New salvo launched in battle of D-list blogs

A veteran blogger attempted to destroy a couple of young upstarts Tuesday night by driving unmanageable amounts of traffic to the fledgling rivals’ web log.

“I’ll admit it, we’re in full-blown crisis mode right now,” said a Humboldt Mirror spokesman, who spoke with the Humboldt Mirror on condition of anonymity.

“Joel Mielke of the Eureka Standard accused us of having ‘way-better mastheads’—a charge we categorically deny—but the allegation has caused new page views in the high single digits to flood our servers and override our state-of-the-art security systems,” the spokesman said.

In Mielke’s post, he warned the Mirror that as many as 23 of his 41 daily readers had visited the new site, with up to six or seven additional visits anticipated.

“Not on my watch,” the Mirror spokesman shot back. “We will languish for years in obscurity if it’s the last thing we do.”

Reached by phone Wednesday morning, Mielke claimed to be “unaware” of the flap, but said he would put up a new post containing a photo of a super-cute vicious pit bull, “just to show that there are no hard feelings on our side.”

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18 Responses

  1. Don’t sell yourself short. You are C-list.

  2. What? C-list already? Golf claps! And a complimentary round of sexual favors for all of our loyal friends. That includes you, Mousness. Get some!

  3. Humbug, your list of random categories underneath the post is probably the funniest thing I have seen in a looooong time. Bravo

  4. get some what? sexual favors or loyal friends? I don’t think I care for your insinuation that i am some pathetic loser without friends sitting here reading blogs all day….

  5. We’re sure you have plenty of both. Really!

  6. I have a D cup.

  7. Just one? We’re so sorry.

  8. No fuck-ass. Two. Jeez.

  9. Our mistake! It’s just that we had a friend with only one, quite a large one at that, but it wasn’t so bad because it was frightfully well centered–perhaps not precisely in the middle, but not too far off either, and we both thought it worked rather well for her. She would slap up a brooch on the other side–said it drew the eye–and no one was the wiser.

  10. Uh….. WHAT???

  11. WAIT, WAit, wait. On second thought, please do not explain further. Please.

  12. I once saw a woman with a B-3. Man, what an organ.

  13. Joel thinks everyone has better mastheads.

  14. He has Masthead Envy.

  15. Laughing this hard is bad for my health!

  16. I’m tempted by all of the e-mail offers to enlarge my masthead.

    Ooops, my Nigerian friend is here.
    I gotta go.

  17. knock, knock…Mr. Ranger…I have your check from the British Commoners Fiscal Bank of Austria. Will you please sign for it? Mr…Ranger…Mr. Ranger…??? May I interest you in these A-1 Fuller brushes instead? They are exceptional cordial quality with upstanding soap dispenser. You are chosen for your fairness.

  18. What’s this? The Carson Park Villain has friends? NOT ON THIS BLOG. Grrrrrrrrrr.

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