Confirmed: Gundersen attorney desperately seeking venue change

Local defense attorney Russ Clanton confirmed Friday that he is seeking a more hospitable venue for the trial of former Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen, who remains in custody on 30 felony charges related to his alleged drugging and raping of a handful of his current and former wives.

Clanton said he chose July 4 to confirm the rumors District Attorney Paul Gallegos had leaked to the Times-Standard earlier last week because of the day’s symbolism, and because the terms of Clanton’s retainer allow him to bill double-time on national holidays.

Clanton added that he had made a list of venues in which he believes the alleged crimes of his client would be more favorably viewed.

These include 17th-Century New England, Warren Jeffs’ polygamist ranch, the movie set of “Super Troopers,” and in whatever jurisdiction Gallegos is vacationing during the trial.

14 Responses

  1. Littering and..
    Littering and..
    Littering and..

  2. I think the set of “Reno 911!” would be even better. Gundersen reminds me of the fellow who wears those shorts.

  3. Brilliant. That way Gags can’t avoid trying this total piece of shit case himself.

  4. They’re back! Where’ve you been? I guess that’s none of my business, but I miss you little buggers when you’re gone. New imitators seem to spring up every day, but you guys are the funniest by far.

  5. Oh snap! No wonder R. Trent hates you guys so much that he had to devote an entire blog entry to demonstrating how hard it is to do what you do by doing it so badly himself. That was right after the blog entry he devoted to himself because, after all, he is the most narcissistic person on the planet. What a POS.

  6. That is so f’ing funny 8:35!

    That blog…I checked it and R.Trent’s lame attempt is pathetic. As for narcissistic, well that is the understatement of the year.

  7. There was an old man named “R.Trent,”
    Whose political aspires were hellbent
    If it weren’t for the fact
    He was a political hack
    His time would have been better spent.

    But “R.Trent’s” lies were exposed by the Hankster,
    Who himself was a bit of a prankster.
    His deceit was thus seen
    “R.Trent’s” now a has been
    Who’s considered a mega-disaster.

    But “R.Trent” has created a new name
    Doggerelface is his new claim to fame.
    But his rhyming’s so bad
    That the blogster’s are mad
    His attempts are demonstrably lame.

    So now “R.Trent’s” exposed once again
    Seems his low points will never see end.
    But since he is now nuetered
    And can find no more suitors
    The public will be on the mend.

  8. But R. Trent remains such a dweeb
    Pathetic to no end indeed
    He is shunned by the good
    He’s not misunderstood
    But is seen as just nasty and mean.

    Now it seems “R.Trent” can’t really taunt
    His feeble attempts simply aren’t
    Anything that could trouble
    The good folks in Humboldt
    He must face facts – he’s simply not smart.

    But that’s not to say he has no use
    For sure he can shine all our shoes
    If he simply can tell
    Shit for shinola – well
    Maybe that’s better left to his pooch.

  9. That’s the stupid chick who gave me a parking ticket last Thursday. Except she didn’t look so disheveled and unkept.

  10. Well I’m on jury duty next week and I assure all of you that I have not read a word about this!

  11. i love the spectacle of gallegos and clanton trying this case in another county whose jury
    members are looking at each other aghast saying
    “this guy’s the elected da, and the other guy is the best the cop can hire? we are soooo staying
    away from Humboldt.”

  12. I it keeps the tourists alway from humboldt at least Paul will have served the community one time as DA.

  13. Hi Bugs,

    Glad to have you back; can we change the photo subject regularly between the BONSTER and GIRARDO and LOVELUSS and that little (and yes, it IS little)Care-I-Gain? For those times that are slow news days etc. the variety would be more fun than heck to poke at. Just a thought.

    Don’t go no where – we love ya!

  14. Sooooo hot! Soo hot in that uniform. My hand is trembling wondering what dainties you wear under those strong threads. YUM! YUM! YUM!

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