Fear the Beard(s)

The outcomes of several races are still up in the air, but there are a few we know for sure and a couple others we’re reasonably sure of. We were totally planning to wait until the final results were announced, but we’re impulsive and undisciplined, so behold the first Beards of Victory.

Hugs, winner-friends!!

Ravishing, no?

Were Larry Glass heading toward his own political Alamo, would anyone explain to him what that meant?

Re-elect Larry Glass, because entrusting our future to a semi-literate bumpkin has worked out brilliantly so far.

As support for Eureka Ward 1 challenger Marian Brady continues to grow, some are wondering whether the political aspirations of the great Larry Glass may have hit the skids.

How could that be? It seems like only yesterday he was voted the county’s most popular public official. Although by stupid people. Who never met him.

But after his rental ordinance debacle, his breathless support for massive rate hikes, his hopelessly convoluted position on the Balloon Track cleanup, his public–and private–displays of immaturity and his general boorishness, Brady might just teach Glass a lesson he sorely needs.

While it’s far too early for a eulogy, just the thought of a Glassless city council has us waxing nostalgic for 2006 when the CREG spokesman was gearing up for his first run for office.

That’s when he said fun stuff like this: “We think there’s a better way to provide good jobs without handing over control of our future to wealthy elitists.”

Four years later, he still hasn’t figured out what it is.

And this: “It’s time for our City Council to follow the leadership of Peter LaVallee and demand that cleanup” of the Balloon Track.

Four years later, he’s still doing everything he can to stop it.

But our absolute favorite is this: If the Marina Center were built with a Best Buy, Glass said, “I’d be like Davy Crockett at the Alamo.”

Four years later, we wonder if anyone’s told him how that whole Alamo situation ended.

Oh well. Maybe next month he’ll find out.

Baykeeper acts quickly to remove potentially contaminated piles of cash from Balloon Track

Evidently Paykeeper’s definition of “cleaning up” has more to do with money than dioxin, given that Sneaky Pete Nichols is now singing the praises of the same cleanup plan he sued CUE VI to stop.

“We think the plan they put forward is a plan that has been shown to work in the past.” Nichols now tells the Times-Standard.

Probably much the same way Pete’s habit of suing every deep pocket he can find has worked for him.

Our hero.

Democracy cockblocked?

After months of telling us a Marina Center ballot measure would be meaningless, local progs have shifted course and decided instead that Measure N is so important they must sue to prevent voters from considering it.

Their logic?

What else?

That the electorate is too stupid to understand what the measure is all about. Quoth Humboldt Paykeeper Executive Director Pete Nichols:
The voters should know the ramifications of their decisions at the ballot box.

Right. Because we wouldn’t know, for example, that when we vote in favor of something it means that we’re in favor of it. So major news flash there. Elsewhere in the poorly written announcement of the lawsuit Nichols contends:

The public cannot really know what they [sic] are voting about.

Good point. Super good, actually. Because voting to change the zoning of the Balloon Track could mean–wow. Who knows? That we want to change the zoning of the Balloon Track? Or maybe it means we want to change the zoning of the Balloon Track. Hard to know. It’s all so confusing.

Fellow elitist Scott Greacen, EPIC’s executive director, also “wants to make sure Eureka voters understand” the perils of representative democracy. Sometimes, Greacen notes, people “hijack” the “mechanisms of our democracy to serve a single narrow set of financial and political interests.”

Get. The. Fuck. Out. Really?

Case in point, we assume, would be hardware monopolist Bill Pierson’s funding of every anti-Marina Center candidate to stand for office in the past several election cycles.

Or–oh. Was he talking about something else?

Who knows. Frankly, we’re way too dumb to sort it all out.

In a word: Douchepickle

That is a word, isn’t it?

No matter!  Here’s another classic from our good friend the six-term pachyderm courtesy of www.twitter.com/BonBonForever:

Now the Marina Center’s gonna be on the Nov. ballot? Resorting to democracy was kind of a bitch move.

Oh well. She’s been in office for 24 effing years. You can’t expect her to care about representative government.

Quote of the day

Quoth Bonnie Neely in today’s Times-Standard:

“The Pacific Legal Foundation is a Sacramento special interest group funded by big oil and tobacco companies, and I don’t think anybody in Humboldt County trusts them to clean up a toxic site.”

Uh, yeah.

And Bonnie Neely is a washed-up Eureka politician funded by gambling and development interests, and after 24 years of her doing fuck nothing, we don’t think anybody in Humboldt County trusts her to clean up this toxic site.

Or to do anything else productive, for that matter.

Dumb-ass.

Meanwhile, back at the North Coast Journal…

Informed readers are pointing out some logic gaps in Hanky-Panky Sims’ latest prog reach-around. His basic premise: A few senselessly oppositional folk on the left may have fought to block any development project Rob Arkley put forward, but this whole Marina Center shitstorm is still Arkley’s fault because he didn’t consult with them first.

Brilliant!! Because that would have changed everything!

The Town Dandy did get one thing right, though. If the Coastal Commission does block cleanup of the site, the Balloon Track could, as Hank stated, “sit there as is for another 100 years, leaching its ugly self into the Bay, and the Coastal Commission would never say boo.”

That in a nutshell is what an environmentalist victory would look like here.

So yay!! Nobody wins.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 54 other followers