Maybe this is one of those things like string theory or Wonkavision that makes a shit-ton more sense when you’re drinking. But we’re between cocktail hours at the Humboldt Mirror–and frankly, we’re confused.
Our favorite Community Development Disservices director, Kirk Girard, provided a positively zen explanation Tuesday of that whole TPZ planning commission report dust-up in which his staff failed to include the back half of a law that clearly allows residential building on land zoned for timber production while citing the front half of the same law which restricts such building.
Boring stuff? You bet. But sometimes the devil really is in the details.
The Board of Supes has made no secret of its desire to further restrict TPZ building in its now eight years overdue General Plan Update, which will undoubtedly appear one day when we least expect it—like the Messiah, perhaps, or genital herpes.
But local TPZ owners were quick to note that the tighter restrictions did not yet exist, and they could build on their property if they damn well please.
Not so, said Girard, and pulled out his half-law to prove it. That he was caught only added to the general uproar, a distinctly non-nirvanic melee that saw hundreds of TPZ owners disrupting meetings and marching down Fifth Street carrying signs.
So at the board meeting Tuesday, Girard went ahead and cleared the whole thing up in a speech that gave the Four Noble Truths a definite run for their money.
- Planning commission reports have historically been too legalistic for the general public.
- Citing only half of a law reduces the legalism–by around 50 percent, we’re guessing–even when the part you omit is contrary to the part you include.
- Planning commissioners didn’t need the other half. They needed only the first half which was counter to what they thought they knew but didn’t.
- The first half was contradicted by the second half they actually did know and, therefore, didn’t need.
And that was that. So Grasshopper! We love it. We see without seeing. We get and not-get. And in the stillness of the mind-self, we can actually hear the sound of one hand clapping.
Filed under: Humboldt County Tagged: | Community Development Disservices Director, douchebag and not-douchebag, enlightened job search, Four Noble Truths, genital herpes, get and not-get, Kirk Girard, one hand clapping, positively zen, so Grasshopper, stillness of the mind-self, string theory, TPZ, Wonkavision