Grand Jury finds EPD failed to follow own policies in handling ‘report of wrongdoing which may have involved an elected official’

Damn shame we have absolutely no idea what that’s about, isn’t it?

The Grand Jury concluded that although the Eureka Police Department handled the unexplained matter “without following what little protocol their own manual contains,” and that one “member of the EPD” said it “wasn’t that important” for existing protocols to be followed in this case, “nothing was illegally done” by the department.

The same is not said for the elected official.

Ah, vindication, yes? Sometimes it smells an awful lot like teen spirit.

Read the entire 2011 Grand Jury report here.

Eight former Eureka mayors and councilmembers kick Linda Atkins’ ass

Once in a while, Times-Standard employees put something absolutely riveting in the pages of their newspaper.

Almost never did they write it themselves.

Today’s example of both is a guest opinion piece submitted by former city of Eureka representatives Mike Jones, Jeff Leonard, Virginia Bass, Mary Beth Wolford, Polly Endert, Cherie Arkley, Connie Miller and Nancy Flemming, who call out current Councilwoman Linda Atkins for some of her more colorful contributions to local mythology.

One of our faves:

In a recent North Coast Journal article, Councilwoman Atkins also blamed the city manager for turnover in city department heads. We know many of these department heads personally, so we did something the writer of the NCJ story did not. We called four former city employees and asked why they left. Not one of them said it was because of Tyson. These four did however allude to a former city councilmember who created havoc within the city by acting as if he was dictator — not one of five elected city councilmembers. Misstating the truth is not high on the list of political qualities that voters admire.

Gosh! Now who might that have been?

Read the letter in its entirety here.

Sixteen (Roman) Candles

Fireworks in hand, Larry still needed to pick up some wine coolers and "Twilight" DVDs before his guests arrived.

The Biggest Loser

Bill the Chump

Even though it’s still a sore subject over at the Big Hammer headquarters, it’s worth mentioning again which local millionaire shelled out the dough in November’s election.

The November election showed that big donations don’t always guarantee a win in Eureka. Bill and Elizabeth Pierson filed a major donor expenditure statement, indicating they donated $44,000 to five candidates in 2010. Three of those were to Eureka candidates — Larry Glass, Ron Kuhnel and LaVallee — all of whom were not elected.

We’d put Pierson’s numbers easily over $100,000 if you start adding up the cash going back to the 2006 supervisorial and Eureka City Council races too.

There is one bright spot for Bill, though. Former Eureka Mayor Peter LaVallee announced recently that he’d returned a $1,000 contribution to Pierson–chump change for the hardware baron but a nice enough gesture from LaVallee, who at least went down with some dignity.

Bayshore Best Buy?

As previously tweeted by capdiamont, rumors abound that the electronics superstore Best Buy has inked an agreement to open a retail outlet in the Bayshore Mall.

While there has been no official announcement yet (and we’re wrong about most things), it’s never too early for the progs to bang on about how the world will end, and the rest of us to hope the move would give a bit of a boost to our local economy and breathe some life into our sad little half-empty mall.

Oh and Larry Glass: Are there to be any historical re-enactments in your future? Just remember Davy. The other guys win.

But then you’re probably getting used to that by now.

Three Stooges to make rare radio appearance

You do not want to miss this.

KSLG’s charity event Friday at the Eureka Co-Op will include interviews with three of the county’s biggest knob-jobs–one in power, one out, and one holding on for dear life while his well-worn resume is passed over by every cop shop in Northern California.

According to a KSLG media alert, the schedule is as follows:

8:45am Eureka Police Chief Garr Neilsen will provide a state of the city roundup.

9:45am Former Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass will talk about his time in office.

10:20am Humboldt County DA Paul Gallegos will be on to discuss the recent election and his plans for the future.

Maybe those plans include a major three-way in the parking lot of the Eureka Co-op.

Which would be business as usual for them.

Tune in to 94.1 FM to hear their slap and tickle routine for yourself.

‘Nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose.’

Coming to some lame guerilla street theater shit near you.

Kuhnel goes on the Pierson payroll

 

Hey. No one ever said maintaining a monopoly would be cheap.

After weeks of declining to state publicly his opposition to the Marina Center, Third Ward city council candidate Ron Kuhnel made his stance refreshingly clear when he accepted a $2,000 campaign contribution from the man who stands to gain the most from the project’s continued obstruction.

Bill “the Big Hammer” Pierson previously ponied up two large for First Ward incumbent Larry Glass who, when he’s not lying about his support for the project, studies some of the finer points of American history and tells everyone how he’s chased around town by rich people in Cadillacs, or some such shit. Who knows. Fucker’s nuttier than squirrel crap.

Regardless, so much for the ol’ $500 contribution cap, yes? Apparently the only contributions these two are interested in limiting are their opponents’.

Were Larry Glass heading toward his own political Alamo, would anyone explain to him what that meant?

Re-elect Larry Glass, because entrusting our future to a semi-literate bumpkin has worked out brilliantly so far.

As support for Eureka Ward 1 challenger Marian Brady continues to grow, some are wondering whether the political aspirations of the great Larry Glass may have hit the skids.

How could that be? It seems like only yesterday he was voted the county’s most popular public official. Although by stupid people. Who never met him.

But after his rental ordinance debacle, his breathless support for massive rate hikes, his hopelessly convoluted position on the Balloon Track cleanup, his public–and private–displays of immaturity and his general boorishness, Brady might just teach Glass a lesson he sorely needs.

While it’s far too early for a eulogy, just the thought of a Glassless city council has us waxing nostalgic for 2006 when the CREG spokesman was gearing up for his first run for office.

That’s when he said fun stuff like this: “We think there’s a better way to provide good jobs without handing over control of our future to wealthy elitists.”

Four years later, he still hasn’t figured out what it is.

And this: “It’s time for our City Council to follow the leadership of Peter LaVallee and demand that cleanup” of the Balloon Track.

Four years later, he’s still doing everything he can to stop it.

But our absolute favorite is this: If the Marina Center were built with a Best Buy, Glass said, “I’d be like Davy Crockett at the Alamo.”

Four years later, we wonder if anyone’s told him how that whole Alamo situation ended.

Oh well. Maybe next month he’ll find out.

Humboldt Gothic

Yes, Dynamohum, in truth you could benefit from a PhotoShop class. But so could we!! Regardless, we’re glad the spirit is willing, even if the technical skills are, shall we say, weak. Thanks for sending this along!

They may be homely, but they sure are belligerent.

SHOCKER: Prog blog reports Larry Glass is right about something else

Media darling and terrific dancer

In a development sure to set the blogosphere ablaze, the Humboldt Herald announced that, once again, Larry Glass was right about something, while everyone Larry Glass dislikes was wrong.

This most recent incident comes hard on the heels of previous Humboldt Herald reports that Glass knew something no one else knew, said something no one else had the nuts to say, was calm when everyone around him panicked, and rescued someone no one else would save.

The Herald stated that Glass additionally was brave when everyone else was frightened, and able to stick to a low-carb diet months after everyone else had gone back to pizza and beer.

“This guy is like effing Superman,” said one reader who asked to remain anonymous because he secretly thinks Glass is a boorish dimwit.

“But instead of working for the Daily Planet, Larry’s sending a nonstop stream of self-promotional horseshit to the Herald,” the reader said. “But I’m sure Larry knows what he’s doing. I mean, shit, Larry knows what everyone’s doing. He’s fucking Larry Glass.”

There have been additional unconfirmed reports that Glass has walked on water, healed the blind and raised a handful of old progs from the dead just in time for the June primary.

Glass is also said to have  turned water into wine, which Natalynne DeLapp made short work of.

In related Herald news, Rob Arkley continued his quest for world domination, David Tyson was still an asshole, Linda Atkins wasn’t nearly as unpleasant as she seemed, Bonnie Neely was democracy’s last hope, and Paul Gallegos they’d just as soon not talk about.

Larry Glass wants to punt tough zoo decision to voters

According to the Times-Standard, Larry Glass has secured a spot at tomorrow’s City Council meeting to ask that the fate of the Sequoia Park Zoo’s city-subsidized funding be placed in the hands of voters on an upcoming ballot as the city grapples with the sticky situation of cutting $2.5 million in midyear budget adjustments.

How could we not see this one coming?

Here’s a little reminder of the things that Glass supports and opposes. We’re sure the zoo funding has nothing to do with his hatred for anything related to Rob Arkley, who has donated considerable money to the zoo over the years…

George Clark: Still kind of a dumbfuck

In yesterday’s Times-Standard, failed city council candidate George Clark articulates some of the genius that sent his campaign straight down the ol’ crapper last fall.

A few highlights:

If 75 percent of residents cannot afford home ownership, give them no jobs. That will help.

If the Balloon Track is “essential for growth that actually begins contributing to the local economy,” let it lay vacant and polluted for several decades while you all sit around listening to yourselves talk. Also very helpful.

If “rural cities are limiting infrastructure costs and improving tax bases by expanding the compact lifestyles of their Old Towns to meet the explosion of single households, an aging population, and skyrocketing poverty and foreclosure rates”–well, that’s a nice use of buzz words, friend, but it doesn’t actually mean anything. At all. Really.

And finally, if you run for office and rack up only a couple hundred votes despite the desperate attempts of your handlers and the wads of cash Bill Pierson throws at you, have someone write a thousand words of laughably stupid shit to run in a newspaper under your name.

We keep coming back to one central issue: Lot of people can and do run around talking about their hopes and dreams for the city of Eureka. But all these years later, George, Bonnie, Larry, Pete, Bill, Ken and all their friends whose lives and livelihoods revolve around obstructing productive use of that land have done not one thing to clean it up, have articulated not one plausible plan for the site, and have raised not one dollar to put their plans into action.

All their money, time and attention has gone into making sure no one else does either.

Still no conflict?

He may be dishonest, but he sure is ugly.

So if it’s not a conflict if Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass has a years-long personal vendetta against a developer whose project he’s reviewing,

and not a conflict if Larry founded and fronted a group that exists solely to oppose the project,

and not a conflict if Larry distributed T-shirts and bumper stickers ridiculing the developer and his family,

and not a conflict if Larry personally funded a campaign aimed at undermining support for the development,

and not a conflict if Larry tried (and failed) to pursue criminal charges against the developer,

and not a conflict if Larry’s city council campaign was funded by the man who stands to lose the most if the development is approved,

then probably it’s also not a conflict if Larry serves as a director of an organization that is engaged in litigation against the city he represents, even if that litigation is aimed at reversing a decision of the city council on which Larry sits.

Sounds kind of slutty to us, but it must be legit.

After all, everyone knows how ethical politicians are.

California Native Plant Society
Jen Kalt (Secretary) jkalt@asis.com

Redwood Region Audubon Society
C.J. Ralph theralphs@humboldt1.com

Sierra Club North Group, Redwood Chapter
Felice Pace unofelice@gmail.com

Humboldt Baykeeper
Pete Nichols (President) pete@humboldtbaykeeper.org

Friends of Del Norte
Eileen Cooper upsprout@yahoo.com

Safe Alternatives For Our Forest Environment
Larry Glass lglass@foggy.net

Environmental Protection Information Center
Scott Greacen scott@wildcalifornia.org

At-Large:
Jim Clark (Vice President) dancebirds@sbcglobal.net
Martin Swett (Treasurer) mswett@pacific.net
Bob Morris (Trinity County Representive) bob.morris@wildblu.net

Some don’t like it hot

Tap that glass

Hot Larry

DynamoHum, a Mirror regular and occasional Graphics Department volunteer, sent us an e-mail this morning boasting of a recent accomplishment.

Did he win the lottery? Save the whales? Ink a book deal?

Better.

It came in under the headline “Finally banned from Heraldo.”

I guess I wanted it….but it finally happened. “Hot Larry” did it. I feel so dirty.

Well, friend, you and your extremely rudimentary graphic design skills are always welcome here.

Hugs!!

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