‘Marginally readable’? That’s one more for the Raves page!!

Captain Buhne looking better than ever

Captain Buhne: Lookin' good

Oh that’s right, bitches. We have arrived.

Local blogging pioneer Ryan Hurley has featured the Humboldt Mirror on his new website, Eureka Now!

Hurley, best known as writer of the now-defunct Buhne Tribune, praised the Mirror as “marginally readable” and offered a few useful tips to make the site suck even less.

“We’re just thrilled,” said a Humboldt Mirror spokesperson. “I believe I speak on behalf of the entire organization when I say what an honor it is to see this self-aggrandizing has-been try to coattail on our success.”

The spokesman said he appreciated Hurley’s advice and recognized that not everyone has “the total package” the more experienced blogger brings to the game.

“On one hand, he’s got the self-consciously clever YouTube videos he shoots in his mother’s garage. On the other, there’s his grand ambition to see his name at the bottom of an overwrought letter about Levi Johnston in the pages of Vanity Fair. He’s just going for it, flat out, and all we can do is look on with envy.”

The spokesman did note that Hurley’s efforts do tend to be “a little light on substance and a little heavy on Ryan Hurley,” but said people go into media for different reasons.

“The Mirror was intended to be a centrist antidote to the lunatic-left rantings of the Humboldt Herald, whereas Eureka Now! serves as a relentless homage to its creator. While we’re saying, ‘Oh, look, Bonnie Neely’s an effing idiot,’ he’s saying, ‘Oh wow, Ryan Hurley’s dick is so big.’ It’s just two different approaches.”

Although Hurley noted in the video that he gets asked every day if he’s seen the Humboldt Mirror, the spokesman said he had “never been asked, ever, not even one time,” if he had seen Eureka Now!

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40 Responses

  1. It is not bad for a 10 th grade progressive journalism class project. Bugs rule!

  2. Smack, bugs! Y’all brought the hammer down on him.

  3. Well he said we needed to insult a wider range of people. We figured we’d start with him. Right?

  4. I’m inclined to give Ryan some residual respect for what he used to be, but since his highly orchestrated coming out party I don’t think he’s done anything but try to be famous. It seems to be what it’s all about for him. I guess that’s some people’s dream, and maybe this is how he gets there, but that doesn’t put him in much of a position to critique others.

  5. Agreed, Skool. Back in the day he was something. Maybe he’ll grow into this video thing, but his criticism (if that’s what it was) of the bugs is silly. They rule the local blog world now without any input from him.

    I say if that’s what it was because part of me does think he was just trying to stir it up with the bugs to drive some traffic to his site. He could certainly use it.

  6. Fucking hysterical. I think Hurley opened his can of whoop-ass on the wrong blog. They’re not people I would want to be in a pissing match against. But at least they had a sense of humor about it. Hurley’s not a bad guy. We’ve all moved on from the Buhne Tribune days, though, so his arrogance comes off a little flat now.

  7. We started paying attention to blogs right at the end of Captain Buhne’s glory days, and obviously we were influenced by him. He came along when the newspaper war was raging and really made the most of that. His focus was not on politics or events but the foibles of the people who reported on politics and events.

    That’s not interesting anymore. The Times-Standard is as bad as it ever was before the war, the North Coast Journal seems to be more interested in being edgy and off-beat than in reporting relevant news, the Arcata Eye frequently reads like insider baseball and is hard to follow on the web, and of course the Eureka Reporter is no more.

    You can’t do what Ryan did anymore. The moment has passed. But until it did, he owned the scene and anyone who says otherwise is lying or jealous. Late to the party though we were, we owe him a debt. He made us possible. It’s nice to have him back, even if he is busting our balls.

  8. You’re being too kind bugs. He called the nice Old Glory Radio guy a ‘jackass’ and is responding to blog comments under the name ‘BigRLive.” What the fuck is that about other than an ego that has gotten out ahead of his ability to back it up. He was always arrogant. You can get away with that when you’re on top, but that is not where he is at the moment.

  9. Oh and you guys did actually put that on the Raves page didn’t you? That’s what I love about you. YOur self-effacing approach buys you a ton of good will. Hurley might think about that.

  10. But Bugs, he’s CUTE!!!!!!!
    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
    XO XO XO XO XO XO XO

  11. And nobody ever says that about us.

  12. Why does this fool get such big ups? It’s like talking up friendster.

    I fully expect the next post to talk some serious shit.

  13. Ryan who? I’ve never heard of this guy in my life.

  14. Oh bugs….hard as I try not to, you make me snort.

  15. Gotta Love Cap’n Buhne! Everyone was convinced he was Rob Arkley, then Kevin Hoover, and I forget who all else. I wish he had left his blog online, even if it was closed. Historical records and all.

    Maybe some day he can let it go back up, even if it isn’t to be updated.

  16. I think it’s great that a gay man can have a website with cute little movies like that!

  17. “Self-aggrandizing has-been”? SO cold. I feel sorry for Ryan. Bye.

  18. Relax, turtle. It’s satire. Remember?

    Our more sincere opinion of Ryan’s work here.

  19. I didn’t say it wasn’t true. What a suck-bug.

  20. Totally sucking up. Ryan’s an okay guy. Weird, but okay.

  21. Oh Hurley boy, the bugs, the bugs are calling
    From blog to blog, around the world wide web
    The summer’s gone, and all the the news is boring
    ‘Tis you, ’tis you must blog and I must write.
    But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow
    Or when the courthouse’s hushed and gov’mint’s done
    ‘Tis I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow
    Oh Hurley boy, oh Hurley boy, I love you so.

    And if you blog, when others can’t comm-uni-cate
    And I am dead, as dead I well may be
    You’ll come and find the place where I am writing
    And kneel and grab ahold and pull for me…

    And I shall hear, tho’ soft you tread above me
    And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
    If you’ll not fail to tell me that you love me
    I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

    I’ll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

  22. Just curious what he’d be grabbing ahold of and pulling. That could be, you know. Odd.

  23. We totally just twittered your beautiful song, turtle. Hugs!!

  24. xoxoxox

  25. Does this mean we’re both Irish?

  26. I would like to know if Ryan’s dad was really able to predict earthquakes?

  27. Hey yeah. And maybe he saw this shitstorm coming.

  28. Hells yeah, bro.

  29. Hank screwed the blog pooch and as you might imagine, I am touchy about such things.

    Buhne plowed the ground and germinated the seedbeds that swell to the maximum tumescent, chronic character blooms of authority’s comic assoholism. (whew)

    Bugs has cultivated the long rows of incipient perverse-verse saplings….complete with palm trees and the easter bonnie. Sweet blogorhythms in aroused repose.

    Bugbuhne? An harmoblogic convergence where the eclipsing binaries could have created a combined luminescence brighter than the two individual lanterns of critical discourse. Still could. Hmmmmm

    But that freaking Hank….hacking up the burgeoning symbiosis and got the chunks all over his aging Keds. But you are so the beautiful, classy-ass, blunt-edged, politcalogue that you think you are Hank. A cool place for you.

    The sharp edges belong to the Buhnes and the Bugs’ of the world.

    If you spare the pooches, the dogs run free. Our internet, comicbook journalism is not far from your strange weekly moment.

    Just a matter of ink

    But please Hank relax…….take a deep breath.

    Leave the finer points to the poets.

  30. harmoblogic? wow.

  31. hurley relied on inside sources at the local newspapers to get his “scoops.” That’s how he seemed to be beating everyone to the punch. Once they saw their news tips being used against them they outed him. Now he has no friends anywhere and is so desperate to be that Fake Somebody again that he’ll try anything. He remains as ever among the ranks of the Eureka loser bloggers who think that by simply not being the T-S they somehow are better. Ya’ll should just STFU once and for all. Not one thing you say is ever of any value whatsoever. Sitting in front of a computer all day and making a few phone calls– that’s exactly what all the local reporters at the T-S, Eye, and Journal do. Try actually going out into the community and talking to people. That’s how journalism is done.

  32. Ok….it was a stretch

    Should have been harmony-blogic.

    or harmonoblogic.

    Groves notwitthstanding

  33. Yikes

    that gives a whole new meaning to drive by’s or assaults

    three part harm-ony

    Some words that do not yet exist, should.

  34. You seem to be well on your way to creating some of them.

  35. just trying to help

  36. Have you seen his latest video, out today? He responds to your post via song calling the bugs: “such an average writer” and “you never made us laugh”.

    Seriously Ryan? Did you have have to go all “Show-Tune” on us?

  37. Not bad for a beginner.

  38. This guy’s all lathered up and ready to go bugs

    Make sure to use protection

  39. Today I was showing a friend your blog, and this post. My buddy remembers the good Captain, and even called him legendary.

    I hate to steal from good movies, but this is what I thought of when he made the legendary remark:

    “Looks like a legend and a outta work bum look a lot alike daddy”

  40. Tapper, you are very kind, but there’s no getting around the captain charted the course. And don’t forget Fred. He used to be a major player, and we still read him every day. We’re also a fan of your site, friend, and you are one of our favorite visitors. You always have something happy to say, and there’s always room in this world for a little more happy. Hugs!!

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