We haven’t been this flummoxed by anything the mailman brought since that time a few years back when a six-digit federal tax refund check was mistakenly delivered to our address. (Don’t be silly, friends. Of course we opened it! Then, with considerable reluctance, we returned it to the IRS.)
But yesterday’s mailbox moment was altogether different. We and pretty much everyone else in the county received a six-panel glossy brochure, from which we learned that Humboldt County’s prosperous future is all but guaranteed, because—wait for it—our very own Mark Lovelace is very much on the job.
His Community Forestry Team, a group that has left no record of its existence except as a front-organization for a single land-acquisition scheme, promises “community stability for Humboldt County’s future by providing a permanent balance of timber jobs and environmental protection.”
And how does it intend to achieve this?
Oh. Well. There we go with the questions.
The truth is, we don’t actually know, because the brochure, entitled “Humboldt’s Future HANGS IN THE BALANCE,” is surprisingly lacking in the specifics department.
The Community Forestry Team is itself part of a larger ad hoc organization called The Great Redwood Forest, which also left no trace of existence prior to Tuesday when its website domain name was registered.
So what is The Great Redwood Forest?
The brochure tells us it is “a vision of conservation organizations, timberland and mill owners, forest industry workers and local Humboldt County residents.”
And what are its plans?
We return to the brochure for the answer to that important question. “The Great Redwood Forest is a vision of permanent protection that will provide timber jobs for current and future generations, as well as a community ownership stake to promote sustainable forest management.”
And how does it intend to do that? What are its funding sources? How much money does it have? Does it propose to buy Palco’s timberlands at auction? If so, what happens to the mill? What is its business model? Where is its business plan? How much timber will it harvest each year? How many timber and mill workers will it employ? Which of the reorganization plans under consideration does it back? Would it operate as a nonprofit? If so, what happens to the average $1.5 million Humboldt County receives each year in property taxes from Palco?
In response to these questions we are referred again to “The Great Redwood Forest vision” and a website equally lacking in concrete detail. In fact, attorneys for the Nature Conservancy successfully fought to block release of that information on the same day its website, ostensibly created to answer such questions, was registered.
But the brochure was printed with the blessings of the Graphic Communications International Union on Forest Stewardship Council-certified card stock using genuine soy ink, so it’s all good.
The future of one of Humboldt County’s most important resources does indeed HANG IN THE BALANCE, but what we are offered by the Lovelace consortium are visions and soy ink, courtesy of an organization that has existed for four days.
Not to piss on anyone’s parade or anything, but these are worth less to us than a $324,655 tax refund check made payable to some rich dude in San Jose.
Filed under: Humboldt County Tagged: | a flaming bag of shit would've been more exciting, Community Forestry Team, four-day-old organization, Mark Lovelace: Still a nimrod, somebody please get that guy a job, surprisingly light on the details, thank God for the soy ink, The Great Redwood Forest, The Pacific Lumber Company, totally fucking flummoxed, we got yer vision right here