Dear Design Friends,
Thank you for your prompt response to our recent request for new masthead photos for the Humboldt Mirror. Unfortunately, we cannot put your amusing and obviously inebriated voicemail on the blog for our readers to see, as it is a sound recording and not a photograph as was requested.
Certainly your message was visually descriptive, so much so that we are left to wonder whether marijuana might be in general use among the design staff, or if there is another explanation for your spotty attendance and uneven performance, not to mention the extraordinary amount of traffic the Mirror receives each day from a hydroponics shop in Redway. (Free ad space, happy chiefers! No need to thank us. You earned it!!)
We’ve heard it before—everyone in the media smokes dank. Okay. We get it. But the hardworking reporters at the Times-Standard manage to set down the blunts long enough to put out a newspaper every morning, with time left over to visit the Mirror a couple dozen times a day.
And what are they looking for? Is it our trademark satire? Our rapier wit? Don’t be silly. Like everyone, they want fresh photos of Bonnie Neely in new and increasingly disparaging contexts.
Meanwhile, over at the Eureka Reporter, veteran journalo Nathan Rushton is writing several stories a day—and still finding time to reach “Super Shit Master” level of the addictive Catch-a-Poo game we linked to yesterday.
How do we know this? Are we psychic? We are not. The enterprising Mr. Rushton sent us a screen shot of his accomplishment (89 out of 100 poos, in case you’re curious), probably while blazing a fatty in the news room.
The point is, friends, productivity. This is key. We would like to get just one fucking dime bag of production out of you in the course of an eight-hour day. Is this too much to ask? We think not.
Very Truly Yours,
The Humboldt Mirror Senior Management Team
Filed under: Humboldt County Tagged: | Catch-a-Poo, fucking dime bag of production, happy chiefers, new and increasingly disparaging contexts, put this in your Cuban cigar and smoke it, Super Shit Master Nathan Rushton