Pete Nichol$: The quicker cash picker-upper

Now even more cash-absorbent

Soaks up legal fees twice as fast!

Ahh, the beauty of a warm fall rain. There’s nothing quite like it to send all those toxic soil contaminants flowing straight into the bay. It’s like one of those nature films they used to show in grade school, only way stupider.

Thanks to Pete Nichols and his money-maker, the Humboldt Paykeeper organization, this is a condition that may persist for years while Nichols and his raft of lawyers fight to extract their usual fee from those who would bring good jobs and affordable products to our hard-hit corner of the economy.

If only Pete were as concerned with soaking up dioxin as he is with soaking up cash.


25 Responses

  1. Also soaks up the micro-beers he spills while drinking and driving his little Paykeeper pickup truck.

  2. You had your chance to smack down Nichols when he posted on your thread a week or so ago.

    You totally pussed out! WTF?

  3. Pussed out? WTF? Are you kidding? We’re making the Sneaky Petester those Christmas cards he requested. Not to worry, friend. Other than that, though, his comment wasn’t exactly electrifying. Thought he was funny. Wasn’t. Thought he could be like Mike Wilson. Wasn’t. Sounded quite a bit like the not all that smart, sanctimonious ass he’s always been. What kind of response goes with that? Besides, every day he spends trying to re-order the power structure of this county under the guise of environmentalism is a good chance to smack him down.

  4. Your response was to give him shit about not capitalizing the G in graphics dept! You totally pussed out!

    Given their intoxicated ways, I figured the graphics department would be much more brutal. Shit, Rose would have spit on him if she’d been given such an opportunity!

  5. Well, we’re huggers and belittlers, not spitters. That’s just how we roll. We have to give a nod of respect to those who attempt to engage. A thanks-for-playing kind of thing. And then of course we continue to bugger them.

  6. Awesome!

  7. My cat pissed on the floor next to the back door. I need some Pete (Brawny) paper towels in order to do the clean up properly and restore it to what it was like before kitty polluted it with kitty “dioxin.”

  8. Wait a minute- you come up with all these fantastic pots trashing the guy, yet when he comments on your blog, you can’t even spar a few rounds. You don’t have to “piss” on him, just share a few choice words.

    I agree with anon. Better change the tampon while your bleeding.

  9. You’ll need an environmental review first.

  10. Ya think Ol’ Petey would like some Parking Meter stickers, buttons and bumper stickers? Maybe T-shirts, too. Could be fun.

    We’ve got “Save Pete’s Bacon” and (I’m swiping these two from you…) UnDam The Cash Flow and now “The Quicker Cash Picker-Upper” all with that iconic blood in the water shark graphic.

  11. Pussed out? Seriously? We put Pete’s crummy picture on a roll of paper towels, which is much more passive aggressive and better than the instant, but temporary gratification of replying to his ho-hum comment. We’re not entirely sure that was even Pete. He didn’t even threaten to sue us. That’s not like Pete, you know?

  12. When I saw “quicker picker upper” I thought you meant how fast he moved on to another woman after he left his wife. But this is funny too.

  13. Why the moderation??

  14. You weren’t moderated, friend. Crap gets randomly stuck in the the ol’ spam can. We liberate it as soon as we get our lazy asses around to it. Sorry.

  15. Are you jealous?

  16. We are.

  17. Wow this is great… It’s amazing how much time you all spend not understanding the basic concepts of reality.

    I mean don’t get me wrong I like to swim in pollutants just as much as everybody else but to say an enviro is actually making money doing anything is ridiculous.

    Have you seen the way these people live? I’m one of ’em I should no. These people don’t live the way you do, they don’t scam the way ya’ll scam, they barely even understand that they have to participate in capitialism, let alone understand how to manipulate it to their own maximum advantage.

    I mean they have moral issues with even the notion of such… So for them to actually make money in an underhanded way, that’s like the readers of the Mirror riding bicycles instead of driving. It’ll never happen!

  18. We thrive on not understanding the basics of reality Deane. Thanks for pointing that out. Where in the fuck is all of that enviro money going? Besides to lawyers? Because the last time I checked, not a single fucking penny of money from CATS, Baykeeper, Ecological Rights Foundation or Mateel Environmental Justice Foundation was spent on an actual cleanup of anything…not even a toilet bowl.

    How exactly do we scam, anyway? By working for a living? Sorry, we suck for working for a living. I am sure that it’s easier to have a few solar panels and 99 plants in the basement. Yeah, that’s real “green” living.


  19. P.S.

    I don’t own a car. I walk to and from work.

  20. Quicker Pecker Picker Upper?
    Just Sayin…

  21. Hey Deane,
    why don’t they lead by example and clean up their own property?

  22. Pete’s beard looks to be quite absorbent. Can we clean up some dioxins with that?

  23. You are fucking kidding, right?

    If you are trying to be all serious and shit, well then you really need professional help Deane.

  24. CATS, Baykeeper, Ecological Rights Foundation or Mateel Environmental Justice Foundation, Humboldt Watershed Council/HealthyHumboldt/… who can name all the groups. there oughtta be a contest.

    Anyways, nice to know someone is paying attention. Nice to not be alone anymore.

  25. Just another predatory litigious environmental group. When are we going to change the laws to protect from these pickpocketers?

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