Ralph Faust asks Coastal Commission to stop cleanup of Balloon Track–with meaningless updates

Fuck all y'all.

And he reportedly did so, unlike in this photo, with a completely straight face.

Not that any of this is funny in the usual sense of the word. None of those pull-my-finger or naughty limerick jokes for him, the old coot.

No, with this appeal Faust definitely employs the stodgier ironic form–on multiple levels and to breathtaking effect.

We begin with the obvious: Faust, who works as an environmental attorney, is asking the Coastal Commission to prevent the cleanup of a contaminated former railyard from which toxins flow persistently into Humboldt Bay.

Then there’s the Coastal Commission itself, which was Faust’s employer for more than 20 years. He rose to the rank of chief counsel before a brief but memorably disreputable stint as Humboldt’s interim county counsel.

Handing him that gig on a golden platter was none other than Bonnie Neely, who now chairs the same organization to which Faust is appealing.

Which brings us to Faust’s self-righteous statements to his fellow planning commissioners just one week ago about recusing himself from discussion of three Arkley projects. Faust insisted he had always treated Arkley right but was selflessly stepping back from the projects to save the county time and money.

What a guy! Six days later he appealed the Eureka City Council’s approval of the interim cleanup which, if successful, would grind Arkley’s Marina Center development to a halt.

Have we left anything out?

Maybe just this: Faust, the man who purports to save Eurekans from the horrors of a nontoxic waterfront, carpetbagged his angry inch up here from San Francisco fewer than three years ago. He does not live–and in fact he has never lived–in or even near the city of Eureka.


Meaningless Update 1: Today’s Times-Standard contains a longer list of appellants in a story we would link to if we could find it online.
Meaningless Update 2: Bastards finally put the story up online this afternoon. Read your merry ass off here.

52 Responses

  1. Maybe I’m reading this wrong but it looks like this was filed by Faust personally. I’m just saying it looks like it’s not in his role as an NEC attorney, not in his role as a planning commissioner, not in his role as former county counsel and not in his role as a Coastal Commission attorney. I’m just trying to make sure I’ve got this right.

  2. It almost seems like it has to be a joke. He’s so compromised in so many different ways he’s got to be laughing his ass off.

  3. Once again the machine lives down to our expectations. Just in time for Thanksgiving though. Some irony there but more so, the man’s name is enough.

    Seems somehow fitting and sadly predictable. The Friends of the Bonnie Dunes are in high spirits tonight.

    The problem is picking the real Mephistopheles from the line up when there may be many more than one.

  4. Well said, friend, as usual.

  5. Thus the curious wording of his recusal… very interesting…
    “I think the whole process would be better served if I recuse myself from participation in these three matters.”

    The WHOLE PROCESS. Since I am about to file a lawsuit. What a despicable creep.

  6. Sorry Rose….

    That is unfair to the despicable creeps of the world. Faust gives creep a whole new definition.

  7. Sorry Rose….

    That is unfair to the despicable creeps of the world. Gives ’em a bad name

  8. “Have we left anything out?”
    How about the other appeals?
    One by Humboldt Baykeeper, EPIC and Northcoast Environmental Center, and you already know they have a team of seasoned lawyers behind them.
    And more important, a third appeal by two Coastal Commissioners: Mark Stone and Ross Mirkarimi.
    Let’s count votes: start with two in favor of the appeal from Stone and Mirkarimi. Add Neely. Steve Blank is an Audubon guy. Sara Wan? “Prior to joining the Commission, Mrs. Wan had been a long time environmental activist.” Dr. William Burke looks to be another enviro. Hmm, that’s already a majority. Bitch and moan and call them all names as much as you want – it’s already over.

  9. I would like to carpetbag my testicles on those dumb ass bastards’ heads.

  10. Every dog has his day. It just turns out that this one isn’t yours. Hugs!

  11. Another victory for those who enjoy watching out-of-towners determine our destiny. Be proud!!

  12. Brilliantly stated!!

  13. This is really something you’re proud of Anonymous? That activist politicians from other parts of the state come up here and tell us who can sell hardware and who can’t? There’s something seriously wrong with you. Or maybe you’re just another of those activist politicians. That would explain a lot.

  14. Bugs, what city is withheld’s IP address registered in?

  15. Coastal Commissioners are appealing to themselves? That oughtta be a fair hearing.

  16. Fair AND impartial. No bias there.

  17. “Faust, the man who purports to save Eurekans from the horrors of a nontoxic waterfront, carpetbagged his angry inch up here from San Francisco fewer than three years ago. He does not live–and in fact he has never lived–in or even near the city of Eureka.”


  18. I thought those lefties were all about local control but they don’t seem to mind San Franciscans and Sonomans running our little backwater for us, as long as the San Franciscans and Sonomans fight against Arkleys. Word up, though. They’re not just fighting Arkleys this time. They’re fighting a majority of Eurekans who think the stupidity of the Fausts and Nichols’ has gone far enough. So look the fuck out. You may have finally awakened the sleeping giant.

  19. Someone should start a video survalence outside Pierson’s home. No doubt that all of the usual suspect fucks have been pow-wow-in’ over there in order to stop our progress.

    Git er’ done Randy! Eurekans (atleast those that grew up here) support you.

  20. Here’s what stings…the majority of the County support the cleanup and development, yet this is how a small minority are carrying on. A collective fuck you to the masses.

    Instead of whinning, we need to be kicking ourselves in the ass, repeatedly, until we can figure a way back into some political representation. There is a lack of leadership.

  21. Where does he live currently?

  22. The pendulum always swings back.

  23. I think it just did

  24. Amen Steak n Eggs! We need to make sure we see some changes in who is representing our best interests. It needs to happen in 2010. The campaign needs to begin NOW. We know who needs to go.

  25. Oakland

  26. An Arkley stacked City Council Room helped you come to the conclusion that the majority of the County’s citizens support the Marina Center?

    How convenient!

    I’m sure the whine and cheese party beforehand helped as well

  27. Just a thought – if the Coastal Commissioners jump into the fray at this point, don’t they have to recuse themselves when it actually comes before the Coastal Commission because of bias? And if they don’t recuse themselves, let’s sue their asses. Come on now, really let’s do it! think of the fun of running them outta town.

  28. Looking back – Rob Arkley was an unknown. No one objected when he was fixing up the Vance. No one objected when he gave seventeen grand to Paul Gallegos. Salzman and Co. were more than happy to go to Rob with their hands out for money – and Salzman even commented once on that noting that everyone goes asking for money but no one who did that stood up for Cherie in her race. It was one of Salzman’s ‘Good Angel” moments.

    Something happened to cause a rift between Arkely and Salzman, which, as you recall, blew up all over the front pages of the papers. Whether it was that Arkely caught on to what Salzman was really doing – or what – is unknown.

    But ever since then – getting Arkley has been a blood sport.

    Knowing the small group engaged in the attempts to assassinate him and his projects, it is amazing that any city officials will play along – but that would be to ignore the factions in play. That would require that someone like Larry Glass (and Bonnie Neely) could get beyond tribal warfare (as Kevin Hoover correctly identifies it) and actually be working for the people and the community and set aside their partisan/tribal affiliations.

    Neely’s history is also key here – what caused her to turn to the Salzman sell-your-soul-to-the-devil side? Did her blood feud begin over Walmart? Or over her failed run for a higher office? Or was it simply that she believed the only way to keep her job was to turn? To the people who stabbed her husband and her friend in the back. To the people who were ‘balls to the wall’ out to get her and get her removed from her Coastal Commission seat and any other higher appointments she might get.

    What a sorry and despicable mess.

    Scorched earth politics leave more toxins than in this community, and do more damage than can even be expressed.

    It’s time for a cleanup alright – but it doesn’t involve digging up soil near the bay – there’s a different kind of dirt involved here. And Faust is up to his eyeballs in it.

  29. The citizens clearly support the cleanup and potential future development regardless of what the Eureka City Council voted.

    However, unless the citizens speak up and make their voices heard, the vocal minority wins. Its not an outrage, its just business as usual.

    Community leaders and activists are coming out against it, but where are the rest of the County’s politicians on this one? Probably as far away as they can be. Despite being in Eureka, the project has county-wide implications. Its as if the progs are the only ones capable of having an appreciation of our bay.

    Where are you on this Cliff?…. Time to represent your 1st District and take a fucking stand.

  30. You know – I think Faust should be referred to as “The Slime.” Frank would approve.

    You know:

    I am gross and perverted
    I’m obsessed ‘n deranged
    I have existed for years
    But very little has changed
    I’m the tool of the Government
    And industry too
    For I am destined to rule
    And regulate you
    I may be vile and pernicious
    But you can’t look away
    I make you think I’m delicious
    With the stuff that I say
    I’m the best you can get
    Have you guessed me yet?
    I’m the slime oozin’ out
    From your TV set
    You will obey me while I lead you
    And eat the garbage that I feed you
    Until the day that we don’t need you
    Don’t go for help . . . no one will heed you
    Your mind is totally controlled
    It has been stuffed into my mold
    And you will do as you are told
    Until the rights to you are sold
    That’s right, folks . . .Don’t touch that dial
    Well, I am the slime from your video
    Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor
    I am the slime from your video
    Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go
    I am the slime from your video
    Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor
    I am the slime from your video
    Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go

    BTW – this was Ethel’s idea originally so I gotta credit her.

  31. And btw – thanks for getting my comments out of moderation before hours and days have gone by. It’s very aggravating when they don’t show up. Why am I on moderate?

  32. I don’t think there is one person in town who would have a problem with another Vance type project. Did anyone have a problem with the Arkley Center for the Arts? The Boardwalk?

    Please refresh my memory if I’m mistaken.

  33. Cause you’re all whack and shit.

    Just KIDDING! Because the WordPress comment filter is as inscrutable as your politics.

    Still KIDDING! But honestly, we have no idea why your comments get held. You’re not on moderate. Really.

  34. Here is the link bugs – guess the lazy bastards over at the time-standard are drinking the same hooch as the graphics department.


  35. Yep. That’s Ralph. One very large, arrogant pompous bully – an Envirnmental Impact of his own category. Don’t get me wrong – he’s still flushable.

  36. Within a riparian area next to a creek in Bayside. I would not be surprized if his road were past 800 feet
    long with no secondary access either – that’s a favorite method of taking away property rights of his and Kirkie’s and Marky’s and Petey Douglas’s…

    Bet ‘cha did not know his daughter is a planner for the local Coastal Commission office.

    Isn’t this FUN????

    We know Kirky rides his bike up J Street in Eureka to work (with lights flashing no less), and the Bon Bon (who is awfully close to Connie these days) drives a greed sedan; does any body have the license number and make of Faust’s car?

  37. Yeah, good idea. But Billy’s house is smakc dab in the middle of a riparian area with a wetland!!!!!!!!!!! He HAS his…..

  38. Oh please – most of the folks that spoke at all 3 meetings were not even aware of a cheese party beforehand – would you like some WHINE with yours???

  39. And Bon bon too. We think it may have had something to do with Roger telling her to stop bitch-slapping everyone…but maybe it was earlier than that – when she was caught out of town on vacation driving a county vehicle? Or when the pictures of her and “new” county employees at mid – management level partying in New Orleans on our buck telling them “this is how it’s gonna be” Or..? …??? There are just SO many opportunities of dirt diggin here…including the worms.

  40. They hate Rob Arkley for several reasons. He is everything they are not; he is a doer, private sector successful, and does not toterate incompetance….. and he calls them on it. oh and the worst crime of all!!! I think he is a Republican….

  41. So can anybody prove that there was controversy over the Vance, the Arkley Center, or the Boardwalk?

  42. Oh…. an Arkley stacked council chamber??? is that because All 8 of the opposition supporters showed up??

  43. Without the Arkley brigade, there would have been a total of 8 people at the meeting

  44. I’ve been here for less than a decade. Humboldt County has been bitterly divided since the day I moved here. How long has it been like this?

  45. That seems a little much, doesn’t it?

  46. Ever since Girard decided to leave his mark in 1998, and “‘throw away’ the General Plan and undertake writing a new one.”

  47. sigh. ok.

  48. Can we get rid of the Faust picture, doesn’t work with my breakfast!

  49. Faust is as corrupt as Bon Bon . It’s a draw again on their evil personalities.

  50. Well, maybe –

  51. you rock!

  52. So this is what a 5ft 6in pile of shit looks like wearing a suit.

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