An internal power struggle turned violent Sunday morning when a handful of disgruntled graphic designers laid siege to the posh headquarters of a local media company.
The dispute appears to stem from the Humbug’s extended absence from the Humboldt Mirror, a blog which initially offered a refreshingly satirical spin on local politics but quickly became juvenile and derivative before quitting altogether more than a month ago.
“They’ve been peppering our position with beer bottles and gay porn videos for the better part of an hour,” the Humbug reported from an undisclosed location deep inside Humboldt Mirror headquarters.
“Basically it’s raining men, all of whom seem to be wearing overalls down around their ankles. We’ve been able to hold out this long only because some of the bottles weren’t empty, and after knocking back a couple Millers a few of those gay guys look hotter than you’d think.”
But it’s clear the bugs can’t hold out forever.
“Something’s gotta give,” said a determined but weary Humbug. “I mean, come on. Miller beer? We’re gonna cock-punch those douchebag graphic designers when they show up to get their paychecks.”
Despite the continued rancor, some concessions have already been made.
“We’ve agreed to allow the Graphics Department to display a series of holiday-themed photos tentatively titled ‘The 12 Bon Bons of Christmas.’ In return, they said they would start lobbing PBRs and ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos instead.”
A spokesman for the designers said he believes today’s actions send a clear message to corporate leaders everywhere.
“Lead, follow or watch a bunch of out-of-work construction workers have sex with each other in highly stylized rural settings. It’s that simple.”
Filed under: Humboldt County Tagged: | douchebag graphic designers, Graphics Department mounts coup, highly stylized rural settings, internal power struggle, juvenile and derivative, Miller and gay porn, not so hot guy-on-guy action, overalls down around their ankles, The 12 Bon Bons of Christmas