Lawmakers amend Berg’s ‘Death with Dignity’ bill to apply to her career

Berg Smoking

Light 'em if you got 'em.

A bill that would humanely terminate the tottering career of former Assemblywoman Patty Berg is picking up support in committee and could be headed for a vote in the senate.

Modeled after Berg’s own “Compassion and Choices,” a failed initiative which would have legalized assisting in the deaths of the terminally ill, Santa Rosa Assemblywoman Noreen Evans’ “Compassion and Choice of Adult Diapers and Nursing Homes” targets old, worn out politicians who don’t have the sense to quit.

“The logic of assisted career suicide is more compelling than ever since that battle-ax Berg shoved Wiggins under the crazy bus to free up the Second District senate seat,” Evans said.

“That move left little doubt that her career is terminal. It’s time to do the right thing and help put it out of its misery.”

Berg, who was termed out of the state assembly in January, announced in the Eureka Times-Standard last week that she was considering a run for Wiggins’ seat. She has also filed papers declaring her intent to run for state insurance commissioner in 2010, when she will be 143 years old.

Evans said repeatedly that her support of the bill was not a reflection on Berg’s achievements.

“She’s done so many good things for the elderly,” Evans said. “Especially herself.”

One insider who spoke on condition of anonymity noted that Berg’s comments about a senate run have been something less than inspiring.

“It would be one thing if she were able to articulate a vision, explain to us what she hoped to accomplish in the senate. But so far it sounds like she wants to be a senator only because she doesn’t really want to be an insurance commissioner,” the insider said. “No one I know thinks she should be either.”

But supporters called those statements “unfair,” and pointed to her past accomplishments, including meddling extensively in county affairs and bringing forward 17 different bills with the word “compassion” in the title.

Berg said if elected she would earn $116,280, issue endless proclamations about nothing, and fill the senate chamber with crocheted doilies and old-lady smell.

Photo janked from here.

Employment outlook dims for one Graphics Department staffer

hot to not

Larry Glass teaches us all a valuable lesson

At least he's fashionable.

At least he's fashionable.

Dear Larry Glass,

Thank you for recognizing the obvious and dropping your poorly conceived rental housing ordinance before wasting any more time and money trying to shove that bag of crap down the throats of an unwilling electorate.

However, please do not think you have a pass on whatever new idea you rolled out at the workshop Tuesday night.

Oh–remember that event? The one that was so poorly noticed attendance dropped from a couple hundred at the previous meeting to fewer than a couple dozen on Tuesday? Weird, huh?

We could find no advance word of the meeting anywhere, except of course on your friend’s blog, the same forum you routinely use to distribute your talking points, reward your friends and punish those who dare to oppose you.

But you, great man of the people that you are, somehow failed to send that announcement to this blog, which as you know has been following the issue somewhat closely.

Still, the little upset over this proposed ordinance pointed out to those of us who don’t drink your grape kool-aid how out of touch you are with the residents of this city and how easily you can be stopped when we put our minds to it.

Thank you for that. It’s a lesson we won’t soon forget.

Hugs from the bugs.

Eeny, meeny, miny–noooo!!

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap: She's creepy and she's kooky, mysterious and spooky.

File this one under God Help Us All.

Could there be, as Ryan Hurley reports, a possible Bonnie Neely–Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap showdown looming in the fourth supervisorial district?

You may remember Sopoci-Belknap as the Addams Family-esque champion of unconstitutional ordinances, massive water rate increases and specialized geriatric care.

Her candidacy would turn that race into the “Sophie’s Choice” of local elections, only without any hot chicks or convincing performances.

Deciding between those two would be like trying to choose which eardrum to puncture with an icepick, or which testicle to set ablaze.

Who knows. Maybe David Cobb was speaking out of turn, and when he got home from that interview someone gave him a very naughty spanking.

Photo ripped off from here and here.

Trial and error

Surf's up, loser.

Surf's up, loser.

While Times-Standard reporters were diligently not reporting word one of the Housing Element discussions, that crack team of reporters did rouse itself long enough to write up this little press release about McKinleyville resident Vernon Weatherford’s alleged DUI crash on Highway 255 near Samoa.

Weatherford had a young mother and her 4-year-old daughter in the car with him when he went ahead and wrapped his rig around a power pole.

The good news is that the child was unhurt, and the 26-year-old alleged douchebag’s pelvis was crushed all to hell, which might be the only thing keeping him from hurting anyone, at least for a while.

Make that a little while. The news release notes that charges anticipated against Mr. Weatherford include driving under the influence and causing injury, being a felon in possession of a handgun, driving on a suspended license and driving under the influence with three prior DUIs in the past 10 years.

Impressive, yes? The guy’s a fucking prodigy. To have accomplished so much at such a young age. His parents must be proud.

But Weatherford is more than just a stack of DUIs. This Sheriff’s Office news release states that he was also arrested in 2004 on charges of torture and false imprisonment.

Does it occur to anyone as odd that a person of Weatherford’s achievements would be in the vicinity of cars, children and power poles, instead of sitting in a cell where he obviously belongs?

Mr. Gallegos, this is where you come in. What this man does next is largely up to you. You have been responsible for prosecuting him since he was 19 years old, and yet here he is, four DUIs and a handful of violent felonies later, still driving around, drunk and with a four-year-old in his car.

It was only a matter of chance that this little girl did not become the next Nicole Quigley. Do your job and stop Weatherford before he becomes the next Jason Whitmill.

[Photo source]

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride*

The Bon Bon’s damp dreams of a state senate appointment went up in smoke Monday when longtime ally and protector Patty Berg climbed over Neely’s considerable rotundness and announced her intention to grab Pat Wiggins’ senate seat for herself.

Oh snap, sistah!! That’s gonna leave a mark! But people–think about it. Berg had been, what? Like seven months without a big guzzle of milk from the public teat? You do not want to stand in the way of that shit.

No wonder the ice queen Ice Berg had such kind and thoughtful things to say about her “good friend” Senator Pat Wiggins last week– remember? Things such as, say, telling a newspaper reporter that Wiggins needed a complete neurological work-up, etc., which is code for “I may be a grizzled old lung transplant candidate, but look at the shit I can still rain down on you, biotch.”

And that’s all it took. Berg 1, Wiggins 0. It remains to be seen whether party leadership will throw candidate Noreen Evans under the bus just to give Berg a few more years of crass manipulation before that big Marlboro Man in the sky calls her home.

But who knows? Dumber things have happened. For example, Humboldt County voters have elected and re-elected Neely to the Fourth District seat since the Reagan administration. And it looks like we’re not rid of her yet.

A girl can dream, can't she?

A girl can dream, can't she?

*(Okay, we know Bon Bon was the bride once, but we got five bucks for anyone who can make heads or tails of that union, and besides, we’re speaking figuratively here.)

BREAKING NEWS: Is Loretta Nickolaus calling it quits?

Tragedy strikes: Is Her Hotness really leaving us?

Tragedy strikes: Is Her Hotness really leaving us?

Numerous sources tell the Humboldt Mirror that Loretta Nickolaus is stepping down from her post as County Administrative Officer, the highest non-elective position in the county. Notice was given recently, with her last day said to be Dec. 18.

The highly respected Nickolaus has long been considered the brightest light in local government. While admittedly some have set the bar rather low, no one but Bonnie Neely ever had a bad word to say about Loretta.

Which of course just made us like her that much more.