Exclusive: Humboldt Mirror scores interview with former NEC director

Shove over, Barbara Walters. Former Northcoast Environmental Center director Greg King took a few minutes out of his humiliating retreat for a little Q and A with the Humboldt Mirror.

The man whose claim to fame was finding a forest that had never been lost and, more recently, running the NEC into its own contaminated ground will likely be remembered as a folk hero, a true eco-warrior, and a surprisingly crappy businessman.

Humboldt Mirror: So Greg. Man. Why don’t you start off by telling us how the NEC went broke.
Greg King: Well, I spent a lot of money and raised very little. I’m told that may have been a factor.

HM: Seems like that would do it.
GK: Yeah. We bought a house we couldn’t afford, and then dumped another boatload of money greening it out. Everything all solar and made out of carrots and shit. It was pretty cool, to tell you the truth, and it was like four bucks a month for the PG&E, before it got shut off. Also that whole cleanup thing on our property was way more expensive than you’d think, even skirting environmental regs the way we did. We ended up capping most of it, but don’t tell anyone because then we won’t be able to act all outraged when everyone else does it.

HM: You had some big shoes to fill.
GK: You have no idea. Every day it was Tim (McKay, longtime NEC director) did this, and oh, Tim did that, until finally I was like, ‘Yeah, well you know who else did all that? Fucking Jesus. Now shut the hell up.’

HM: Talk to us about the Klamath settlement.
GK: Yeah. Wow. We didn’t see that coming. By then money was already tight, because we had shifted toward a Baykeeper model, where instead of raising money by doing good things, you raise it by suing everyone. The advantage to that approach is that then you don’t actually have to do the good things. And in fact the fewer good things that happen, the more people there are to sue.

HM: But wasn’t doing good the point?
GK: The point of what?

HM: Of the NEC.
GK: Oh. Well, okay, sure, but clean rivers and healthy habitats don’t pay the bills. No one writes checks for species that don’t need saving and rivers that don’t need un-damming, you know?

HM: Right. So Greg, do you think maybe you weren’t the right person for the job?
GK: Maybe. It’s just too bad the organization didn’t need any trespassing or guitar playing, because I’m really good at both of those.

HM: What’s next for Greg King?
GK: Well I think my wife and daughter and I are going up to the Smith to unplug and get back in synch with nature.

HM: So you’re moving into a broken-down camper on the banks of the river?
GK: It centers us.

HM: Well thanks. I appreciate your candor.
GK: Yeah okay. Can I get that ten-spot now?

38 Responses

  1. bugs, you still have it.

  2. Thanks, friend!! And please don’t forget to tell your friends about our glorious if somewhat mediocre return!

  3. hey bugs, that king guy had me turning tricks at that fund raiser thinky and the wee-knee jacked me for my money—-did you pay him that 10 spot? Give me his location on the river and I’ll look him up.

  4. Hotness!!

  5. Please interview the Ghost of Tim next.

  6. Okay, the humbugs are on our blog role, as long as they behave themselves.

  7. hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Bugs you have been so fucking missed.

  8. His dad and I were just so proud and relieved when the NEC picked up Greg. You know not that many places will hire a person with mental health issues. On top of that they paid him over 50 k a year to sit in an office all day, playing video games and blogging all the while knowing that their bank account didn’t have the money to meet the other pressing bills. You know, like for the cost of clean up of their old office site. His dad and I are just so very thankful that the rules that apply to other small businesses don’t apply to the NEC. My god, if those pesky little rules had applied to the NEC and if they had to have really cleaned up the site like they demand of others, then they would not have had the money to support our beloved little Greg for the last 2 years.

    His dad and I are just so proud of Greg that we could poop.

  9. The best Ten-Spot you have spent in a long time. (maybe)

  10. I don’t know, friend. That’s like three suitcases of PBR!

  11. Goddamn you guys are funny. Keep it up. Haven’t laughed this hard since the last time you hit one out of the park. Good to have you back.

  12. Now that you’re back, I suspect the supes will be seeing even less of the Bon Bon around the office. If that’s even possible.

    Long live the bugs!

  13. fBonnie is best experienced and judged by the community, where she whores herself out and accepts a lot of money from some questionable places for vague products/comments.

  14. Pretty funny though perhaps a bit too mean…if you leave out the really inaccurate snipes it’d be funnier.

    One example–the NEC is not capping the contaminated lot, they are pursuing a brownfields grant to do the proper cleanup. The big expense is disposing properly of the contaminated soil, which is why there is funding to clean up old dry cleaner chemicals.

  15. Counter-balancing the local cool aid blogs with yours makes my day, week, month and year, Bugsy. We missed ‘ya, big time.

  16. all the King’s horses, and all the King’s men (little lord lovelace and knave nichols) couldn’t put Humpty together again

  17. So then for example you would think it less inaccurate to say the NEC built a house out of carrots, got the PG&E shut off, sued everyone in sight, perpetuated environmental problems to keep donations pouring in, and then Greg moved into a broken down camper on the banks of the Smith River after doing an interview for $10? Gosh, Anonymous! If anyone ever says anything mean about us–promise not to rush to our defense!!

  18. Huh?? Wait just a minute, Chris Crawford. How can you miss us when you are us? Don’t you read the blogs?

  19. There’s a patch of land on Waterfront Drive a lot of people are working to keep polluted. Why don’t they just help out the cause and dump it there?

  20. Skippy: So, did you enjoy your make-believe interview with Greg King?

    Humbug: Yes, well it IS a lot more fun than actually doing something constructive for the community like the n.e.c.

    Skippy: Do you often gloat when others are struggling?

    Humbug: Sure do. It’s easy and requires little thought. Plus, as an unaccomplished pimple on the ass of Humboldt County, it helps my self-esteem to tear down others who are widely respected in the community. If they are less, then I must be more…right?

    Skippy: Have you ever thought of contributing something positive to Humbolt, instead of taking cheap shots and kicking people when they are down?

    Humbug: I try not to think at all…to tell the truth it kinda hurts my head.

    Skippy: Well, that explains a lot…

  21. Wait a minute…the interview wasn’t real? Oh my god. Then it must be satire? Yeah, I am with Anonymous 1:33. Some things just aren’t funny. Please don’t make fun of the NEC because it just isn’t humerous when a bunch of self-rightous fucks step in thier own pile of shit.

  22. bout as real as Nicky professing on Cobb’s show that he wants to work with the fisherman on the MLPA. Damn, your right 2:07, that IS satire!

  23. Gregs mom: Skippy, you evidently haven’t met my son Greg.

    Skippy: Sure I have. I used to drive around Humboldt with him while he hallucinated about the FBI chasing him down the streets of Arcata. In fact, on time we pulled over, got down really low in our seats and smoked a big fatty.

    Gregs mom: Oh Skippy, you know that you should just say no to those fatties. They kill brain cells.

    Skippy: Thats ok mom, I don’t have any left.

  24. You show me someone who has any respect at all for Greg King, and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t been paying attention.

  25. Oh how adorable! We have a troll. Well Skimpy, welcome friend!! And you’re even more derivative than us! Who knew that was even possible?

    To address just a few of your fine and thoughtful points, we’d like to say no, as a general rule we do not gloat when others are struggling. So no worries, new blog friend. We won’t make fun of you.

    But we have been known to make exceptions when being “down”–your word–is a logical and not unforseeable consequence of one’s own stupidity. Such is the case with the recent management of the NEC. Nobody did this to them. We didn’t do this to them. They did it themselves, and they deserve what they get.

    But as the omniscient pus festering in the unaccomplished pimple on the ass of Humboldt County, you probably already knew this.

    Bye for now!!

  26. Skippy got bug-slapped. Skippy got bug-slapped. Skippy got bug-slapped. Skippy got bug-slapped.

    Newsflash Skip-sters – don’t be poking anyone with more brain cells and a superior wit than you. It just gets you humiliated and makes us laugh so hard we damn near piss ourselves.

  27. I thought NEC stood for Never Enough Cash. Oh well.

    no, no, no, 2:07. I totally disagree. It is funnier than all hell when a bunch of self-rightous fucks step in thier own pile of shit.

  28. Shhh, keep it down

  29. Chris Crawford?!? Please Chris, be gone of local politics. You’ve spoiled multiple campaigns for candidates who should have won by a mile. And they would have served their wards much better than those who were actually elected.

  30. Dog: So Heraldo, I understand that you want to weight in on this.

    H: Well yes, yes I do. After all I am the subtext of these inconsiderate and biased comments. Plus dang it, they’re taking pot shots at my amigos.

    Dog: Ahh, no pun intended?

    H: It is reprehensible to kick a dog when it’s down and against the bloggers code!

    Dog: Oh…that’s good. I mean about the dog part. So, how do you get to be the subtext?

    H: Well they referred to my radio sho…..er…I mean bugs is making rhetorical leaps to conclusions that are only in keeping with personal and irresponsible views. Where is the truth here? It’s just a pathetic attempt to promote a twisted political agenda. I mean, it really bugs me that this blog is critical of some really good people who are working hard for social change. It’s just not the same as my articulate reasoning and fair minded assessments of the the character and intentions of those who I select for ridicule. The NEC is above reproach and it is just plain, grassroots wrong to assail its considerable contributions to the very demonocracy er, democracy that we hold to be unlimited.

    Dog: Then you would not object, if the recent news reports are accurate that Security National has stepped up to provide financial support until NEC can collect on its next lawsuit?

    H: I knew it was just another neo-con plot all along! Er…how much financial support? No wonder they hired Greg…er….I have to go. I just got a text that Mike Jones missed another meeting. Have to get back on the job…..

    Dog: Wait H!! What about the palm trees? Someone has to save them too. H?

  31. Oh totally. And we’re him!! Fuck!

  32. Dog, we just plain grassroots love you, in our own personal and irresponsible way!! Thanks, friend!

  33. Love you too hun….what time is dinner?

  34. I’m someone who really knows what it’s like being down or well at least going down. I’ve been kicked,spit on,slapped and pissed on but the worst of all was when that whacko-libo from Texas tried paying with some phony shop local barter money. Yes, I was down but he wasn’t up.

  35. It’s our secret!!

  36. Oh, I’m just SO “humiliated.” How can I possibly go on?


  37. Friend, we hope you find the strength!!

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s