Carson Park Mofo disappears from the blogosphere

Friend, D-list blogging won't be the same without you. Hugs!!

How did we miss this?

What gives?

Arch-rival and fellow D-list blogger Carson Park Mofo slipped up and said something kinda-sorta nice about us. To wit:

CPRMOFO

Carson Park Ranger said…

Oh come on, Doggerelface. You simply must admit that the posts are funny at the Mirror. The Bonnie fixation is disturbing, and the comments are beyond the pale, but the talent behind the posts deserves recognition.

Oh well. He must have been drunk.

Anyway–here, friendly Mofo. Have three more hits.

Hugs!!

Carson Park Mofo jumps on the publicity-whore bandwagon

Admittedly, though, he is a looker.

Admittedly, though, he is a looker.

All right, all right, bro.

Here. Have some hits.

Feel better?

Hugs!!

(But a little PS, if we may? No one deserves to have condescending and derogatory “news” articles written about them by people who–kind of like you– seem to think disagreement with the writer’s beliefs is a sign of incurable stupidity. That’s what’s wrong with the cable news shows you seem to be so enamored of and why no one we know watches them. They’re arrogant, inaccurate and unfair. So was Bob Doran’s characterization of a group of people in Fortuna who oppose the current range of health reform options. But hey–thanks for giving us another opportunity to point that out.)

Carson Park Mofo blows gold medal in Olympic blog-neglecting event

Carson Park Mofo, occasional administrator of the Eureka Standard blog, came up short Thursday in his quest for the gold in the Olympic blog-neglecting event.

Mofo went 13 days without a new post, just three shy of the world record set in July by Mofo’s archrivals, the Humboldt Mirror bugs.

“Team Mofo was putting up some pretty big numbers,” an ebullient Humbug said after the medals ceremony. “He went 13 days, which is respectable, but keep in mind I’ve had hangovers last longer than that. “

Veteran Olympic commentator Bob Costas had predicted that the showdown between two of the laziest bloggers in the world would provide one of the defining moments of the 29th Olympiad, and the event lived up to its billing.

“By God, this is what American sport is all about,” Costas effused–”right down to the persistent doping rumors. The bugs certainly set the bar low. The Mofo just couldn’t quite slink under it.”

Ruh-roh, Mofo

The usually genial and endearing Carson Park Mofo is hosting a major bitch-fight over at the Eureka Standard. There’s hair-pulling, eye-scratching, dozens of impressively insulting words (many of which we can’t even pronounce!) and a sprinkling of deleted comments.

It. Is. On.

We’ll recap them there fightin’ words in order of appearance:

“doddering
“agist (sic) pig
“lardy ass
“lack of discipline
“fat
“fucker
“fumbling circumlocution
“champion of grandmas
“racists
“incipient decrepitude
“pitifully uninformed
“feeble-minded
“unfit
“sniper fire delusion/chronic flight from credibility
“my grandmother is a racist
“mentally unfit
“senile old fart
“lardbucket
“Goddamn America
“baby
“angry and ignorant
“racists
“America is damned for killing innocet (sic) people
“I guess you dont (sic) follow Jesus
“right-wing ideologues
“Fox news viewers
“Republican
“rich people
“Cartmanesque glib ad hominem attacks
“not as funny as Cartman
“less substance
“self-hatred
“oafish tidbits of history from coffee table books about WWII
“polo champion
“avoirdupois
“fatuous innuendo
“stealing from your employer

We have only the vaguest idea what they’re arguing about—but friends! We’re Americans! Our wars don’t need reasons. Go join one side or the other, and let’s turn this thing blog-o-nuclear!!!

Carson Park Mofo goes ahead and steps in it this time

Oh it’s on now, bitches.

It. Is. On. And someone over at the Eureka Standard better be scared.

He Whose Name We Shall Not Speak has given the Humboldt Mirror additional unwanted publicity, and even gone so far as to suggest we might be more popular than Fred, the undisputed king of Humboldt blogdom!

In mitigation, HWNWSNS did note, correctly, that our seemingly clever posts are in fact entirely derivative, so he’s not all bad.

But will we allow these affronts to continue? We will not.

He must be stopped. But how?

Discuss!

Related post: New salvo launched in battle of D-list blogs

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