A local couple confirmed on Tuesday the worst fears of many when it announced that its marriage had been “completely wrecked” by the huge number of gay and lesbian couples in California who began lining up to take their wedding vows when so-called “gay marriage” became legal Monday afternoon.
“Our holy matrimony now basically blows,” said the Eureka husband, who spoke with the Humboldt Mirror on condition of anonymity.
His wife of nine years agreed.
“My best friend and I both married our high school sweethearts just to piss off our parents. And now it turns out we could have pissed them off so much more if we’d held out a few years and married each other instead,” she said. “It’s devastating, really.”
“That’s what everyone means when they talk about the underpinnings of marriage being destroyed by this bullshit court ruling,” her husband said.
“It’s the passing of the American way of life,” he said. “It wasn’t so long ago that women submitted to their husbands, black people knew their place, and homos took their involuntary electroshock treatments without all the whining. Now look where we are.”