Secret memo suggests Atkins should be careful when calling her co-workers ‘puppets’

Initially we thought Eureka City Councilwoman Linda Atkins’ comments to the Times-Standard about (former) Police Chief Garr Nielsen’s termination were just uninformed, unprofessional, and paranoid. But, as the note below suggests, they might also have been hypocritical. Holy crap!

SHOCKER: Prog blog reports Larry Glass is right about something else

Media darling and terrific dancer

In a development sure to set the blogosphere ablaze, the Humboldt Herald announced that, once again, Larry Glass was right about something, while everyone Larry Glass dislikes was wrong.

This most recent incident comes hard on the heels of previous Humboldt Herald reports that Glass knew something no one else knew, said something no one else had the nuts to say, was calm when everyone around him panicked, and rescued someone no one else would save.

The Herald stated that Glass additionally was brave when everyone else was frightened, and able to stick to a low-carb diet months after everyone else had gone back to pizza and beer.

“This guy is like effing Superman,” said one reader who asked to remain anonymous because he secretly thinks Glass is a boorish dimwit.

“But instead of working for the Daily Planet, Larry’s sending a nonstop stream of self-promotional horseshit to the Herald,” the reader said. “But I’m sure Larry knows what he’s doing. I mean, shit, Larry knows what everyone’s doing. He’s fucking Larry Glass.”

There have been additional unconfirmed reports that Glass has walked on water, healed the blind and raised a handful of old progs from the dead just in time for the June primary.

Glass is also said to have  turned water into wine, which Natalynne DeLapp made short work of.

In related Herald news, Rob Arkley continued his quest for world domination, David Tyson was still an asshole, Linda Atkins wasn’t nearly as unpleasant as she seemed, Bonnie Neely was democracy’s last hope, and Paul Gallegos they’d just as soon not talk about.

Meanwhile, back at the North Coast Journal…

Informed readers are pointing out some logic gaps in Hanky-Panky Sims’ latest prog reach-around. His basic premise: A few senselessly oppositional folk on the left may have fought to block any development project Rob Arkley put forward, but this whole Marina Center shitstorm is still Arkley’s fault because he didn’t consult with them first.

Brilliant!! Because that would have changed everything!

The Town Dandy did get one thing right, though. If the Coastal Commission does block cleanup of the site, the Balloon Track could, as Hank stated, “sit there as is for another 100 years, leaching its ugly self into the Bay, and the Coastal Commission would never say boo.”

That in a nutshell is what an environmentalist victory would look like here.

So yay!! Nobody wins.

Still no conflict?

He may be dishonest, but he sure is ugly.

So if it’s not a conflict if Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass has a years-long personal vendetta against a developer whose project he’s reviewing,

and not a conflict if Larry founded and fronted a group that exists solely to oppose the project,

and not a conflict if Larry distributed T-shirts and bumper stickers ridiculing the developer and his family,

and not a conflict if Larry personally funded a campaign aimed at undermining support for the development,

and not a conflict if Larry tried (and failed) to pursue criminal charges against the developer,

and not a conflict if Larry’s city council campaign was funded by the man who stands to lose the most if the development is approved,

then probably it’s also not a conflict if Larry serves as a director of an organization that is engaged in litigation against the city he represents, even if that litigation is aimed at reversing a decision of the city council on which Larry sits.

Sounds kind of slutty to us, but it must be legit.

After all, everyone knows how ethical politicians are.

California Native Plant Society
Jen Kalt (Secretary) jkalt@asis.com

Redwood Region Audubon Society
C.J. Ralph theralphs@humboldt1.com

Sierra Club North Group, Redwood Chapter
Felice Pace unofelice@gmail.com

Humboldt Baykeeper
Pete Nichols (President) pete@humboldtbaykeeper.org

Friends of Del Norte
Eileen Cooper upsprout@yahoo.com

Safe Alternatives For Our Forest Environment
Larry Glass lglass@foggy.net

Environmental Protection Information Center
Scott Greacen scott@wildcalifornia.org

At-Large:
Jim Clark (Vice President) dancebirds@sbcglobal.net
Martin Swett (Treasurer) mswett@pacific.net
Bob Morris (Trinity County Representive) bob.morris@wildblu.net

Who says government isn’t efficient?

Peter Douglas, Bill Pierson and the now-infamous nooner. Smile, friends!!

Within 24 hours of the filing of the last of three appeals challenging the city of Eureka’s approval of the Balloon Track interim cleanup plan, the California Coastal Commission published a surprisingly thorough 82-page legal and environmental analysis of the plan, along with the expected recommendation that the appeals be heard.

Weird, huh?

You don’t think maybe the commission got some kind of head start on that, do you?

Hmm?

Couldn’t be.

Even if one appellant was the commission’s lawyer for 20 years.

Or if the commission’s chair previously gave the appellant a job.

Or the appellant’s daughter is a commission staffer.

Or another appellant employs the first appellant.

Or two other appellants are current commissioners.

Or the commission’s executive director is a personal friend of the man whose business would be most affected by the Marina Center development.

No, those factors just make their achievement that much more impressive: It’s amazing they get anything done with that massive circle jerk they’ve got going.

Arkley, Glass autograph baseballs to raise money for Eureka Reporter

Citing declining circulation and ad figures, billionaire and Eureka Reporter owner Robin Arkley II and Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass held a joint press conference Friday to outline an aggressive new revenue partnership to turn the tide on what they called “those smug bastards” at the Times-Standard.

The plan involves auctioning authentic Major League baseballs that have been signed by both Arkley and Glass, Arkley’s longtime friend and business associate, with the bulk of the proceeds going to pay down accumulated debt at the troubled newspaper.

“Larry and I market-tested this last year and found that these balls will retail in the $400 range,” Arkley said. “At that rate, we’d have to sell only about 5,000 balls a year to break even.”

Glass said he fully supports the venture and is pleased that the partners’ promotional event at Avalon in September raised awareness of the new product line.

“Oh he pushed me, he pushed me,” Glass laughed. “It was too easy. We’re on the front page of both newspapers like what, 20 times? And next thing you know, everyone in town is talking about our balls.”

Arkley said the cash infusion would finance significant internal improvements at the Reporter to make the struggling newspaper-like publication more closely resemble an actual newspaper.

Specific proposals include redesigning the paper’s recent web redesign so that it sucks less, and bumping up e-Paper subscriptions into the triple digits.

“If this works the way we think it will,” Arkley said, “pretty soon we’ll have as many readers as the Humboldt Mirror.”

Glass, widely known for his activist and charity work, said he was donating his time to help his friend. But Arkley plans to buy Glass a 2008 black Cadillac Escalade, “so he can chase his own paranoid ass around the courthouse,” Arkley said.

Sale of the men’s balls is expected to begin in March.

Related post: Avalon restaurant adds instant replay to menu

Avalon restaurant adds instant replay to menu

Succumbing to public pressure, Avalon owner Beverley Wolfe confirmed Friday that she is installing instant replay video equipment at her Third Street restaurant in Eureka.

Wolfe made the announcement following the controversial on-field call by state and local officials that there was insufficient evidence to determine whether billionaire Robin Arkley II pushed Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass during a Coastal Commission reception at Avalon in September.

The ruling, confirmed this week when the California Attorney General’s Office declined to file charges against Arkley, divided the community and sparked renewed demands for the mandatory use of play review at all upscale restaurants.

“The big argument against using IR has always been unnecessary game delay,” Wolfe said. “There’s no getting around the fact that drawn out booth reviews can result in the loss of dining momentum.”

To explain, Wolfe cited what she called the “dramatic tension” that builds between the soup and fish courses.

“Fine dining, like any other potentially violent sporting event, is all about timing,” she said. “But quality restaurants that have gone to IR have learned that use of the system has extended meal times by an average of only 72 seconds, and momentum loss can be minimized by well-timed drink refills.”

Red challenge flags made of Peruvian doeskin will be issued to all patrons upon entry, Wolfe said. She hopes to have the system up and running in time for the Humboldt All Faith Partnership mixer in March.

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