George Clark: Still kind of a dumbfuck

In yesterday’s Times-Standard, failed city council candidate George Clark articulates some of the genius that sent his campaign straight down the ol’ crapper last fall. A few highlights: If 75 percent of residents cannot afford home ownership, give them no jobs. That will help. If the Balloon Track is “essential for growth that actually begins [...]

Dare to dream, Eureka!!

Brace yourselves, Eurekans, because word from the prog pond is that a certain former city councilman is planning to do us the great favor of running for mayor of our fair city. Yippee kai yay and shit, yes? Because when we look at the challenges facing Eureka, the first thought that springs to mind is, [...]

1986: Kind of a crap year

The space shuttle Discovery blew up. Chernobyl melted down. Halley’s Comet was a major bust, and the Bears beat the living crap out of our Patriots in Super Bowl XX. Closer to home, something called MAXXAM purchased the Pacific Lumber Company, and Bonnie Neely was elected Fourth District Supervisor. Now PALCO is gone, of course, [...]

City councilman takes on Town Dandy

Hank Sims, one of the north coast’s premier wordsmiths, got his ass verbally handed to him Thursday by Eureka City Councilman Jeff Leonard, a man not universally known for his powers of expression. Better still, the little Jeffster needed fewer than 200 words to dismantle Hank’s long-winded lamentation about how “it’s something close to insane” [...]

City to hire reading tutors for Glass and Atkins

Two Eureka city councilmembers spoke movingly Tuesday night about their lifelong struggles with literacy, prompting an emotional council to quickly approve hiring tutors to teach them reading, phonics and other basic life skills. “Admitting you’re stupid is the first step to getting help,” Mayor Virginia Bass said, blinking back tears as she hugged Councilwoman Linda [...]

Tired of the county getting all the good scandals, city of Eureka decides to create a crapstorm all its own

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, the guy behind the wheel of the cement truck is probably Larry Glass. He’s the unstoppable force behind Eureka Municipal Code sections 150.030.001 – 150.030.083—also known as the Rental Housing Program, which seeks to fund rental inspection and enforcement activities by imposing rules and fees [...]

St. Joe’s time capsule contains incorrect billing statements from the 1950s

A time capsule inadvertently unearthed Wednesday at St. Joseph Hospital in Eureka contained some of the earliest known examples of the institution’s now routine pattern of overbilling for medical services. St. Joe CEO Joe Mark confirmed Thursday that inside the small steel box, found by construction crews, were invoices showing disputed and excessive charges, along [...]

Dead guy’s health only slightly worse than when he was alive

The Humboldt County Coroner’s Office is looking for additional clues to assist in the identification of human remains found Sunday in a creek bed off of Myrtle Avenue in Eureka. “The deceased appears to be an adult male with an old leg fracture, a three-inch-by-four-inch healed bone flap consistent with recent brain surgery, half of [...]

1980s-flashback party culminates in abortion clinic arson

Police have linked a pair of small fires believed to have been intentionally set Sunday at a Eureka abortion clinic to a group of local revelers wistfully celebrating a bygone era. “It’s all so quaint, so thoroughly 1980s” said Debbe Hartridge, education director for Six Rivers Planned Parenthood, as she surveyed the minor damage caused [...]

St. Joe’s CEO injures self in Mexico to avoid treatment at St. Joe’s

St. Joseph Hospital Chief Executive Joe Mark confirmed Monday that he decided to fracture his skull in Mexico, instead of Eureka, because of what he called the “superior quality of health care” available in developing countries. Mark and his wife, Peggy, both suffered moderate injuries Sunday in a zip-line accident in Puerto Vallarta. Reached Monday [...]

Billion-dollar suit settled for two Happy Meals

The two litigants in a historic lawsuit against the Pacific Lumber Company celebrated victory last night at a South Broadway drive-thru window. Chris Maranto and Richard Wilson, who had sought damages totaling more than $1 billion in the case, settled for two McDonald’s hamburger Happy Meals, one with no mustard and extra pickle, the other [...]

Avalon restaurant adds instant replay to menu

Succumbing to public pressure, Avalon owner Beverley Wolfe confirmed Friday that she is installing instant replay video equipment at her Third Street restaurant in Eureka. Wolfe made the announcement following the controversial on-field call by state and local officials that there was insufficient evidence to determine whether billionaire Robin Arkley II pushed Eureka City Councilman [...]