And now a few words from the Too Goddamn Much Information department

At the end of an otherwise uninspired account of the trial of former Blue Lake Police Chief David Gundersen, the Times-Standard quoted District Attorney Paul Gallegos making the following candid admission:

“I don’t get to have sex with my wife whenever she doesn’t say ‘no.'”

While you take a moment to let that sink in, let’s go multiple choice to see if we can come up with an appropriate context for this startlingly personal remark.

Without referring to the article, was our illustrious district attorney:

  • A. complaining
  • B. man-talking with his buds over shots at the Shanty
  • C. discussing a law he’d like to challenge with another of his groundbreaking lawsuits
  • D. interrogating an alleged victim of a felony
  • E. none of the above.

That’s right!! The correct answer is E–none of the above. Gallegos actually plagiarized the remark from a Jodie Foster film in an attempt to appeal to female voters.

So awesome. Chick-flicks rule!!

29 Responses

  1. Yeah I caught that too. Way beyond weird. I must say I could have gone my whole life without ever hearing a single reference to his sex life. The only real question now is who’s going to foot the bill for my therapy?

  2. Joan will pay for it…she’s the one dumb enough to marry that [douchebag].

  3. You forgot options F and G, “surfing” and “vacationing.” Those are his usual contexts. I’m amazed he’s been in the office long enough this month to fuck up so many things.

  4. Ooh, Birdie. Love you and all that, but we’re going to have to moderate that one just a tad. Thanks, friend.

  5. The remark in and of itself is true enough. But you’re right. It sounds really creepy coming from him.

  6. “I don’t get to have sex with my wife whenever she doesn’t say ‘no.’”

    The sentence contains a double negative and really reads like so:

    “I don’t get to have sex with my wife when she says yes”.


    “I get to have sex with my wife whenever she doesnt say no”

    So, i would have to say that OPTION A complaining, is my answer….

  7. Nice one, ex.

  8. IT’S TOO CONVOLUTED TO DECIPHER! He’s been going into great detail about his ‘victim’s’ sex life – why was the Midnight Express moment even relevant?

    So, is Gallegos’ wife supposed to say YES BEFORE they – – – or – – I just can’t go there.

  9. I just lost my lunch reading this post. Thanks a lot.

  10. If he’s hanging with his baykeeper buddy then they surely follow the Kennedy model. Don’t fuck’em till they can’t say anything. I think he’s making Freudian slips.

  11. 9:31 said:
    “Don’t fuck’em till they can’t say anything.”

    stop with the double negatives!!!!

    so……we should fuck em till they say something?

  12. Ex, you ain’t paying attention to your proggie policy procedure. It’s like you do with your talking points. Never look them in the eye,never tell the truth when a lie will work,always get someone else to pay the bill,promise anything and number 1 old boy,fuck everyone in the ass until they say something. Then tell them Rob Arkley did it. GET IT?

  13. So- we have a sick perverted (right-wing) cop who raped his own wife-threatened her with a gun, and the good folk here discuss it by:

    Bashing Gallegos!

    Some people REALLY need to get out more!

  14. Gosh, Timmay. Thought we’d go ahead and wait for the verdict on Gundersen. It’s that whole innocent-until-proven-guilty thing. Keep in mind Gundersen has a “victim” who denies she was victimized. Gallegos, on the other hand, has proven himself to be an idiot, and this entire county has been victimized by his stupidity.

  15. I don’t see anyone bashing him. I see them laughing their asses off, which seems to me like a perfectly appropriate response.

  16. I get out all the time, and I think Gallegos is a fucking idiot.

  17. Thanks Bugs for the love and for the modification. You, as usual, are right. Oops

  18. Hey, Great post. I am still giggling. But Bugs, you are slacking…where is our new picture of the Bon Bon. As much amusement as Gallegos gives us (unless we think about the damage he is doing) he cannot compare to the Bon Bon (who constantly comes up with new ways to sell out her friends). We need a new .jpg, the swimming cap was truly awsome but we are like little children, we need the latest and greatest. Come on, put out for us you little bugster.

  19. I have to say “yes” in advance?

    “Oh baby, ohh baby!” won’t work?

    How about “Oh God, Ohhh GOD! OHHH GODDD!!!”?

    Will that work?

  20. Works for me, what’s your number?

  21. No, no no, you got it all wrong.

    It’s “yes. Yes. Yes! YES!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!”

    Followed by the “oh GODS!”

  22. It’s really time for you to change the image. Did you lay off the Graphics Dept. again, or did they get arrested?

  23. Ok can everyone who asks for a signed waiver before sex raise their hands?

    What an idiot, what a freakin’ idiot!

  24. My spouse and I are not Oberlin graduates, so
    we never really needed, much less wanted, explicit consent for each level of intimacy. WE cannot remember the last time (if ever) there was an explicity inquiry regarding the possibility of intimacy that would have been answered with “yes” or “no”. Indeed, there have been completely nonverbal events, often after onsumption of intoxicants, too.
    Where do we turn ourselves in?

  25. who is an oberlin graduate?

  26. Sorry for the off topic spam.
    The Carson Park Ranger made me do it.


    Sunday, September 21st. 11am – 4pm
    Rio Dell Fireman’s Park.
    (Corner of Wildwood Ave & Center Street)
    (It’s right downtown, you can’t miss it)

    Potluck Style –
    You know what to bring…but, if you need guidance:

    A-F: Main Dish
    G-L: Salad
    M-R: Dessert
    S-Z: Drinks, Snacks or Appetizers,
    Members with numbers in their title: B&M’s Canned Brown Bread

    There are some barbecue pits if the meat deal is to your liking And, be sure to bring your own Plates, Cups & Utensils

    Remember, bocce courts and miniature golf are within walking distance.

  27. Will you quit being such a fag site and post interesting stuff? Hello? At least every once every 18 months. That’s American months. Not Mayan months. Jeezuz.

  28. what’s bonnie doing now

  29. What’s bonnie doing now you ask? I dunno, scratching her balls?

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