Lovelace identifies new wetlands to protect

A broken toilet valve on the second floor of the Humboldt County Courthouse has created “an environmental opportunity” to convert the first floor of the building into potentially species-saving marshlands, according to 3rd District Supervisor Mark Lovelace.

“As far as I’m concerned, this is now critical habitat and subject to all the protections provided by law,” Lovelace said Thursday.

“At least a dozen different species of endangered mold can now thrive on and in the interior walls of the courthouse. And with only a small amount of work, coho salmon can swim free through the hallways and elevator shafts in pools shaded from the sun.”

The offices of the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors were particularly hard-hit by the flood, with ceiling tiles collapsing onto the desk of County Administrative Officer Loretta Nickolaus.

When asked what she thought of Lovelace’s habitat protection idea, Nickolaus responded that it was “not quite but almost as idiotic as that fucking billy-goat hair he’s got growing on his chin.”

59 Responses

  1. I wouldn’t put anything past him.

  2. I woulda thought there could have been a Great White swimming, but maybe the bugs decided the BonBon was enough

  3. Loretta has a way with words, but have you seen Mark’s chin?

  4. Welcome back, humbugs! We missed you during you hiatus.

  5. your hiatus

  6. Fucking billy-goat hair! hysterical.

  7. While I really don’t get the humor of this post, I do think it is objectionable and should be pointed out that you are trying to dupe people by showing Atlantic salmon (Salmo salar) swimming in a West Coast watershed when you mention the threatened coho salmon species–even if that watershed is a flooded government building.

    Please don’t spread misinformation, which only promotes ignorance of our fish species.

  8. yo EPIC douchebag. This blog is about parody and satire. Get a life.

  9. Oh lighten up 3:34. I am going to assume that EPIC warrior was attempting to be funny. At least I hope so. I never give up on the hope that my brothers and sisters on the left WILL GET A SENSE OF HUMOR.

    Hey, maybe the graphic department can put a duck bill on the old hag.

  10. ps – you wanna see a funny dem epic warrior? Run this:

  11. After I blew that little twerp, he pulled a fish out of his ass for payment. How some people treat family.

  12. I think the goat on his chin makes him look taller. Unfortunately it also makes him look like he has a fucking goat on his chin.

  13. I am going to sue this site for CEQA violation and a failure to abide by environmental review with regard to fish humor. There are negative impacts from your stupid blog.

  14. With a billie goat on his chin and fish up his ass, I think fish&game should be called in for a consultation.Even with the new security at the court house invasive species infestations could interfere with Marks true plan;TO GROW A PAIR.

  15. linda-

    you’re one sick puppy

  16. I guess he took a page out of Rahm Emanuel’s PayforPlay Book – Disaster is an opportunity to push your agenda through. Political sleight of hand. How many billions is he in line for?
    /sarc Humboldt Blue

  17. Auntie, what hiatus? We posted like a month ago. That’s major over-achievement by our standards. And by the way, we tried to figure out a way to fit this into the current post but came up empty: Loretta Nickolaus is hot. We mean HOT. The Graphics Department believes this goes without saying, but we’re saying it anyway. We totally heart her and wish she would be our valentine, but evidently she’s married to some big burly former cop dude. Who probably now wants to kick our asses.

  18. The good thing about slackers like Bugs is that when they do peel themselves off the couch, they actually do good work.

  19. Nice Valentine, Bugs

  20. It’s not just the three billy goats gruff chin-hair, it’s the talking out of the side of the mouth thing as well.

    I keep expecting to see him at a supes meeting wearing a snap-brim fedora, flipping a coin and saying repeatedly, “Now see here boys, dis is how we’re gonna git the coppers” …

    that’s just me though.

  21. I want to know why Loretta N. and County staff are saying the water line ruptured “by itself” when that’s a lie. The County maintenance guy working on the bathroom plumbing “DIDN’T SHUT THE WATER OFF”. AND THE YAHOO IDIOTS DIDN’T HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE THE SHUT-OFF VALVES WERE.How f..ked up is this case! I know why-if it wasn’t a monkey caused flooding Remif pays the repair bill. If a monkey caused the flooding,it falls into another fault category and may not be paid at all. ISN’T THAT CALLED LYING FOR FINANCIAL GAIN????
    Budget cuts from Sacramento affecting the “free crap” we give away at the taxpayer’s expense may just cause the Democrat-porkers to feel the pinch.All you Sacramento elected officials need to take a 10% pay cut as well. Feel the pain too loser!
    Why is Caulliphornia the King State of the freebies,the illegal aliens, and the home of the anti-Prop 8 queers? Because we elected the slimbag Democrat officials to make it that way over the last 40 years. FREE FREE FREE,WE WANT IT FREE.VOTE FOR ME, THEN GET IT FREE!
    See the pattern folks?
    I’m proud to be a Humboldt County REPUBLICAN !

  22. Hey Wildeyes. Take a deep breath and relax man. The shut-off valve failed. There’s no cover up.

    Unless . . .

    The water main at my house broke once and it never occurred to me that the government might be behind it. Crap!

  23. A mixed up dyslexic rightie tighty lefty loosy is not to blame here either? How queer a thought! When was public works’ lack of valve maintenance ever used as a “blaming” answer?
    How many employees working in the building are going to have sick days dues to mold allergies? Its coming……..
    Keep on busting water lines and the County will get their shovel ready NEW building from the Brown Child’s stimulus package. Whoppee do.

  24. the friggin mummy is absolutely hysterical.

    Hey bon bon…time to go – we are all tired of supporting you.

  25. She looks pretty tan for clocking so many hours/years underneath that artificial lighting. Somebody give her some Eucerin. If this is a prophecy/prediction of Bonnie’s political career, we should all consider pushing for term limits for Humboldt County Supervisors. Seriously. She will be running for her 7th term next year. Is 28 years at the same job a good thing? Usually people move on, get promoted or change careers after a decade. What good can come from someone holding on to a position with such a death-grip. Even John Woolley had the balls to take the next step.

  26. Oh no, John was threatened by the trails v. rails folks. They were gonna run Markymark and Wooley stepped down so he wouldn’t be defeated. Kind of hard to continue to bilke taxpayers in a different gov’t job after you have been ousted.

  27. That’s it! Bonnie Neely is Barry Manilow!

  28. Her name was BonBon, she was a showgirl

    With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there

    She would merengue and do the cha-cha

    And while she tried to be a star, Terry always tended bar

    Across the courthouse floor, they worked from 8 till 4

    They were young and they had each other
    Who could ask for more?

    At the Courthouse (CO!), the Humboldt Courthouse,
    The hottest spot north of Sonoma (here)

    At the Courthouse (CO!), The Humboldt Courthouse,
    Music and passion were always the fashion

    At the Courthouse….they fell in loooove

  29. Brilliant Humboldtturtle. Simply brilliant.

  30. Very good, turtle.


  31. What the fuck is your problem? Do you want a blog or no?

  32. First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!

    Are you tension? panic?

  33. OMG HUMBOLD TURTLE! BRILLIANT! Absolutely brilliant!

    And all I have to say is I can see the new slogan now.

    “SAVE THE MOLD!!!!!! It’s part of our natural habitat.”

    Bleach will become illegal.

  34. You guys suck, not really, but post something at least more than once a month. And fuck this “Going Out of Business” shit. Yeah, the economy and jobs are all fucked, but your job is to make us laugh, so get on it, bugs. The other blogs aren’t up to it. You should be. So just do it already!

  35. “…Why is Caulliphornia the King State of the freebies,the illegal aliens, and the home of the anti-Prop 8 queers?”

    Whew! I’m just glad we’re not the “King State” of hyperventilating, all-caps typing, ignorant, bigoted, blog commenters.

  36. Boy, that ALL CAPS thing really gets under your skin, Joel.

  37. All caps is, in fact, a useful red flag. It generally means that the commenter is hysterical.

  38. Ok Bugs

    How much is the rent? This blog needed a lot more palm trees anyway. Bikini Bonnies are needed too.

    Will you consider a lease option?

    Will the Graphics Dept work for minimum wage and still uphold the high standards of the site while continuing to live down to my expectations?

    The screw ups of today are the traditions of tomorrow.

    Send me an offer


  39. Ok Bugs

    I Get it

    Thanks for the memories


  40. sad

  41. way sad

  42. Did the Bon Bon spray you guys with something – like poison??

  43. say it isn’t so

  44. Apparently this is a result of a lawsuit by the Times Standard. Do you at least get a weekly editorial?

  45. Do you guys really want to let Cobb, Kaitlin, and the Herald crew win without a fight? Are you just going to roll over, put your ass in the air, and let David climb on and rape our community? What would your mother say? Come on, we all do our bit and we can rid ourselves of the scourge. It’s not easy or fast but we can’t quit.

  46. We were served with a temporary restraining order about a month and a half ago, which said we “shall” not come within a few hundred feet of “the office.”

    Sorry, we’ll get back to work soon.

  47. blah blah blah

  48. What kind of crap is that? We aren’t lifting a finger until the Bugs agree to pay prevailing wage.

  49. _

  50. Years from now we may all look back fondly at the brief moment in time when we had a chance to make a difference…and failed. Thanks for trying Bugs. You coulda been a contender.

  51. Does it bother anyone else out there to see such a vibrant site just “stick its head up its ass” and say uncle? I’m pissed because this was “the place to go to” in the mornings and see the interaction of the “screw-ups/power players/smucks who lead us down the yellow piss trail. I still say someone influential got arrested and is in the big slammer, or “died” and now can’t contribute anymore.This is not a slow death-its imploded and the spew outward is unacceptable.
    Get the balls and start blogging again! Bob bon can’t go uncontested. Heh, the budget sucks and let’s see how they handle the 3 million shortfall. Put your mouth out here bubbas and start talking.

  52. Help….

  53. That’s exactly what is needed-help. Let’s “form a task force” to see what we can figure out as the cause and the cure. Bon Bon can facilitate with Mark Mark’s expertise as an ecoist to brighten the gloom of dispare and to sweeten the essence of crap. Join in folks and add what you think this blog needs to grow again and expand it’s horizon of thought and pensiveness. Blah! I’m going to barf! Come on you lefties and righties-lets banter!

  54. Пора переименовать блог, присвоив название связанное с доменами 🙂 может хватит про них?

  55. What frickin gulag you in bitch? We talk english in this country-USA

  56. Отличная статья.Респект автору.

  57. Anyone interested in what , Eureka’s former acting Mayor ( Jerry Droz )is up to nowadays ? Just go to ; IMDb in cast / crew put in , Jerry Droz

  58. yay….you guys are awake again?

  59. Спасибо за познавательную статью!

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