Second and Third District candidates for the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors showed off their verbal wizardry Thursday at a competitive poetry jam attended by hundreds of potential voters.
But the event, sponsored by the League of Women Poets, wasn’t all fun and games.
The poetry jam raised almost a dollar for the Perpetual Campaign to Continuously Re-elect Bonnie Neely, which was apparently in need of both an envelope and a stamp so that the six-term supervisor could at long last respond to Third District candidate Bryan Plumley’s request for a meeting.
But it was another Third District candidate, Paul Pitino, who walked off with the event’s grand prize for this piece:
“No contributions
And no campaign endorsements
Maybe not so smart”
League President Marsha McBusybody called all of the haiku “powerful,” but said Pitino’s was especially moving.
“Like all great art, Paul’s work was transcendent,” McBusybody said. “In a very few words, we were made to understand the smallness of man, the vastness of his ambition and the vividly distinct possibility that Paul Pitino will mow lawns for a living until the day he dies.”
The other electoral haiku are listed below in alphabetical order by the candidate’s last name.
I love Indians
Local Solutions bought me
Blue Lake paid the bill-Clif Clendenen, Second District
Unemployed DJ
Seventy thousand a year
Buys a lot of weed-Estelle Fennell, Second District
Need a real job
Plan B is running Palco
I’d suck at that too-Mark Lovelace, Third District
What sets me apart?
A Democrat with a job
Rare in Arcata-Bryan Plumley, Third District
Hey you two-bit whores
Want to talk about apples?
Mine are fucking huge-Roger Rodoni, Second District
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: biggest apples in the county, Bon Bon hates Plumley so we love him, Bryan Plumley, Clif Clendenen, electoral haiku, Estelle Fennell, evidently "haiku" is the plural of "haiku", Mark Lovelace, only award Pitino has ever won, Paul Pitino, Roger Rodoni, the whole thing was rigged |
Another one from Marky Mark:
Before you I stand
A lispy wee crusader
Vote for me or die
Who you support for 3rd district. Oh, it’s pretty obvious isn’t it.
Yes, Jane Doe. It is obvious. Neither you nor we would have nearly this much fun if blogging was supposed to be subtle.
Anonymous 8:08 Who does Ms. Heraldo of the Humboldt Heraid support for 3rd. District? It’s pretty obvious isn’t it……..what a dumb ass.
I had to go home and change my shirt, blew coffee all over it after reading this one. Thanks for the smile this morning.
im no capitalist
i get ranchland for a song
in exchange for favors
roger rodoni
Why does Jane Doe always try to act like she’s not Jane Doe when she comes to this blog? Isn’t she the same person always castigating other bloggers for not sticking with a consistent pseudonym? Fucking hypocrite.
You’re off slightly, Theo. the meter goes 5-7-5. I think you did 6-7-6. Otherwise fun.
i make money off pot
big envelopes full of cash
being in power is nice
roger rodoni
i LOVE maxxam corp
even though they screwed the workers
its all about me
roger rodoni
was wee wee now look at me big pee pee/ moni mark
Anonymous 8:08 Who does Ms. Heraldo of the Humboldt Heraid support for 3rd. District? It’s pretty obvious isn’t it……..what a dumb ass.
Be careful brian! I tried to imply that The Hearald was endorsing Lovelace, and despite all of the love Lovelace is getting, it is not an endorsement. Standard horse shit from a blogger who won’t come out and say he endorses Lovelace, but yet posts stories singing his praises.
I think that Heraldo won’t endorse Lovelace on the off chance that a photo pops up with Mark and Arkley locking lips, err, shaking hands. This way, Heraldo can destroy Mark on his blog, all while saying he never endorsed the guy.
smart, or chicken shit?
-boy (never afraid to post with my proper blog name)
Aw Theo. Now you did 5-8-5. Oh well. Close enough.
Boy – I just call “Heraldo” the “Humboldt Watershed Council blog.”
Where has Jane been?
Which one is Jane Doe?
Anonymous | IP: 24.22.102.155
Which one is Jane Doe?
Jane Doe | IP: 24.22.102.155
Gosh, Jane. We think it would be you. See how that works?
LOL too funny. My IP address but wrong name.
🙂
🙂
🙂
LOL
Gosh, Jane. We’re convinced. It so isn’t you, clever girl.
I will confess that a few months ago everyone here accused me of being Jane Doe so I posted as Jane Doe. You are such a fool to think you can assign an IP address to an anonymous poster who types in just any name. You are so paranoid.
i call it paranoia to think that a blogger named “heraldo” can control the elections. thats a funny notion, but one that comes out of intense fear……..
Jane–no one cares. Just go the fuck away.
I am now, and I have never been, Jane Doe.
Now. if you wish to take a peek at my IP adDRESS, please put more money into the machine after the curtain closes.
Who thinks Heraldo could control the elections? I wouldn’t trust the guy (or gal) with a sharp stick.
the voters control the election……the fact that you dont trust a person that youve never met is irrelevant…or is it paranoia?
No, I am now and have never been Jane Doe.
Heraldo blogger
You put the fear in their hearts
Keep free speech alive
theo’s haiku about heraldo
I’d call it pretty astute after reading that asinine shit off and on for a couple dreary years.
You do realize that all Jane has to do to “disprove” the her earlier anon posts were her is to skeedaddle on down to one of her friend’s houses, or lacking any, which is likely, go to the library and post from their and say “nah nah” That wasnt me – HERE I am.
I’m not actually seeing the fear, Theo. Your obsession with fear, yes. Actual fear, no.
I am in power
Endorsements mean everything
I say who will win
Heraldo
Heraldo Insane
Smears anyone on the right
Mark L Sacred Cow…
LOL
the right? youve got to be kidding. NO ONE is on the right these days. being right-wing means wanting less government interference in the economy. right-wing ideals call for a SMALLER national government and MORE states rights. on both the national and local level, right-wing ideals have been abandonded completely.
Bugs, block that ass munch Jane Doe already.
Heraldo smears anyone who doesn’t agree with his/her narrow-minded far-left ideology. He/She is most famous for smearing people who largely agree with him/her but won’t go that one last step to outright extremism.
Think happy poetry, friends! Haiku, Alexandrian couplets, maybe even a naughty limerick or two–but let’s think poetic for the rest of the day, shall we?
And unhappy cop-haters, please stop posting your advertisements to our site. We’re not feeling your struggle. Thanks.
The Magic Humbug
Why would they call you a louse?
Long Live the Bon Bon!
the right? youve got to be kidding. NO ONE is on the right these days. being right-wing means wanting less government interference in the economy. right-wing ideals call for a SMALLER national government and MORE states rights. on both the national and local level, right-wing ideals have been abandonded completely.
Ya see, this is the shit that pisses me off. The party of child rapists, also known as the Republican party, has never been about smaller government, it’s been about fucking over the American people to get as much dirty money into your pocket as possible.
The Republican brand is the brand of thieves, of sexual deviance so nasty, the leaders in the Catholic church are shaking their heads.
Since that dipshit fool Reagan took office, we have seen an endless parade of charlatans stealing from the American people, in fact, asswipe McCain was in on all of it, the fucking thief.
Republicans are the party of sexual repression and wannabe theocrats who believe Jesus really does care if they fuck the neighbors dog while the wife wears a diaper.
Fuck the right wing, fuck the Republicans and fuck that dry-drunk cokehead fuck who stole an election in 2000.
The fucking nerve of some people, after 7 years of criminal activity, to post something about the nobility of the “right.”
Newcomer fuckwad
Shoebag jackhammer buttwipe
The banjo bozo
Boy most likely to
Is one of our closest friends!!
Big hugs from the bugs!
And the rest of y’all….
wow, ouch, snap, etc.
Fucking piss shit bitch
Blow my dirty old she-goat
You cock-sucking shits
Okay then, friends. That certainly is, uh, poetic! We guess as long as the meter is right we can let it slide…..
Looking in mirror
we only see our own flaws
and then project them
I didn’t know Bush was a cokehead. The things you learn on blogs.
Looking in mirror
we only see our own flaws
and then project them
Jane, you un-artistic buffoon. It is “we see only,” not “we only see.” Work on that.
Someone’s repeating herself and needs to be blocked.
The right wing is dead
george bush is a socialist
The sheep will vote red
theo’s haiku about the current “right wing”
george bush loves jesus
jesus was a known leftist
the government grows larger
who would jesus bomb?
he said, turn the other cheek
bush drops bombs for “peace”
Nice ones, Theo!! That’s the spirit!
tax breaks for the top
let the middle class buy bombs
the lower class grows
the right wing’s big plan
free prescription drugs for everyone!!
socialist stupor
Hate-Filled Humboldt Blue
Very Progressive of him
Reagan Wall No More
states rights? ha, who cares?
consolidated power
Big Brother knows best
Hate-Filled Humboldt Blue
Very Progressive of him
Reagan Wall No More
thank gosh its friday
too much work to pay taxes
the rich have it good
rich man is in hell
cant he get into heaven?
jesus says no way
the taxman cometh
april 15th is nearby
my money buys bombs
estelle on the air
rodoni on the ranchland
who is mark lovelace?
will i even vote?
only if heraldo says
i am a robot
is it quiting time?
my boss would really hate this
im still on the clock
Fucking off all day
Screwing around on the blogs
Now it’s drinking time
GO AWAY THEO THERME -we don’t like you….quit posting a thousand goddamn times (or get your own blog)
do you hate haiku?
go away! we dont like you!
must have hit a nerve
theo’s haiku about 4:32
theo therme must have a government job.
im corporate scum
i once worked for the county
a job is a job
theo’s haiku about brian
We love Theo. Post all you want, brotha.
General Bon Bon
Where is your little birdie?
Poo Poo on your stars
-boy
yes I go down/ but whinny libs gobble too/marks lower yet
You’re gettin’ good at that Theo!
Worked all yesterday
Missed all the blogging fun
What will Monday bring?
Funny Humboldt bugs-
Entertained dressing Bonnie
Like to stir it up
Fennell is our gal
Rodoni’s teflon stetson
and Clif’s aw-shucks suck.
Carol!!! So nice to see you after a long and painful absence. We missed you!! And, as an aside, we couldn’t help noticing the link from your website’s blogroll to the humble Mirror is, well, not in evidence. Have we been jilted and just don’t know it? Say it isn’t so, sister. You know we’re a little bit in love….
Hi bugsters! You noticed!!! Well, I am over being mad at you two, cute buggies. I told Greg to put you back on the blog roll, although he may be slightly jealous of our “relationship”.
Removed the Humbugs
Carol was a wee bit miffed –
Greg, put them back on!
Oh, all right. But the next time you get mad at a bug I want a cooling-off period before I delete a link.
Blue Humbugs are cute!
My favorite avatar
In Humboldt County.
Girlfriend–So we’re back together again? This is the best day ever!! Listen, love, Greg doesn’t even need to know! Our little blue lips are sealed. Promise!!
XOXOXO
No, I don’t keep secrets from Greg. And Greg isn’t interested in making love with bugs.
But let’s stay friends forever!
xoxoxo
Hey, these guys aren’t even Love Bugs!
BTW, I have been sneaking over to your place via Fred’s and Carson Park Rangers’ links.
😉
filthy insects! anyway, your link is back up over at our place.
Hey, I LIKE insects. Yum!
Oh shit, Carol. We think that Greg guy might be onto us. And Turtle–good god you’re right!! We’ve got a natural predator right here in our home!!! Thank heavens he can’t move very fast….