Freshwater Tissue Co: Wipe-out or royal flush?

What are the chances that Humboldt County, a place not previously known for personal hygiene, could become the toilet paper capital of California?

Reading the information provided on the Freshwater Tissue Co. website, it’s hard to say. But FTC President Bob Simpson, whose company purchased the Samoa pulp mill in February, sounds confident.

In a video posted on the website, Simpson boasts that FTC would “produce an essential product that is somewhat recession-proof in that every consumer in America has to buy it.”

While that is a slight overstatement, we find ourselves in a rare moment of agreement not only with Bonnie Neely, who supports the project, but also with the ubiquitous Prog tool Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap. That the latter ostensibly presides over a ratepayer-supported water district and yet in an official letter of support to a US Congressman misspells “ratepayer” pretty much tells you everything you need to know about her.

It remains to be seen whether the support of these two public savants will withstand reality, or if this is just something they’re saying to cling to elected office. Regardless, we’re enthusiastic about the project and hope Simpson is able to raise the necessary capital.

Sure, we’re talking about toilet paper, and there will be jokes. We’ll undoubtedly tell a few of them ourselves. But we wouldn’t mind a bit if bathroom tissue eventually edged out Humboldt County’s other top exports—marijuana and national news stories making fun of Arcata—and replaced some of the thousands of jobs Neely and the Progressives have, through the years, worked so hard to drive away.

37 Responses

  1. Hear hear, Humbug. Well said. But a word of warning: the “slight overstatement” link should be handled with care. I might need therapy after seeing that.

  2. Hmm … marijuana and toilet paper. Now THAT’S branding. I can see the narco-eco tourism dollars flowing in.

  3. Humboldt Watershed Council offers an in depth analysis on this issue. It can be viewed:

    The main point being is the 128 million bd. ft. per year for 40 years is how much forest this paper plant intends to consume.

    This is in no way eco-conscious, nor is it sustainable!

    See for yourself:

    Be well, Deane

  4. Well there’s a reader with no sense of audience. Or reality.

  5. Oh yea, I forgot… our forests and Salmon are an unlimited resource…

    It seems no matter how much we consume there will always be more…

    kinda like how home values will always go up and we can always borrow against that rise in value and we’ll always be rich right?

    Or maybe the real truth is what you can read here:

  6. Maybe the real truth, douchebag, is that the Humboldt Watershed Council is the next NEC.

    Maybe another truth is that running around screaming that toilet paper is going to ruin the planet is just fucking stupid.

    Maybe the most important truth is that your organization’s clumsy and moronic scare tactics do nothing to address demand for this pulp-based product, and instead simply yip and yowl that the supply line proposed here, in the most regulated state in the most regulated country in the world, would be environmentally devastating–more so, we’re left to conclude, than in all of the less regulated places wood is currently harvested and toilet paper currently produced.

    Here’s one last truth: your use of sarcasm is not particularly effective. You might consider a rhetorical approach that allows you to at least appear sincere.

  7. well,that just about covers it all– this place really is in the crapper

  8. Shit hole instead of hell hole?


  10. Newsflash! How’ve you been, friend? We’ve missed you. And yes, you’re right. It’s like some of these enviros sit around trying to think of new ways to be stupid. Although they do make it look effortless.

  11. Deane? You there, Deane? Hello?

    Major bug-slap. I think you might have physically injured him. Poor fucker had it coming, though. These people should practice in front of a mirror or something.

  12. Wow!

    I think it’s so wonderfully awesome how Humbug called me a douchebag!

    I’m not sure if he knows it or not but Douchebag is my most favorite term of endearment…

    I mean check out this video here:

    New Media Douchebags Explained:

    Thanks Humbug I’m like all over it… if you know what I mean?

    As in water is so cleansing and healing in that where we’re from kinda of way! : -)

    Be well, Deane

  13. One the global scale this project would help fight global warming because it would be regulated here in the states vs overseas.

    The greedy unregulated overseas corporate polluters would lose market share and would have to follow the lead. Paper products have a byproduct of DOIXIN when made with chlorine. Fight global warming and be as clean as possible during the manufacturing sounds good to me.

    If we don’t fight global warming then the salmon will cook in the streams anyway. Why not be a a leader?

  14. Eek, You kind of sucked the air out of the room with that comment.

  15. I came to the office every day and it was closed. Can you say “show up pay?” What happened? I figure the graphics department unionized and helped out a la GM and Chrysler.

  16. Hello. I’m Garrett Albright of Precision Intermedia, the marketing company commissioned to build Freshwater’s new site.

    With regards to Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap’s letter, when we went to post that on the site, we did not have an electronic version; we had to transcribe the letter from a printed copy. I’ve double-checked the copy of the letter we transcribed from, and “ratepayers” is spelled correctly there. The employee who transcribed the letter must have made the spelling mistake. I’ve corrected it on the web site.

  17. No bugslap at all. Actually, Deane made a rather pathetic attempt at trying to sound reasonable and educated. Unfortunately, it was a failed attempt.

    How about this Deane – would you rather wipe your ass with a spotted owl? Or do you dream of corncobs?

    Hell, by Deane’s thought process, we should all drink the “kool aide” and drop dead as anything we do has an effect on the earth, which in turn can not be tolerated at all by the folks like HWC and Deane. Newsflash – Deane, you are an idiot who stays on message but lacks any critical thinking skills.

  18. Give it a frigging rest,KBS is as phony as an Obama stimulas plan. And would someone please tell her to put on some clothes. Just because a fat sexually confused Texas failure is slobbering on top of you doesn’t make you hot. Just pathetic.

  19. If you actually read Freshwater’s business plan, you will learn that Freshwater consumes pulp chips as a by-product of existing sawmills. There is no mention the pulp mill will cut down redwood trees. Freshwater will purchase tanoak trees from land owners. Currently, tanoak is being killed with herbicides, left standing as fuel, which in turn becomes for forest fires. If you consider yourself green, and I am talking about environmentally green, then you should support the project. If not, continue to buy toilet paper made in China and be the ignorant person you appear to be!

  20. Thanks, Garrett. Shouldn’t be hard to think of a new reason to make fun of her. Let’s see–oh yes. Measure T. We doubt Precision Intermedia effed that one up.

  21. Hilarious!

  22. Ok … read all the posts so far and there are some strong feelings against this business being in Humboldt County.

    To the vocal one here, I request you not imply you are MY voice in Humboldt County. I stand for finding a way to be good to the earth and also bring jobs here. Surely we can find a balance!

    Is it just me or do you tend to have long lists of criticisms but rarely solutions? I might be more active in the fight for a better world if you were fighting just as hard to bring jobs here, but it looks to me like you would rather just sit and point out the problems. Maybe you have proposed ways to bring jobs here, but I sure haven’t found it. Point me to it and I’ll read up on your ideas.

    Oh … and I wish my kids could be involved in the discussion here as there is much for them to learn and maybe contribute. But the language is a bit too raw for my young ones. Would I be required to talk like that if I become a more adamant environmentalist?

  23. Marcy,

    So many questions!! Let’s see what we can do.

    The raw talk is from those of us who think humans and nature can successfully co-exist. The double-talk is from those who, like the Humboldt Watershed Council, seek to convince us they cannot.

    Were you to become an adamant environmentalist, you would need to talk like an idiot.

    If you want to discuss the issues here, keep in mind this blog is rated PG, as noted here.

  24. By products on the scale of 128 million board ft. per year existed back in the day when logging was central to the North Coast economy.

    But these days all that forest has been cut over and not only are those byproducts being produced at the tiniest fraction of what they once were, they are also is new found unprecedented demand for them as a valuable commodity for landscapes, wood pellets, engineered wood products and most of all as biofuels.

    What’s worse is that the value / costs of these byproducts will go through the roof if the pulp mill starts consuming what little there currently is available, which ultimately means clearing the forest exclusively for butt-wipe!

    Read more here:

    Be well, Deane

  25. See what we mean? Now you totally sound sincere! Good work, friend!!

  26. DO NOT click the “slight overstatement” link. I’m scarred for life.

  27. That Sopoci Belknap is a class act, dumping on some poor data entry person to take the fall for her flub-up. I guess that’s what honoring labor is all about.

  28. Little Marcy – seems that you are utterly confused about the purpose of this site. While it is partly to welcome good works here by some of our leaders and/or useless waste of space politicians, it is also (and I would say more importantly) to humiliate the slackers and leeches in Humboldt that hold themselves out as either”leaders/politicians” or as the “so-called” “academics” and “intelligentsia” (you know like the wannabe’s Belknap, Heraldo, Cobb, Kirk, that Burstiner lady, Rall, Cleary et. al. – you know the ones that like to talk a lot but couldn’t find their ass with two hands and a very bright spotlight. (Lord girl, the list is so very long.)

    Now our bug friend can’t bring jobs here and I would be stunned if our humbug even attempted to preach on that issue. I know this is way different than the annointed one /egocentric Heraldo/Heralda – queen of the damned and routing blogger of bullshit, but you are just gonna have to get used to the fact that people over here are sarcastic realists who have had it up to their eyeballs with the so-called enviro know-it-alls and are pretty much done with the trolls that only live to suck the life’s blood from the rest of us. What I don’t think you are grasping is that the “anti” crowd and dopers just can’t have good legal jobs here and will do everything to shut most potential business attempts down. (which they will try and do with this attempt to reopen the pulp mill.) What our mischevious and witty bug does is humiliate those who speak out of both sides of their mouths (a trait I greatly admire – ooh, actually strive for.)

    Yes, we need jobs here and the more enviro friendly, the better – not just because it is responsible, but also because it reduces all the white noise when there is any attempt to build a legal industry in this county which provides decent jobs. The pulp mill idea is a good start, but it will not do on its own. What I find pathetic, is that Bonnie doesn’t give a crap one way or the other, except that she has already started running for re-election in 2010. She is a waste of perfectly good air and I am looking at throwing my money and support at anyone who challenges her – and that means anyone, I don’t give a shit who, nobody ( I repeat, nobody) could be as shallow and as disingenuous as Ms. Neeley.

    BTW – this weekend I saw a cnbc report regarding pot and on it that Garberville is the capital of the pot growing communities in the US. Not the 2nd or 3rd, but 1st. Isn’t that grand? Pot capital and asswipe (albeit enviro sensitive asswipe) I am so very proud, I could shit!

  29. Dear Lord, God, Creator, etc.,

    You must be who you say you are, because you wrote a fucking bible.

    Sinner, servant, lowly Humbug, etc.

  30. Sounds like the words from our local czar, none other than Mr. Dave Tyson

  31. Lord God, creator of the universe/ I could could just F#@K you,for free.

  32. I’m not sure what thread you’re following, but maybe you should consider the possibility that it unraveled.

  33. I’d settle for BJ downtown in a parked car.

  34. And by the way, the Co-op is fucking ugly as sin

  35. Errrr, rated PG? I don’t think so. AC, more likely.

  36. Thank you. The voice of sanity. Look up the links to Deane boy and see what his trip is about, enviro-wack job.

  37. Although I like douchebag, my favorite call is dildo. A substitute for the real thing made of plastic.

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