

"Give me liberty, or give me six figures and a fat pension plan. I think we both know which I'd prefer."

The Redwood Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union pulled out all the stops recently when members presented our good friend Bonnie Neely with the annual Patriot Award, the chapter’s highest honor. It was given, according to a blurb in the Times-Standard, “in recognition of her contributions to civil liberties during her 24 years of public service.”

These contributions were so notable that none were mentioned. Maybe stopping just shy of waterboarding her staff is good enough to walk away with this one. Regardless, receiving this prestigious award and identifying just one business or organization she hasn’t screwed over in the past 24 years should be enough to land her a job.

One down, one to go, Bon Bon. Good luck with that.

Times-Standard unveils new front-page job search service for unpopular former bureaucrats

 According to the Times-Standard, deposed supervisor Bonnie Neely is tanned, rested and ready for her next job.

Like Nixon, only with a pulse.

To read the homage, which purports to be a news article, is to come face to face with a combination of desperation and wishful revisionism not often found outside a Craigslist Missed Connection ad.

In Neely’s own words:

Whether I’m in office or not,

FYI: You’re not.

I still have 30 years of experience making government work for people.

FYI: You don’t.

I’m absolutely ecstatic to begin a new chapter in my life

And yet nowhere near as ecstatic as we are.

where I can use that experience to solve problems in the community

Now that would be a new chapter and mark a dramatic departure from your long history of exacerbating existing problems and creating entirely new ones.

without the sometimes harsh public spotlight that comes with elected office.

Oh Bon Bon. You won’t have to go without!

Promise.

We’ll always be here for you.

Hugs!

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