What’s this in our mailbox? (Part III)

To: Humboldt Mirror From: bluelakepd@aol.com Yo yo bug homes, what up? Jus got back from So Cal. Wuz hangin with the hotties and muling some off-market Lunesta from TJ. Gotta help the girlz getta good nights sleep, no what I mean? Heh heh. So, jus wanted to give yuz a shout out for keepin it [...]

Today in awesomeness

Former Blue Lake police chief David Gundersen is in the wind after blowing off a court appearance Wednesday, Times-Standard ace reporter Thad Greenson went all the way to Long Beach to write about men’s restroom conversions, and a new clothing store in Fortuna was treated to the most ass-mangled headline we’ve seen in a long [...]

Lunesta stocks surge on word of Gundersen release

Pharmaceutical company Sepracor, manufacturer of the popular sleep aid Lunesta, saw its stock value jump by more than 5 percent Tuesday morning, hours after investors learned that former Blue Lake police chief David Gundersen had been released from jail on bond. The stock spike followed Wall Street’s worst single-day sell-off in U.S. history. “I don’t [...]

Gallegos found guilty of wankering another big case

In a related development, former Blue Lake police chief David Gundersen was found not guilty of raping his most recent wife. A big cheer anyway for our idiot district attorney. We say “douche,” you say “bag.” DOUCHE.

Well that’s the last time we hire THAT blogsitter…

Can’t a couple of invertebrates take a nice family vacation once in a while? What… the… eff?? So we hired a supposed professional to keep an eye on the Mirror in our absence, and what does he do? Drinks all our PBR, walks off with our porn stash, and uses up all our buy-one-get-one-free pizza [...]

Humboldt Mirror buggers Gundersen case?

An e-mail from an informed tipster reveals that among the many exhibits attached to the change of venue motion in the trial of former Blue Lake police chief David Gundersen are several completely fabricated “news stories” that appeared originally on the Humboldt Mirror. Admittedly, it’s hard not to be entertained by the thought of a [...]

Confirmed: Gundersen attorney desperately seeking venue change

Local defense attorney Russ Clanton confirmed Friday that he is seeking a more hospitable venue for the trial of former Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen, who remains in custody on 30 felony charges related to his alleged drugging and raping of a handful of his current and former wives. Clanton said he chose July [...]

Gundersen got way more action than previously believed

Former Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen was charged Monday with 14 additional counts of spousal rape, bringing to 24 the total number of rape charges against him. According to documents filed by Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos, Gundersen has officially, albeit illegally, gotten laid twice as often as anyone we know. We’d be [...]

Blue Lake’s entire police force now on paid administrative leave

In yet another sign of the managerial buffoonery for which the city of Blue Lake is now widely known, the city’s two remaining police officers have been placed on administrative leave by City Mismanager Wiley Buck, just days after they signed a letter of no confidence in Buck’s disastrous administration. But wait, Buck told the [...]

Blue Lake City Council shows some sack

But just a little, really. Next to none, now that we think about it. Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen will get the boot—but not until May 5. What the fuck? Whether he raped anyone or not is, at this point, almost irrelevant to his employment status. So many other confirmed improprieties have surfaced during [...]

At this point, we would definitely consider a name change

The aura of weird surrounding the David Gundersen rape case veered toward bizarre last week when the Times-Standard identified Margaret Gundersen as the driver of a vehicle that ran over and severely injured a 16-year-old McKinleyville High School student who was reportedly lying in a dark roadway near the school. Those whose memories were not [...]

Blue Lake slips motto contest into city council agenda

In the wake of increasingly lurid allegations of misconduct against jailed Police Chief David Gundersen, the city of Blue Lake is quietly seeking suggestions for a new motto to replace “Blue Lake: Where sunshine and sea air meet.” Gundersen was arrested in February after his current wife, not to be confused with his ex-wife or [...]

Police chief pleads not guilty to spousal rape, requests Valentine’s Day conjugal with wife

Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen pleaded not guilty Wednesday to 12 counts of raping his wife while she was drugged or intoxicated, and filed a motion through his attorney requesting a conjugal visit with his unidentified spouse in celebration of Valentine’s Day. Westhaven defense attorney Russ Clanton, who filed the emergency order, said he [...]

Police chief denies spousal rape accusation, says two were never married

The embattled chief of the Blue Lake Police Department issued a strongly worded statement Sunday night stating that he is “completely innocent” of spousal rape because he is not married to the woman he drugged and sexually assaulted. David Gundersen, 53, was arrested Friday in McKinleyville on suspicion of drugging and raping a woman identified [...]