This just in: The North Coast Journal doesn’t like Walmart

Wow. What’s with the North Coast Journal and its anti-Walmart fixation? After secret photo montages and signage alerts, their latest eruption has been over an invitation to a grand opening.

Aaaagh! Scary stuff.

So in between knocking back some PBRs and laughing about Ryan Burns’ concern for Mark Lovelace’s penis, we put together a short list of things the NCJ might think about once the store is open and the world does not, despite their hysterics, come to a barbaric end. They might consider paying attention to:

  1. All the people who are then working and shopping at Walmart, whether or not the NCJ wants them to.
  2. The fact that the NCJ hasn’t been a very good news organization in a long time, and turns out to be an even crappier advocacy group.
  3. Oh and here’s one. Remember news? Yeah. You might think about paying some attention to that.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been in a Walmart. I don’t particularly like the stores and don’t know if I’ll ever have a reason to go into this one. But despite the NCJ’s obsession with the retail giant, no one there has explained why we should all be up in arms about retail activity in a shopping mall. They haven’t clarified why Walmart’s so awful, but Target’s okay, as are Kohl’s, and Sears, and Kmart, etc. In short, they haven’t done shit but point fingers and laugh–which we love! But then we’re not pretending that what we do is news.

‘Occupy Wall Street’ for Dummies

The victim of class warfare on the right can't remember where he left the sign that reads "Occupy the Large Vacant Space Between My Ears," although the snazzy hat conveys roughly the same idea.

For those of you wondering what this “Occupy Wall Street” thing is all about, look no further than the prolific Richard Salzman, who has stepped away from whatever criminal activities he’s on to now to enlighten us.

He explains in a letter to the North Coast Journal that protesters “are using their First Amendment Rights to fight back at the class war that’s been waged for two generations or more by Wall Street bankers and corporate America against working Americans.”

So yay protesters! Because if you can just get all those bad corporations shut down, there will be a lot fewer working Americans to defend.

Thanks!!

North Coast Journal hosts convenient child porn links in Cole Machado child porn story

As traditional ad revenues declined, North Coast Journal Publisher Judy Hodgson encouraged her staff to explore innovative product placement opportunities.

Thank you to the friend who sent this to us! Hugs!!

New NCJ editor not acting all crazy just yet

North Coast Journal Publisher Judy Hodgson appears to have not screwed up anything important in her most recent selection of a new editor.

Hodgson formally announced yesterday that  Carrie Peyton Dahlberg, a Sacramento Bee veteran not everyone in the world hates, would take the helm of the iconic weekly next week.

Peyton Dahlberg replaces Tom Abate, whose six-week tenure began with fascinating radio interviews and glowing “news” stories about the paper’s major advertisers, and ended–inevitably–with involuntary committal.

Peyton Dahlberg, who is not currently on parole and has no restraining orders pending against her, earned a master’s degree from Columbia University’s prestigious Graduate School of Journalism. She has a husband and two cats, all reportedly alive.

About Abate, Hodgson would only say, well, nothing.

Carrie, welcome to Humboldt County. There’s this guy named John Matthews we’re just dying for you to meet.

Short-lived NCJ editor accepts new position as unemployed douchebag

Abate Abated!

And we’re gonna venture a wild-ass guess that the new gig wasn’t exactly his idea.

Either way, good luck to Tom Abate. We suspect he’s going to need it.

While we’re on the subject of “good,” dare we now hope that The Hotness That Is Jennifer Savage will return??

Let it be so! And let the schadenfreude begin!!

Journalistic hotness calls it quits

Hey! Who's the dude?

Fallout from the North Coast Journal debacle continues, with contributor Jennifer Savage bidding the formerly hip weekly a less-than-fond farewell.

In a NCJ letter, Jen notes that her popular column, Savage Money, “would’ve marked its second year in the Journal as of this issue, but given the recent editorial change, I regret my enthusiasm for writing it has waned.”

It would also have marked the second year of her being the hottest journalist in Humboldt County, and despite the recent editorial change, our enthusiasm for her has not waned.

At all.

In fact, we bugs are lined up at Mirror HQ now with our sad faces on just waiting for that little kiss goodbye…

Hugs, friend!!

Photo credit Terrence McNally.

Hank Sims out at the North Coast Journal?

The twttersphere is abuzz with this tantalizing tale, but there has been no official confirmation as of yet.

This morning I was asked for my opinion of the NCJ drams, and said:

Hank’s deep-seated fear of being considered pro-Arkley hindered his objectivity, and I think at times he was unable to see past his own ideological biases. But for all of that, he was funny and obviously enormously intelligent, and he had a very broad sense of Humboldt County, if from a very narrow point of view.

Tom, on the other hand, appears to have spent much of the last few years cultivating a keen interest in Tom, and seems genuinely surprised that the rest of us don’t care about his brief stint here 30 years ago with his ex-wife and paid-for house, or the long list of all the things he knows, or his singing career or pirate impersonations or any of it.

Where Hank listened, Tom won’t shut up. Where Hank recognized and encouraged the intelligence of his staff, Tom participated–gleefully, by all accounts–in what was essentially a hostile takeover of the NCJ’s newsroom.

In Tom we have all of the same biases with none of Hank’s humanity. What I think, ultimately, is that Judy Hodgson just went to great lengths and considerable expense to shit down her own throat.

What’s your take?

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