Search engine failure

Le-goOne of the fun things about WordPress is that it tracks search terms readers use to navigate to our blog.

Some of these are obvious. There’s lots of “humboldt mirror,” for example, and your usual “catch-a-poo” and “larry glass sucks ass” sort of thing.

But there are other terms we find frankly puzzling–not because people search for these things on the internet but because those searches somehow lead them to the Humboldt Mirror.

We understand “carrie prejean’s tits” but are less sure about “biggest tits in humboldt county” and just plain old “tits tits tits.” You’d think entering those would take you to an awful lot of stops before ours along the information highway, but okay.

Then there was “free hit of crack exchanged for blow job,” a complete mystery, along with “blood on toilet paper when i wipe,” which is an example of providing more information than even Google needs to know.

We also had “one or two testicles” (two, please), “crunching shit,” “girl giving the finger” and, finally, “lego toilet,” although we have no recollection of having written about any of these.

But look–now we have.

It’s like they can read our minds.

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12 Responses

  1. Excellent reading material, though.

  2. Crunching shit? What does that even mean?

  3. We’re afraid to ask.

  4. Have never seen a Lego toilet, until now. Only on the Mirror!

  5. You guys are the funniest blog in the world. LMAO!!!

  6. Nice try, Graphics Department. Get back to work!!

  7. Huh? We’re totally some random person from Eureka.

  8. Whoever you are, you guys are funny. First visit, really! Talk about irony, I found this site from the search: “how to snort blow off of the mirror” + “humboldt” + “bonnie neely” + “I am so fucking tired of those sycophantic blood-sucking politicians who morph in and out of term-limited low-level elected posts because a sensible majority can’t seem to influence the vote enough in a positive direction to fix the problem due to an obvious and excessive recreational abuse of Vicodin, Dilaudid, Xanax, Zoloft, Demerol, Vistaril, Paxil, and Prisolec.”

  9. Using the IP address of the Graphics Department server?

  10. Welcome, new anonymous!! We can see how that search chain would send you straight to us. And we’re thrilled that it did! Not that we’re keeping track or anything, but you could be our FOURTH READER!!! Can you believe it? It seems like only a year and a half ago or so that we only had two.

    So stick around, friend. There are many, many sad attempts at humor still to come!

  11. So busted.

  12. Recreational use of prislosec? You take that drug for GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) or heartburn. You can take too much, if you do it contributes to pernicious anemia. There is no pleasant or unpleasant side effects, no buzz so I am at a loss as to how this could be abused recreationally. Unless of course you count the exorbitant quantities you would need to swallow just to tolerate a close proximity to Mark Lovelace (I didn’t vote for him!).

    Now, if you were to insinuate that Mark is abusing vistaril, that I would be disposed to believe, as he definitely has that phenothiazine twitch going on!

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