Pharmaceutical company Sepracor, manufacturer of the popular sleep aid Lunesta, saw its stock value jump by more than 5 percent Tuesday morning, hours after investors learned that former Blue Lake police chief David Gundersen had been released from jail on bond.
The stock spike followed Wall Street’s worst single-day sell-off in U.S. history.
“I don’t know who this douchebag Gundersen guy is,” said one trader, “but there’s no denying he’s like a one-man economic bailout plan.
“Get it?” the trader laughed. “Bail out?”
But analysts were not entirely amused.
“Sepracor isn’t out of the woods yet,” one noted. “If that glutton-for-punishment backwoods district attorney elects to proceed on the other rape charge, Gundersen could return to custody, which would crater–albeit briefly–demand for the company’s flagship product.”
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: a great tomorrow starts tonight, David Gundersen, Get it? Bail out?, glutton-for-punishment backwoods DA, Leggo my Gallegos, Lunesta, one-man economic bailout plan |