Burn clinic filled with local hair salon patrons

Lightening causes fires throughout Humboldt County,” according to the headline of a Times-Standard story Sunday.

We always suspected going blond couldn’t be healthy, but who knew it caused fires?

Salon patrons who darkened their hair instead fared much better. Six gagged from noxious fumes, but none burst into flames or choked to death while laughing at the huge number of mistakes in the Times-Standard’s story.

16 Responses

  1. Yeah, but do the burning curtains match the rug?

  2. Now we know – heraldo writes the TS headlines. LOL
    Lightening causes fires throughout Humboldt County (TS)
    Solstice lightening (heraldo)

  3. I think Heraldo fixed hers.

  4. We quit. There is no pleasing some people. How hard is it to have Bonnie Neely’s head on fire? Really fucking hard, by the way.

  5. Yeah, uh, Graphics Dept.? You can’t quit, because you’re fired. That’s the gayest fire we’ve ever seen in our lives. It’s so gay it could marry itself. Oh we know, yeah, fire’s hard. What the fuck ever. Maybe if you weren’t drunk all the time you wouldn’t suck so hard.

  6. Wonder just what color the Bon Bon’s hair really is? Maybe after ashe flakes off, not unlike her usual case of world class dandruff, we will see.

    [Comment edited.]

  7. Bummer. The Times Standard fixed the headline. Too bad. It was fun while it lasted.

  8. No worries. The “clouds of smokes” are still there, and Julie Ranieri’s name is still misspelled. Twice.

  9. I love that the errors were in the print edition too. Top story, right side of the front page. Maybe the ol’ TS needs to do some staff “lightening” to get rid of reporters who can’t spell.

  10. Would getting rid of reporters who can’t spell get rid of Heraldo?

  11. it would be very nice if you would provide a link to graphics so we could copy some of the great images to put on letters to the board of sups.

  12. HumRED, we’d love to send you some of the more successful images of Bonnie for future Supervisor letterhead, but we already had to clear out our desks on our last day Sunday.

    They’re gone.

    Bonnie Dicknose was probably one of our proudest, but most disturbing moments. There really isn’t anything rewarding about cruising gay porn sites looking for the “perfect” member.

    Yet, somehow we pulled it off, so to speak. And now this fire debacle. We’re through. Wish us luck, we hope to resurface somewhere else soon.

  13. Oh quit yer bitching. You can have your jobs back–at the same lavish rate.

  14. yay!

  15. You should unionize Mirror Graphics.

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s