Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos extended an already impressive losing streak of appellate decisions in his lawsuit against the Pacific Lumber Company when the California Supreme Court denied on Wednesday his fourth—and final—appeal of the case.
“I know a lot of people out there are saying I’m a choad and a fucktard for losing this case yet again, but I don’t see it that way at all,” Gallegos said. “I actually think I broke important new ground by proving over and over again what a sound legal argument is not.”
The district attorney said he remains hopeful that important legislative changes will result from the suit.
“What I need are some laws that allow me to successfully sue people simply because I feel like it. I mean, you’ve seen how I operate in criminal court, right? Like that, only with bullshit lawsuits instead of bullshit criminal charges.”
But Gallegos acknowledged that he had exhausted all legal remedies, and his prospects at this point were limited.
“Clearly the only appeal I have left is my sex appeal, which has receded in recent years along with my hairline.”
When contacted for a response, Palco attorney Frank Bacik stopped laughing long enough to say he was “pleased the case is resolved.”
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: a choad and a fucktard, also very boring, ass-cookie of a lawsuit, California Supreme Court, elected douchebag, exhausted his appeal(s), giant bag of suck, Hello Mandrake?, judicial enema, Pacific Lumber Company, Paul Gallegos, prosecution not fraud, PVG pipe-spanking, receding hairline, sorry Ken!, supremely hosed, total ass-cork |